So. I think I’m depressed. I go through bouts of it fairly often. It starts first with incredible stress. Check. Then it moves on to a desire to hide. Check. Then I start physically doing stuff – in other words, I’m not wearing makeup or jewelry or an attempt to match my clothng. Check.
I’m grwoing closer to God, which I think in the long run will help me handle everything better as I learn to trust in Him more and more. That’s a good thing. I don’t have to do EVERYTHING myself.
I start the dreaded WW again this Friday. That will help. My clothes are starting to get too tight.
We going to be stricter on our budget. That will help (there’s a LOT of financial stress).
I think at first, I just have to give in to it a little bit. Go home, get jammies on, get in bed, and watch dvds. Wallow a little. It only takes a couple of days to get good and sick of myself. Then I start coming back out of it. When I don’t start coming back out of it, that’s when I start to worry. Such as the 6 months we lived with the in-laws. ‘nough said.
BUT! With this slump I’m in now… I’ve not been too bad with the self talk. This is a very good thing. I’m not denigrating myself in my mind. It’s more of an, “Okay, I know what this is… You need to do this now.” Rather than a “You’re so stupid, you’re a horrible mother, a horrible wife, totally selfish, and just look at that gut!” That’s the usual self talk that goes with my depression. So, I actually think I’m improving.
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