Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Compliments

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How do you react to compliments?

Me? It all depends on the context. If it’s work related, I bask in them. And maybe do a little dance. And perhaps pat myself on the back. You see, I’m good at my job. I really am, and I know it. It plays to all my strengths!

But if it’s in any way regarding physical traits, I shy away, or deflect, change the subject, or tell the compliment-er everything that’s wrong with the statement.

What does that mean? That I’m not comfortable in my skin?

Hm. I consider myself to be a fairly competent and confident woman. This irks me, and I’m not sure I know how to fix it.

Voting Day

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Today is voting day in the United States of America. While votes happen annually or more for local/state etc… This is the big kahuna – the 4 year Presidential election.

I live in California. There are a few initiatives on the ballot that I think are “heavy hitters.” I was a little bothered that I didn’t even know they were up for anything until I read my voter information. I was surprised at the lack of publicity over the potential changes to the three-strike law, or the freakin’ death penalty. I mean, c’mon. Regardless of your actual stance on the subject, “do we execute these criminals or not” or “dude, do we kill ’em” might be important. Just sayin’.

Anyhoo… If you have the right to vote? Use it. If you don’t, you have no right to complain, and you’ve just shown your ignorance. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s true. If you’re given some sort of say and don’t use it? You negate your ability to complain about the results. I don’t necessarily like everything about how the system works (for example, I believe we should get rid of the electoral college), but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to vote. I consider it a privilege, exercising my right, and a duty as an American. If I want my governmental body a certain way, than I have to use the legal device I’m given. If the rest of populace doesn’t vote my way, at least the hope is that the governmental body will reflect the wishes of the majority of the people of the country even if they’re all wrong.

The folks who don’t vote because it’s inconvenient? “I can’t get off work,” or “I work nights,” etc? No excuse. That’s why we can vote by mail. Poe works nights. He will be asleep, or at the very least not coherent, during the times the polls are open. So, instead, he votes by mail. I work from home (which doesn’t mean my time is my own – the clients expect me at the computer doing the work I’m being paid for). I have two kids. My elderly folks are next door. And? We have odd emergencies other folks don’t seem to have. Such as yesterday when my father came over in a panic ’cause he lost mom. Yes, really. Because I truly never know what to expect around here? I vote by mail.

The folks who don’t vote for reasons like, “it’s one of two evils,” or “I’m Libertarian and my guy will never win” simply don’t fly for me. Awwwwww, boo-hoo-hoo. Figure it out. You’re whining. Be an adult. Which leads me to another opinion.

I think a great majority of folks would agree with the above. But I also think you should REALLY VOTE HOW YOU FEEL. If you truly believe in the Libertarian party, then vote for Gary Johnson. If you truly feel Ron Paul is the choice for you, because he lines up most with your beliefs, then write him in. If you settle for voting for one of the “big guys” because you feel that’s the only way your vote will count, you’re not exercising your rights, you’re settling. I think that if more people would vote how they truly feel, that’s when REAL change would start. I personally am voting for one of the “big guys,” but that’s because I think one of them is the right answer for this election. I’m not settling. If I felt Ron Paul was the dude, that’s who I’d vote for, and let the chips fall where they may, because that’s how I think it should work. True, my guy might not win THIS election. But what if everyone started voting on their true beliefs and gut? What would happen? Would it upset the apple cart? Probably. But would the will of the people have spoken? Yes.

I figure this late in the game you already know what’s on the ballot and where your polling place is so I don’t have to smack you on the back of the head. But here’s a couple of places they’ll be tracking results if you need it:

Have your say. Exercise your rights. Be an adult. Be an American. Vote.

Freaky Cat Number One

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We have two cats. I thought I’d tell you about them, one at a time to lengthen my nablopomo posts so you don’t get overwhelmed.

So the first… Sassy. Here, have some cuteness…

This one. Oy. First off – she loves herself a warm body. Kids go to bed – she’s with one of them. Then one of us goes to bed, so at some point, she can be found in one of our crotches, or wrapped around my head. Then we get up early, so she goes to Joseph. Joseph gets up next, so she moves on to Logan. At which point, he gets up, and she bides her time until I sit to work for the day, so she can claim my lap.

I don’t care if she’s dead to the world, if she hears the food, it takes 1/2 a second for her to show up in the kitchen. Possibly still half asleep. Also, if she’s awake, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing in the kitchen. OBVIOUSLY there must be food involved.

And her most endearing quality… If I start talking in my teacher voice (explaining something to the kids), or speak animatedly (telling Poe a story), or really am mad and venting, she assumes I’m mad or sad. She will do anything in her power to get into my arms in order to bury her head in my neck and hug me. You can tell, she’s just trying to calm me down. “Mommy don’t be sad!” And rest assured, if someone’s sick, she can tell, and she’ll stick by them like glue (with lots of snuggles and head butts) until they feel better.

Her biggest quirk? If we have a cold drink she will find it and lick the outside condensation. She doesn’t want the drink – she wants the outside. She does the same thing to the windows on foggy days, or in the bathroom when the condensation forms on the glass due to the steam. And? She may have the most noxious flatulence in the animal kingdom.

Come in Children… I have Candy.

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On Halloween, we took the kids to a new street in our little city. Logan’s teacher had given the class her home address (!) so that the kids could come trick-or-treat. According to Logan ONLY UNTIL 8PM AND THEN SHE WON’T ANSWER THE DOOR. He was quite clear on her boundaries. It wasn’t our usual haunt (see what I did there?) but it seemed like a good street, so we continued, rather than going to our regular “spot.”

We can’t trick-or-treat by our house – it’s the 2nd busiest street in our town, sidewalks are hit and miss, and so are the streetlights. Just too dangerous.

Anyhoo… It was a normal trip. The usual sweet kids, the usual rude kids, the same kind of folks answering the door. At two elderly women’s doors, I just about melted. One was just as ticked off as a proper 85 year old woman can get because her outside lights weren’t turning on. The Kids Wouldn’t Know She Has CANDY!! In a word, she was verklempt. At another home, another very proper woman waited. I’d guess 85 or so – but could have been older. She was dressed to the nines – not a costume, but from the era of being “done” until you go to bed. Heels, a brocade pantsuit, hair in full bomb-couldn’t-move-it. Waiting in what cannot be termed an entry way. A vestibule perhaps? It was extremely formal, extremely proper, but you could totally tell she dug answering the door and giving out candy. She looked lonely. I inadvertently insulted one dude. I complimented him on his decorations “this season.” “It’s awesome EVERY season.” Well, okay then. My apologies.

I’m a bit of a helicopter parent. Can’t help it. I don’t trust other people. So I don’t wait out at the street. Poe waits at the street (he doesn’t like my back uncovered). I wait at the bottom of the porch to keep an eye on things (and also to make sure manners are observed). I guess certain habits and anxieties from other parts of our lives just don’t go away no matter how “safe” your community is. So we stop at one house, ring the doorbell and wait. A tall man answers the door, the kids “trick-or-treat!”, and man says, “Come on in!” AND MY KIDS DO.

This is the part where you go OMGWTFBBQ!?!1!

It took me a full second on the porch with my mouth hanging open before I practically tackled the children to save them from the man who invited them into his house. Turns out it’s a dad from the school (who I recognized once the red tinted rage dissipated somewhat from my eyes). The kids knew him and didn’t want to be impolite, and the dad was waiting on costumed children for his kids’ Halloween party – but he didn’t know exactly WHICH kids were showing up. Of course the kids start talking, and the mom comes marching in pissed off, because you see… MY kids weren’t invited thankyouverymuch (which is where I go WTF? ‘Scuse me bitch, but take it up with your husband. I don’t want my kids in your snooty house anyway.) Don’t worry, I was polite. We said our thank yous and moved on. As they closed the door on our butts, I didn’t hear what the wife said, but heard the husband say, “Fine then! YOU answer the door. I was just doing what you asked me to!” Poor guy.

And that’s how my kids ended up lured into a house by candy. Sort of.

How to Abdicate Parenting Responsibility (and Have it Ridiculed on the Internet)

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I nearly forgot I was doing NaBloPoMo. That doesn’t bode well for the rest of the month.

Today’s post features me ranting about someone else’s parenting. Call it Parenting, You’re Doing It Wrong. One of the things I do in my professional life is provide advice in different categories via Skype. I do it through a service. I’m editing the below to remove the service, and make the idiot anonymous. The category this came through was parenting school aged kids. Also, I’m putting the rest below the fold – GRAPHIC WARNING: The discussion of sex (in the context of parenting) follows.

Here are my own opinions on the matter, before I post the discussion.

  • To parent a child, you must address all matters, even icky ones. Not to do so is a disservice to your child.
  • Sex, to some is icky and embarrassing. Even to parents. So what? Just because you feel embarrassed by the conversation doesn’t mean ignorance is appropriate.
  • Your morals, household rules, and religion does NOT negate the responsibility you have to your child. In fact, it heightens it, because not only do you have to have to make sure your child understands the world around them, you also have to provide context and what the mores of your beliefs are.
  • Not giving your child scientific, biological information about their reproductive system, puberty, sex, pregnancy, and STDs could be life threatening to your child.
  • Not giving your child emotional, relational, moral, and religious (if you are) information in regards to sex and pregnancy is irresponsible, and potentially emotionally and mentally damaging to your child.
  • Not giving your child information about subjects they WILL run into for the rest of their life is irresponsible and unforgivably ignorant.
  • Not talking to your child about these subjects because you’re embarrassed is selfish and immature.
  • Not talking to your child about these subjects because they’re embarrassed is thinking like a friend (a bad one) instead of as a parent.
  • Regardless of subject matter, breaking house rules is subject to consequences. For that not to be the case lacks discipline, and gives an example to your child that what they do doesn’t matter. Even though my kids have special needs, and break house rules honestly because of them, rather than disobedience/disrespect, does not mean there aren’t consequences. It just means we take everything into consideration.
  • It is okay to have your child learn from another source, should the other source be more knowledgeable. Examples include giving them books on other subjects, or enrolling them in a class (in fact I know a teacher on the subject!) But that DOES NOT MEAN you get to abdicate responsibility for talking to them.
  • Just because you believe, or your religious scripture dictates, that something is wrong, does NOT MEAN they will not face the issue. Therefore YOU need to face the issue.
  • Finally… If you don’t give them the information, they will find it from other sources. ALWAYS.

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