I suppose it’s natural.
I keep marking time.
This is my last weekend in which I will have to wake up Monday and go to work.
I’m excited, elated, scared, tired, anxious. Mostly I just want the transition overwith so I can get going on my “new” life.
Training my new replacement is going well. She’s smart, so it’s not like I have to teach her how Outlook or Word works, which helps tremendously. She also has temped at my company before, which means she’s familiar with some internal programs, also a huge help. She’s religious, so I don’t have to feel like I have to keep anything down low. We do, however, have a tendency to go off on tangents, so some of the training has gone slower than I wanted it to, however, I think I’ll get most of it done with her. She’s very perky and excited, which I’ll beat out of her. Kidding. Sort of. Basically, this is her first “real” job out of grad school, although as someone who’s been very involved in ministry, and traveling and such, it’s not like she’s green. I’m going to make sure that she knows to email me if she needs some advice on internal politics. She may be technically proficient – but let’s face it, this is the entertainment industry, and I don’t want it to chew her up and spit her out. I’ve gotten chewed up plenty, and know how it feels. My only concern is, she’s got some real doctrinal differences with our boss, which I’m hoping she’ll be able to compartmentalize. One might say, “But this is work! You separate work and religion!” Well yes. In theory. In reality, though, if you’re religious, it is the compass by which you see your world, and react to your world. So it really does make a difference sometimes. For example… If I worked with an ardent atheist… That wouldn’t matter. If I worked with an ardent atheist who constantly made fun of those “religious idiots” I’d have a hard time. He’d be insulting me – even if he didn’t know about my philosophies, and that would indeed effect our relationship at some point. So, my hope is that they’ll be able to agree to disagree – or at least, that my replacement will be able to overlook the differences. Because, it will indeed be up to her.
All this week, I was doing the job, with her over my shoulder, as I explained what/why/how I was doing it. Next week, I’m putting her in the driver’s seat, and I’ll be a back seat driver. All of this is very nervewracking for me, and very much a lesson in letting go. I’m a perfectionist, as well as anal retentive. I basically told her up front – don’t change a thing until I’m gone.
You know – for someone who hates change, plunging myself into leaving a job I’ve had for almost 4 years, starting a business, and staying home and all that entails, is simply a prescription for anxiety.
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