Poe and I have been sniping. Or maybe just I have been sniping.
When couples are together for a long time, they learn everything about each other. We recently celebrated our 11th anniversary. That’s a long time. And I’ve discovered something. Normally, I am very good about keeping completely menial gripes to myself. Certain things just don’t matter, and there’s no reason to bring them up. Like socks balled up in the dirty clothes. It bugs me.
Before, I was always able to just let it go. Who cares? Why pick a fight over socks of all things?
But now? It’s becoming a lot harder not to gripe. And the reason is simple. He’s always here. We’re always together. We do everything together. 24/7. All of this togetherness is driving me up a freakin’ wall. We’re trying to find him a job. That’s a totally different issue – market’s horrible, and we’re doing the best we can. But on the other hand, it’s like, go away so I can miss you!!
I’d be willing to bet this is the same thing that couples go through when they retire – the sudden togetherness. Seems we need to recognize it for what it is, and not let petty stuff get the better of us.
Amazing how easy it sounds when you put it that way. As easy as NOT balling up your socks.
Gah! We’re in gripe-mode too. Maybe it’s in the water?
When hubby is hanging around the house, it drives me nuts.
We knew, when we got married, that we would both be busy. Our marriage is predicated on that idea. It has worked for 25 years.
Togetherness? Not so much.
I feel your pain. And I hope he finds a job soon. For lots of reasons.
oh i know… we’ve hit year 8 and it has been a hard one. irritations flare more easily and the gentle soft things we used to do, we seem to have forgotten somewhere along the way. i’m still figuring out how to make it better.
My in-laws have been together for 50 or so years now. And I have heard countless times how my FIL has driven my MIL crazy because he gets bored and doesn’t know what to do with himself.. so she sends him out to the garage, or upstairs to play on the computer, or to do whatever else, to keep him out of her hair. They love each other, but nobody needs to spend 24-7 with each other. It’s just not good.
David works from home on Wednesdays, but (omg I can’t believe I’m going to say this), thankfully he is in his office all day. He isn’t much the “lets hang out every waking moment” type.. but it really used to bug me that he spent so much time on his computer. Now and then, it still does. But I find myself enjoying that time by doing “me” stuff.
Is it possible to create your own niches somewhere seperate from each other? I seem to recall your computers were right next to each other.. can you move one to another room? Maybe rearrange furniture so that you have a reading nook or something.. see if he’s into gardening LOL..