Red tape sucks. Bureaucracy sucks. Add special needs, parents, and other acronyms like IEP and AB3632 to the mix, and it’s frankly mind boggling. Perturbing. Chap burning.

Joseph’s therapist came to see Poe and I. At our house. Sans Joseph. May I repeat – HOUSE CALL. Which is exactly what she should have done. There was some miscommunication in terms of Joseph’s care – instructions that left Poe and I’s cartoon characters with little “WTF?!” over our heads. She needed to clean up the mess. I understand everything much better now. Let me correct that statement. I knew EXACTLY what was going on, and I just had it confirmed.

M.O.N.E.Y. Speaks volumes when comparing, “Of course we’ll get you in for a consult” and, “We no longer meet the standard of care for this patient.”

Standard of care my ass.

BUT. Once I usher along the people who need to take care of proper paperwork, we’ll be all set, I think. This is a good thing. Advocating works again.

This therapist doesn’t usually deal with me. She usually deals with Poe on a weekly basis. She got to be exposed to mama bear. The mama bear who knows her paperwork. It was a good thing. Most of the families she works with don’t have mama bears on the cubs’ side – so she was a little taken aback by me. On the one hand, I’m glad she was honest with me, and transparent. On the other hand, what a sad, sad statement on society that me, fighting for rights, privileges, and solid medical help for her son’s mental health is an ANOMALY. My advocating for my son is ABNORMAL.

I can see an uneducated or ignorant mother having issues communicating concerns. But “Help my son or I’ll keep coming at you until you do” is pretty much the same in any vernacular. So, me saying, “According to Joseph’s AB3632 this, this, and this service is required of you by the state of California. It has been properly documented by the Department of Mental Health. It has been cataloged in his IEP. When can we schedule it? Oh, really? Here call this, this, and this person, and then call me back. And if you don’t, I WILL call YOU.” Is the EXACT SAME THING AS “My son needs help, please help him.” SO. The fact that most of the mothers in this particular county do not say that? Floors me. So it’s not a lack of education. It’s a lack of caring. That scares me. I haven’t even gone into all of Joseph’s issues. But you know a lot of them. And a child going through that without a parent fighting for him? That crushes me. Poe told me today that when he goes in for therapy for Joseph, he’s the only parent there. In other words, getting out of the car, into the building, finding the receptionist, checking in, and then waiting for doctor to come get him. Children. Mental health care. ALONE.

I think I’m being judgmental. But I can’t help it. God knows I’m not the most maternal of mothers out there. I’m likely to kick you in the ass if you’re in trouble – not hug you. I’ll probably tell you to shut up so I can take your temperature properly. And you’ll drink those darn fluids when you’re sick if I have to plug your nose to get you to do it. Poe is the same way. But by God those kids know they’re loved (whether they like it or not), have proper clothes, supervision, shelter, education, and medical care. That includes staying with them unless they are properly in the care of another adult. NOT the receptionist. That includes making sure they get the care (and ongoing aftercare) they deserve to grow into functional, vibrant adults. That includes talking to their therapist and making sure they’re on track, and if not the next course of action. That includes taking steps to ensure that something happens if it’s not.

Ugh. Appears I hit a bit of a rant today. But when I find out that by being a proactive parent with my kids’ MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL I’m an oddity? That makes me angry on all those other kids’ behalf.