Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

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Not Enough to go Around

November 19, 2012 By Michele Leave a Comment

Do you ever wonder if you just don’t have what it takes?

I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and not doing anything right. I’m working full time, yes. But the money is so little it’s not putting a dent into what we owe.

My parents are mad at me all the time – I can’t do anything right. They’ve even started undermining my parental authority, which is new and has never happened before.

I feel like I never see Poe, ’cause of our wonky schedules.

I repeat myself ad naseum to my kids, and yet they don’t change their behavior, regardless of consistency, discipline, schedules, and consequences.

And now I just got a note from a friend, because we never talk.

I feel like I’m spread too thin on too much toast.

More on the Paranormal

November 16, 2012 By Michele Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I had broke down my experiences.

Apparently, whatever is in our house wishes to express itself.

I’ve been getting random tingles. What I mean by that is random goosebump moments. It is in a semi-circular hand sized shape of goosbumps in random places on my body at random times. If it happens a lot in a short period of time, I’ll say out loud, “OK! I know you’re here, but you need to leave me alone right now.” And it stops.

Well, yesterday – my bottom got pat. I had to tell it to knock it off.

This morning, Poe – who does NOT believe in the paranormal – asked me if I woke up last night. Nope. Well, apparently the bed shook really hard, like a large person bumping it, three times. He sat up and called to me thinking I was trying to get his attention. He even had me look up earthquakes to see if that was it. He can’t explain it, but it definitely shook him up.

What have we got going on? No clue.

My Paranormal Experiences

November 15, 2012 By Michele Leave a Comment

It looks like my blog is back up! I had to do a little yelling at my host. Thanks to Kendra for letting me know about it.

So… Paranormal experiences. Yup, I’ve had ’em. I have no idea why spirits might still be here. But I also believe that we don’t know everything, and we’re not meant to. A long time ago, I stopped saying, “it’s not possible.” Here, I’ll list ’em for you:

  • 4 years old – Stormy night, and I can’t sleep. I’ve ever liked thunder, still don’t, and so I was still awake. I started hearing voices. A LOT of them – all kinds, kids, women, men, and scary voices too. All of them were saying my name over and over, but not at the same time like a rhythm, so it was just a cacophony. Then, as the lightning flashed I kept seeing shadows on the wall. But they were changing. So instead of say, tree branches that would essentially stay the same, or move a little due to wind, it was all kinds of different patterns every lightning flash. I started screaming, and dad came and put me in their bed. They said it was a nightmare due to the storm and dismissed it. I say I never went to sleep. I can still remember audibly and visually that experience, so I say it was real.
  • 17 years old, summer – My great-grandmother Addie, 90, lived next door. She got stomach cancer. Literally from date of diagnosis to death it was 10 days. My mom, dad, and I took turns in 24 hour shifts to care for her. Keep her comfortable, proper morphine control, bathroom trips and the like. When she passed, I was not there, although every single other member of the family was. I just had finished one of my 24 hour shifts, and mom had sent me home (next door.) I walked in the door, and mom called and said grandma was gone. Later that year, after the start of school – so probably, about 2 months later. I had vocabulary homework. I pulled out the dictionary, paused, decided not to do my homework, and put it back. Grandma’s picture promptly came off the wall and fell on my head. I did my homework.
  • Now – My house has lots and lots of noises. Some of them I discount if the cats aren’t right there with me, ’cause frankly, they get into lots of mischief. Some are startling and nerve-wracking ’cause my bedroom is a huge room, with a stepdown into our office. That stepdown was an addition to the house, and was never insulated. So we here really loud cracks and pops from that half of the room. Every once in a while the pops will go in a circle around the ceiling and around the walls. You can follow the noises.
  • Now – Once, I was sitting at my computer in the office. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a boy come down the step and head towards my husband’s computer. He was the size of Logan, with his dark blonde colored hair. He was wearing a blue t-shirt, so I looked up to holler at him, because it was past his bedtime, and there was no one there.
  • Now – I recently recorded a video for a private collab thing I participate in. During the time that I was recording, it was late at night. Around midnight or so. I try not to stay up that late on weeknights, but I needed the quiet to record, and so I had waited for the kids to go to bed, and for Poe to go to work. Towards the end of the video I started to get really, really uncomfortable, and started looking all around, but saw nothing. All kinds of noises started up. Finally I felt a wave of energy push me from behind. At that point, I just stopped what I was doing and went to bed.

So. Do I believe in the paranormal? Yes, but I don’t have any answers as to the whys or hows. Do I have proof? No, just my personal experiences. Do you believe? Do you have a good story to tell?

Compliments

November 7, 2012 By Michele Leave a Comment

How do you react to compliments?

Me? It all depends on the context. If it’s work related, I bask in them. And maybe do a little dance. And perhaps pat myself on the back. You see, I’m good at my job. I really am, and I know it. It plays to all my strengths!

But if it’s in any way regarding physical traits, I shy away, or deflect, change the subject, or tell the compliment-er everything that’s wrong with the statement.

What does that mean? That I’m not comfortable in my skin?

Hm. I consider myself to be a fairly competent and confident woman. This irks me, and I’m not sure I know how to fix it.

37

March 29, 2012 By Michele Leave a Comment

Today, at 7:03am, I turned 37 years old.

While I do have regrets in my life, I also believe that all actions lead you to where you are. While, at 37, I’m not where I thought I would be in terms of financial success/security, I do have a blessed life full of love – folks I love, and folks who love me in all my neuroses.

Am I aging? Ohhhh yes. The wrinkles are a little more pronounced. My hair is going silver. My joints creak. I’ve got a bad back, bad knees, among other things. Do I mind? No. I’ve earned every wrinkle. Every gray hair. Every creak and groan. I hope, and believe, that I’ve also garnered wisdom. Wisdom I use to live a better life, and wisdom I can pass on to my children and others that they may not make some of my mistakes.

Not that anyone listens to me.

We can’t really celebrate today due to Poe’s sleep/work schedule. So yesterday, during the day, he and I went to a movie (This Means War) and lunch at Fuddruckers (a really good hamburger joint). Somehow, it was for my birthday, and Poe still got explosions and cheeseburgers, so it was a good birthday for him too!

I’ve earned 37. I decided to own 37. 37 is my bitch. My gift to myself? I bought myself a pair of combat boots. I will rock them. I’m waiting on a particular job opportunity for Poe. If it goes through, I will not have to get a “real” job, and if it doesn’t, I will. As soon as I know how respectable I have to be, I’m bringing back the pink stripe in my hair.

37 is going to Rock. I plan on enjoying every minute. On my terms. I plan on making 37 an awesome year.

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Wife. Mother. Daughter. Business owner. Please send coffee.

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