Our wedding anniversary was last month. I never wrote a post – to say it has been weird and crazy around here is an understatement. We’ve been married 11 years. We made it past a decade!
Lots of pictures, past the jump.
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Love Gets Annoyed
Poe and I have been sniping. Or maybe just I have been sniping.
When couples are together for a long time, they learn everything about each other. We recently celebrated our 11th anniversary. That’s a long time. And I’ve discovered something. Normally, I am very good about keeping completely menial gripes to myself. Certain things just don’t matter, and there’s no reason to bring them up. Like socks balled up in the dirty clothes. It bugs me.
Before, I was always able to just let it go. Who cares? Why pick a fight over socks of all things?
But now? It’s becoming a lot harder not to gripe. And the reason is simple. He’s always here. We’re always together. We do everything together. 24/7. All of this togetherness is driving me up a freakin’ wall. We’re trying to find him a job. That’s a totally different issue – market’s horrible, and we’re doing the best we can. But on the other hand, it’s like, go away so I can miss you!!
I’d be willing to bet this is the same thing that couples go through when they retire – the sudden togetherness. Seems we need to recognize it for what it is, and not let petty stuff get the better of us.
Amazing how easy it sounds when you put it that way. As easy as NOT balling up your socks.
Him and Me
I wanted to write something light hearted after that last post. Luckilly Dooce has a meme.
What are your middle names?
Mine is Kee, a family name. His is Joseph.
How long have you been together?
Our 11th anniversary is coming up in April. And that’s just about how long we’ve been together considering he asked me to marry him in three days, and we were married three months later.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
A month. We were in class together.
Who asked whom out?
Well – I guess me. I asked to sit next to him in Church. Three days later we were engaged.
How old are each of you?
I’ll be 34 next month. He’s 32 – 33 in September.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
Neither really. Enter long convoluted family history here.
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Money is one. I’m a saver, he’s a spender. We don’t have a lot of it, now that I’m home, and I have some history things that lead to a level of insecurity when it comes to funds. As in I’ve been homeless and never want to go through that again. Although we’ve been through all kinds of things. Addictions, and deaths, and miscarriages… It’s all hard.
Did you go to the same school?
Yes, briefly.
Are you from the same home town?
Nope. I was born in Hollywood, he was born in San Jose.
Who is smarter?
I want to remain married, thank you.
Who is the most sensitive?
Heh. Me. Most definitely me.
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We don’t.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
The Mexican Riviera on our Honeymoon. Not that we saw much of it.
Who has the craziest exes?
We are very even on that score. Although he was once engaged to two women at once, so one could argue that HE is the crazy ex.
Who has the worst temper?
Me. Definitely me.
Who does the cooking?
Me. Poe nukes things great. And I believe Kraft mac n’ cheese, scrambled eggs, and burritos are on his list.
Who is the neat-freak?
Freak is such a STRONG word. Let’s just say we have different definitions of “cleaned up.”
Who is more stubborn?
Oooooo. Huh. Let’s just say it’s lucky we agree on a lot.
Who hogs the bed?
Neither of us hogs the bed, but MAN can he steal the covers.
Who wakes up earlier?
Him. He gets up at 4:30am for work. Which, unfortunately for him, spills into the weekends. Which means I get to sleep in. heh.
Where was your first date?
The parking lot of our church where we talked for 4 hours.
Who is more jealous?
Me. I think. Maybe he just broods silently.
How long did it take to get serious?
3 days.
Who eats more?
Me. Absolutely. It’s amazing to watch him subsist on air, really.
Who does the laundry?
Me.
Who’s better with the computer?
Well – he’s a CADD engineer. But I set up his computer, do his virus checks etc.
Who drives when you are together?
That’s a toss up as to who’s willing to bite their tongue more. I consider driving with him an endurance test. Will we survive? He considers driving with me a lesson in patience.
Heavy Hearts
There are some changes happening in my family. Mainly due to some spiritual fighting my husband is doing. That’s not really my story to tell. But it is hard for me to watch him struggle. Although I believe the changes in store for him will make him a better man, husband, and father.
Plus, we watched Fireproof
Plus, he’s struggling at work. Basically, they changed the structure, and he’s expected to do two full time jobs – without overtime. It’s not working. We’ve talked both about how he can present the problem to his management, and also how to manage the jobs in the meantime (I administer, it’s what I do – so I’m able to help him structure things.) But he was thisclose to quitting. Which, of course, sent me into panic mode, because the business is not close to being self sufficient yet – not to mention health insurance, this economy for finding another job, etc.
So basically, he’s introducing changes all around. Refining ones. Ones that in the long run would be wonderful, and great, and fulfilling.
But oh so painful and uncomfortable to get through to the other side on.
So I’m struggling. With my own fears and anxieties. With how to help and support him.
It’s certainly a long road, isn’t it?
Conversations with my husband
Now that I’m home, there’s been a new delegation of work around the house. He’s bringing home the bacon, and I therefore feel that the household is my “job.” He is responsible for the trash going out, the kitty litter, any bug murder, and brawn needed. The last thing on the list is he makes the kids’ lunches and snacks.
But now that I’m home he keeps forgetting.
This morning he called me around 7am.
“I’m just calling to let you know that I forgot to make their lunches and snacks. But! I have figured out a way to fix this!”
“What’s that?”
“I’ll make them at night while you’re cleaning up the kitchen. That way, we’ll be in the same room together, and can get in each other’s way and bump butts and stuff.”
“You want to bump butts with me, baby?”
“Exactly.”
So apparently, my husband has decided to get in my way. I’m ok with that.
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