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Please help me understand

October 9, 2009 By Michele 5 Comments

So, President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

This is something that I do not understand. I really and truly don’t.

The deadline for nominations were a mere two weeks after his presidency started.

To date, while he’s had lots of meetings, nothing has been accomplished. I’m not saying it won’t be – but it hasn’t happened yet.

An imperfect analogy: It’s like a freshman going into high school… The incoming freshman has signed up for all the right AP classes, all the right curriculars, has had numerous meetings about his plans with parents, teachers and counselors. And then halfway through his freshman year, he’s named Valedictorian. It just doesn’t work.

Apparently Hope and Change without bearing the fruits can get you an international Peace Prize. What’s interesting to me is that the actual wording of the announcement uses those buzzwords. This opens up the award to all of us “common man!” They’re passing out awards just for thinking and potentially acting on great things! In addition, I’m afraid that this might diminish the contributions of those who went before him and actually accomplished what they won for.

I do not understand the obsession with this man.

Dear AOL, I Am Not a Freak

July 20, 2009 By Michele 1 Comment

*Note: Some graphic biological information ahead. And another note? I’m ticked and therefore ramble.*

Dear AOL,

I was reading what passes for your headlines today and saw your article, “Dual-Womb Mother Shocks Doctors.” I had to click. Because I have Uterine Didelphys.

Thanks a lot, AOL. You have made me look like a freak. No, I’m not the new mom from the article. I’m one of the thousands (millions?) with this “condition.” It’s a birth defect. And it’s not as uncommon as you may think.

Yes, I have two uteruses/uteri. Yes I have two cervices/cervixes. I get to have double the pap smears! Had to have a septum between the cervices removed to end pain for both myself and my husband during “relations.” I also get to have double the hormones, double the blood, double the PMS. (Don’t you want to be in my husband’s shoes now?) I’ve been hospitalized for loss of blood during a normal plain old period. Oh – and I have two children that I gave natural vaginal birth to.

It’s not as uncommon as you think. I have even run into doctors who have seen it before me. Sometimes. But you see, there are no doctors who specialize in it, and no one wants to study it. Here’s what I know about it from my various doctors visits over the years, as I’m now 34, and have known about it since I was 17.

Yes, there is some risk in pregnancy because sometimes the uteri are smaller. Not the “shocking” thing you make it out to be. And yes, you can have more than one pregnancy. I’m proof. Your hormones can also be out of wack. You can also have abnormalities in your kidneys so you need them to have an ultrasound to be sure. You also get the added benefit of potential cysts on your kidneys and/or uteri (Yep – I have several.)

And maybe if the medical community decided to study it, you’d have some more information. But they’re not interested. Instead, my crotch is a revolving door when I go to a new doctor because they’re so fascinated.

That’s right – I just said I have a fascinating cootch.

Want to know how that turns out? In labor with my first, I punched a nurse in the face and kicked a doctor in the face. Why? I had 5 doctors fascinated with my COMPLETELY NORMAL birth. Thanks for all those eyes up my privates at my most painful and most vulnerable. You know, ’cause I’m just a freak.

Let’s go over the article.

Dual-Womb Mother Shocks Doctors

So, we know they’re not very well-read.

A woman with two wombs gave birth to a healthy baby despite warnings that the chances were unlikely.

You’re not a freak, you just need to be monitored.

…was born through Caesarean section

Obviously, I don’t know the mom’s actual medical information and personal case. However, if it was JUST because of the Uterine Didelphys in an effort to “save the freak” it was a totally unnecessary medical procedure with it’s own risks. Just ask my vaginally delivered children.

…who has two sets of reproductive systems, surprises doctors and the medical world by giving birth to a healthy baby girl

Really? The medical world? Shoot – I could have been rich 9 years ago.

Doctors told her the rare condition would leave her with only a 50 percent chance of having a normal pregnancy.

Really? According to what? The medical community hasn’t studied it enough to have any numbers.

Physicians told her that although Mirela is healthy, she is likely to be the her only child.

How irresponsible!! Doom and gloom, seriously. Oh and again? I’m proof. And if we wanted more children, my body could indeed go again.

Look. That child IS a miracle. As ALL children are. And yes, I’m very glad that the mom found out about her uterine didelphys, because to be responsible about her body she’ll need extra paps, and her kidneys checked out, and that’s extremely important.

But as a “normal” mom with an “abnormal defect” in her body – I couldn’t help but feel like a total freak after reading this article.

So, thanks AOL! If nothing else, you gave me an excuse to get on my soapbox. I have been contacted by several people over the years. I once wrote a freelance article as a Layman’s Guide to Uterine Didelphys when I couldn’t find any information. And women with this condition still track me down to talk about it – even desperate enough to track down my home phone number (I talked to that mom worried that her daughter was going to DIE for an hour,) because the “medical world” can’t be bothered. You know what? That parts ok. I’m happy to help them understand that they’re going to be FINE.

Sincerely,

Michele Wilcox

P.S. – That new mom needs new doctors.

Broken

August 7, 2008 By Michele 2 Comments

I was catching up on my feeds, and came upon an entry by Dooce.  In it, she introduces a news story about a feral child.  A feral child due to neglect…  awful, awful, basic neglect.  7 years old and couldn’t speak.  Roach bites.  Only could suck a bottle.  Diapers, just stacked around.  Mattress on the floor.  Covered in insects, mites, lice, and the like.

I read the whole article:  The Girl in the Window.  Then I saw the videos/pictures/interviews.

It has effected me.  Deeply.  I hurt for this little girl so very much.  I had to go to the restroom at work because I was crying.  A child not knowing that a hug is comfort?  A 7 year old, without a medical issue (other than neglect) who sucks from a bottle and doesn’t know how to chew food?  One who doesn’t cry or flinch in pain for IV’s?

How much pain has this child had?

There’s nothing I can do.  The child has adoptive parents now who are doing everything possible for her.  But I hurt.  So, I had to write about it.

By the way, the mother criminal gave up her parental rights as a plea to avoid the 20 year sentence.  And she thinks she’s been wronged.

I know that I complain that I’m a bad mother.  And yes – I definitely get lazy about certain things.  I look at stories such as this, and think, thank God my bar is set so high.

I realize that the situation is done.  I realize there’s nothing I can do.  I know all that can be done IS being done.  But I can’t help, as a mother, to picture my own child in that situation.  And that’s when I cried.

Imagine

February 29, 2008 By Michele Leave a Comment

Imagine, if you will, that you’re the parent of a college student.  You’ve just gotten word that your child is in lockdown at their school in a classroom with a gun-wielding maniac.

Imagine, if you will, that you’re the college student.

Imagine, if you will, that you’re the teacher.

Imagine, if you will, that it was all a drill – you just didn’t get the memo.

It just happened.

These people thought they were going to die.  Apparently, it’s all ok since it didn’t really happen.  BS.  These people now have to get over genuinely thinking they were going to die in that moment.

At the very least two things should have occurred that didn’t:  There should have been a sit down with the teacher, not an email (he didn’t get the email.)  And there should have been a broadcast on their emergency PA system 5-10 minutes prior.  Oh, and the text alerts they were using?  Voluntary.  Only about half the students signed up.

Someone was hit with the stupid stick that day.

Wife. Mother. Daughter. Business owner. Please send coffee.

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