This has been a week

This has been a week of hell, it truly has. Everything that could go wrong at work, has. I was here last night until after 8pm fixing stuff. I hate weeks like this. Logan has a cardiologist appointment today. Hopefully all will go well. I nearly panicked. These appointments happen every other month, and they’re $600 + per appointment. I had thought that the kids lost their insurance as of Dec. 1st sue to the strike. I called the union, and it turns out that it didn’t end until Dec. 31st, thank God. I’m feeling a lot of animosity and sadness about Christmas this year. I can’t buy presents. I think we’re doing $10 at the dollar store for Joseph, and that’s it. That’s the best part of the whole thing for me. I get to buy for people. I’m very good at it. But giving people stuff for no reason (ie: birthdays, big occasions like babies, and Christmas) tends to make people uncomfortable (they wonder if they need to reciprocate, and don’t understand the whole \”just because\” idea). So this is my big time of year where I get to figure out what would be perfect for them, and I become a detective – what do they need, what do they like, what do they want? I love it. And this year I can’t do it. We’re going to get a tree. I don’t know how yet, but we will. I hate this strike. It has to end this week if it will effect our Christmas, since once he goes back to work it’ll be 2 weeks til he starts getting paychecks again. I hate this. I simply truly hate it. I feel poor, I feel helpless. I can’t do the things that need to be done (car maintenance). I can barely get groceries. And worse, I will not be able to give anything to my wonderful husband on Christmas, my favorite day in the whole year. I want to cry.