From the BlogHer Life Well Lived Series:

What are your favorite relaxation techniques? And what benefits do you see from practicing them?

A year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to answer this question. Lately, however, I’ve been delving into my personal spirituality, and my relationship to God and the Divine. So… I have two ways of relaxing.

1) The zone out. In the evenings, I usually zone out. That might be reading or playing WoW, or watching movies or my DVR saves. This is just a way for me to “check out” from the day, because each day is go-go-gooooooo. It resets my brain. I have also found that I have a propensity for burn out. When I burn out, or stress out, I conjure up physical symptoms. I’m such a worrier that I’m one of those rare folks that have given myself ulcers. The doctor said it was stress because I tested negative for the bacteria that usually causes them. Because of this, I’ve dubbed Saturdays as my do-nothing day. On Saturdays I do not clean. I do not work. I do not cook. I do nothing, except what I want to do. It has helped me dramatically. I may study, or do art, or just play games, but I only do what I want to do. On those days that I cannot have my do-nothing day, I’ve really noticed a difference in my stress level for the next week. So, I apparently need that day to recharge.

2) Meditation. Yup… I meditate. I light some incense, and light a cnadle, and I meditate. Sometimes it’s on a particular subject, but more often I’m just connecting with God. That connection then grounds me so I can move on with my day in a better frame of mind. Or I do a meditative activity. For me, that’s gardening by myself. My hands are busy, and so my thoughts go more inward, go more spiritual, or I pray on certain matters.

As for the benefits to me… MAN! I am more relaxed. I have less stomach trouble. I even look forward to the times, and just knowing they’re coming will help me in the current situation I’m in to be better able to handle it. I’m happier. I’m calmer. I’m more content. I’m more settled in my emotions. All really good things.

Please go hit up BlogHer and leave your own answers and don’t forget to enter the current Life Well Lived Sweepstakes!

As part of BlogHer’s Life Well Lived series, they asked me:

How do you incorporate color into your look?

For me, over the years, I’ve realized whatever the color is… All that matters is that I LOVE IT! Yes, there are certain colors that look good on me. Green looks best on me as it brings out my eyes. But really? If you love the color, you’ll feel great wearing it, and THAT’S what makes someone look good. Their attitude makes all the difference! I hate yellow. So I wouldn’t wear something yellow – even though it might look good with my skin tone – because I don’t love it when I see it.

That being said… I also infuse color in a couple of other ways. I like to wear crazy shoes, so that can inject color. I don’t like to wear a lot of jewelry, but if I do, I usually wear one bold crazy piece that has a lot of color in it. For example, I wear a lot of black. I have a great wool peacoat (I got it on sale thankyouverymuch). It’s a whole lotta black. So, in the wintertime, I pull out that coat, and I put one of the obnoxious costume jewelry brooches I inherited from my great-grandmother. It just makes me feel good when I see it, and it comes back to I feel good, so I look good.

It’s OK to wear color, people. There’s so many folks who, perhaps, don’t feel they have the best body. So, they wear black and neutrals to detract. That old adage of “black is slimming” comes into play here. I’m here to say, “Who cares!” Do you LOVE fushia? Does fushia make you happy? (Do you know how to spell fushia? ‘Cause my spell checker hates the way I’m spelling it.) Does fushia make you perk up a little bit? Than you should be wearing fushia. It’ll bring a little spark to your day when you see it. Experiment if you’re scared to wear it. Instead, tie a scarf with fushia in it around the handle to your purse. You’ll see a little bit of happy every time you pick up your purse.

Look. Clothes, at their barest minimum, are simply there to protect your body from the elements. Any other meanings such as modesty or fashion judgement are meanings that WE as society give them. So… Give them your OWN meaning. Take joy in them. If bright pink reminds you of huge gerbera daisies and make you smile? By golly, get some bright pink into your life.

Go visit the main page and leave your own comment on how you incorporate color! Don’t forget to enter the current Life Well Lived Sweepstakes while you’re at it.

As part of BlogHer’s Life Well Lived series, I was asked :What are your favorite tips and tricks for framing and showing off your beautiful face?

This is a hard one for me, because I don’t pay too much attention to my appearance beyond some basics.

What do I have to work with? I have glasses. I have curly hair. I have a weird round face. I’m not too keen on makeup. I’m a wash and go kind of girl.

Because I’m totally squicked out by anything to do with eyes (such as contacts or laser surgery), I’m stuck with the glasses. So I always make sure I have frames I love. Love doesn’t have to equal expensive. I currently have rectangular black frames, which I love, and they were only $20.

For my hair, it’s curly and a lot of it. When I say curly, I mean full-on spiral curls. If I were to brush it out dry (which I never-ever-ever do), I have a serious, 70’s worthy afro. When it rains it just gets… Bigger. A lot bigger. Shorter is NOT better. My hair frames my round chubby face much better longer. I finally found a hair stylist that can cut my hair. If you have curly hair, I beg of you, find someone who knows curly hair. One size does not fit all on this, it makes all the difference. I also always use product, but it’s simple. I buy mousse or spray gel made for curly hair. I find that brand and expense doesn’t really matter, but “made for curly” does. Anything else is too stiff and heavy, and makes my hair really crunchy. I simply get out of the shower, and have it up in a towel while I do my other stuff, and then put the product in, comb it out with a wide toothed comb, and bend over and scrunch. Then I let it air dry, and finally do whatever I might do with it.

I do use makeup for “outside” kind of appointments, but not on a daily basis. I just don’t like the feel of it, and all eye makeup irritates my eyes. When I do wear makeup, neutrals and coppers seem to look best with my eyes and skin tone. Sometimes I let in a little green in my eyeliner. I cleanse and moisturize daily.

I think the biggest thing for me, and makes me feel best, is to do my basics, and just own ME. THIS is me. This is who I am. That’s a good thing. Sure, I’ll be 37 on Thursday. My hair is greying. I’m starting to show my age on my face. But that’s OK. That’s a result of living life. That’s how I best frame my face. Basics, and then owning it.

Want to find out how others answered, and post your own comment? Go here. And don’t forget to enter the sweepstakes!

As part of the BlogHer Life Well Lived series, we were asked this question:

The holidays make me so anxious! How can I stay organized this year?

It has taken me years to come to the point I am at. What point is that? The point at which I no longer care what everyone else does. Others’ perception of what I “should” be doing no longer matter.

I used to think I wanted the “perfect” Christmas. With the lights, and the presents, the traditions, the perfect children anticipating Santa, the family togetherness… Everyone in my life should receive a gift. My children should receive every single thing on their list. The biggest tree my ceiling will allow.

A few things that helped slap me silly: My children love Santa in THEORY. The man in the suit? Not so much. I have maybe two Santa Pics of my kids. They flat out refused to sit on that man’s lap – and speak? Oh Hells No. I am not going to force them. My children are not perfect, nor are they perfectly behaved. While I actively parent them, discipline them, and teach them, they are not, and never will be perfect. Nor is it their job to fulfill my own holiday fantasies. Money troubles for the last three years means that we have to prioritize how/what will be under the tree. And the work? All me, baby. Which means that this fantasy of mine? It’s all my fault and I’m a terrible person if it doesn’t come out “right.” Jesus seemed to be missing in all of this. In our house, we celebrate this season as a celebration of Jesus’ birth, and that’s a decision I had to make internally first.

So, I eventually started telling myself that I would do what I could, when I could, and how I wanted to do it. Some traditions emerged that my children remember, love, and ask for. Now… I make those traditions happen. I had a reality check of what matters. I prioritized. I took a gut check of what I could do, and was both personally, and financially capable of. That’s how I got rid of the anxiety.

I don’t have a list of organizational tips for others. Some of our traditions are not what other “normal” folks do (example: On Christmas Day, I bake a homemade birthday cake for Jesus. And yes, we sing Happy Birthday. To outsiders, it seems odd in a Christmas celebration). But my biggest advice is this; figure out what is true for YOU, and then create that reality. For my kids, husband, and I, some homemade fudge, and sitting down for a reminder that we’ll shoot our eye out? THAT’S Christmas Eve. Some new PJ’s as the ONE gift to open on Christmas Eve. Orange cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Nothing terribly fancy. Nothing terribly taxing. The only thing I do that I can think of as a true “tip,” Like Stays With Like. Christmas decorations are all stored together. During the season, wrapping supplies are all in one place. The gifts needing to be wrapped or hidden (wrapped or not, a certain amount magically appear overnight on Christmas Eve) are all in one place. I don’t stash. I stash, I lose.

Anyway – that’s how I lost my anxiety.

To see everyone else’s answers, and to add your own, just go ahead and go on over to the post, and comment! Also, you can enter the current $250 Sweepstakes.

As part of the BlogHer Life Well Lived series, I want to answer this question:

How do you take care of your skin when you have zero “me” time?

Really, the key for me, is making a part of my hygiene. Everyone needs to be clean. But the more… Intricate parts (exfoliation, moisture, etc.) escape me, and I don’t want to spend the time. SO. I have to take a shower, right? (Um. The answer to that is yes.) I spend the time in there, and have created a routine. Toothbrushing, shaving, getting clean, hair washing all happens in there. I buy exfoliating and moisturizing body wash.

Outside of the shower, I only put on lotion if I shave. I have a box on the counter of the stuff I do for my face all lined up. That way I can dry off, and just go down the line of lotions and potions, and not think about it. Unfortunately, I have to get more complicated than I’d like with my face because when I hit 30, acne hit like I was 16, and it’s a daily fight. And seriously? I think it is unfair to watch my hair go gray and deal with zits at the same time.

So – my advice is to streamline, make what you already do work harder, and make it so you don’t have to think about it. If I’m not getting “pretty” for something like a meeting or night out, from the minute I go into the bathroom and come out dressed, it’s 20 minutes. And really? 20 minutes might be all I get for the day before I’m too tired to care.

If YOU would like to answer the question & have the chance to win the $250 sweepstakes – just go to this post and add your $0.02 to the comments. If you don’t care about the sweepstakes (which – if you can’t use $250 extra, I want to be friends with you) you can also join in the conversation by commenting here.