I’m skipping the last Blissdom session as I’m in thought.  And when I’m in thought, I get distracted.  I wouldn’t get anything from the session anyway.

The good news…  I found out that a famous-to-me blogger reads me.  And that she might be willing to hire me.  Perhaps.  Maybe.  If we work something out – AND she wants me to guest post.  Because she likes my voice.  I’m not linking her because it’s not a done deal, and I don’t want to put words in her mouth – or pressure on her.  But this is HUGE for me.  1) Someone who in my opinion is a success reads me.  Sorry, but that gives me validation.  2)  Potential new client woot!  So…  networking works.

But the bad news…  I’m in a blogging identity crises.  There was a branding session.  After the session I asked a couple of gals who I trust and respect, and who know both my blog and other writing, what do THEY think when they go to my blog (in terms of branding and if it is correctly reflective of me and my voice.)  I’m not going to link the ladies –  I don’t want to put words in their mouth – and I’m not calling them out.  I asked them both ’cause I respect them and I admire what they’ve accomplished.  And they tell it like it is.

One said that I am not like my blog.  That in person I’m bubbly and happy, and trustworthy.  But they feel like my blog feels very critical (not that I’M critical of anyone, but the general feel I think).  Another long time bloggy friend that knows me chimed in that it reminded her of a teenager’s poetry diary grown up.  The other I asked said they would lose the cartoon girl.

They both put me in a quandry in different ways.

In terms of the angsty angle (content wise) – I’ve decided to own that.  I’ve only ever written my thoughts and my life.  I truly don’t necessarily like that I come across as that way.  But perhaps the dichotomy of that perception, and my in person perception are parts to a whole.  I can accept that, and I can own that.  But what I DO NOT want is for anyone to think I’m hyper critical of them.  Ever.  Life is hard enough.  We may disagree on some issues – but I’m not going to call anyone out or criticize them on my blog unless they do something to me or mine.  So don’t do anything to me or mine.

I think part of her perception, however, might come from the graphic on my site, which leads me to the other problem.  The suggestion that I remove the cartoon girl!  Oy!  I paid money for the girl.  I have no graphic talent, unfortunately.  So I have to pay other people.  But I have definitely toyed with the idea of a bit more sophistication.  However.  That girl is EVERYWHERE…  It’s my avatar on all the social networks!  I do not have a good picture of myself to replace it with, and don’t know how to take a good photo.  Just not a talent of mine (which irks as a blogger, let me tell you.)  And everyone knows the cartoon girl.  “OMG I KNOW YOU AND YOU’RE NOT A CARTOON!”  Which is brand recognition.

Which brings me to my quandry…  Would different graphics help match my true voice?

I’ve noticed a couple people are commenting more.  Please – help me out readers…  weigh in.  Does the feeling of my “online living room” actually match the content I’m putting out there?  Or would you go with a more sophisticated graphics ensemble?  Does it match my voice, or would something smoother, softer, brighter, brasher, more low key (I could go on) match the writing?  Even better if you’ve met me.  PLEASE weigh in.

Sparks and Butterflies isn’t going anywhere.  Sparks and Butterflies is me for very personal reasons.  But perhaps I’ve grown out of the angst?  Weigh in – comment away.