So, I’ve had to put

So, I’ve had to put off my personal drama about Jeannette in order to focus once again on Joseph. He is having such a terribly difficult time. He seems to cycle between good and bad weeks, and lately we’re in the bad weeks. Yesterday, he informed a teacher that he wanted to kill himself. She asked him how (?!) and he explained, very matter-of-factly that his friend Jack’s parents had a real gun, and he was going to bring it to school tomorrow (today) so Joseph could shoot himself in the head. Yeah, that’s what I thought too. So, I took the day off work today. I spent 45 minutes on the phone with his psychiatrist (I can’t believe I just typed that sentence. He’s 5.) and he said he wasn’t too worried about what he said, as he doesn’t get that concept until about 7 years of age. He was more concerned about the other child bringing the gun. As was I. Spent another two hours in the office with the principal and the school psychologist. We’re going to be looking into Asperger’s Syndrome with the other potential diagnoses we’re looking into. Joseph’s also getting a 6th grade mentor to help with his homework so he’s not doing it so late at night after school, since the daycare won’t help him with it. They (the principal) also wanted me to take Joseph straight to his classroom and wait for the class there, since he’s such a problem on the playground. I had a few issues with that, which I voiced. 1. I would then be late everyday to work – I need to keep my job in order to pay for the psychiatric care. 2. He thinks everyone hates him, and this just propagates that. 3. Excuse me, isn’t the school supposed to be supervising him, and the district trying to find a solution instead? The psychologist agreed with me, and not the principal, so they’re going to be brainstorming today about another possible solution to his misbehavior in line, and call me today. The more I look at Asperger’s the more it seems to make sense. I called and left a message for the psychiatrist, in order to see if that might be the possibility, and test (how?) for that as well. We’re also still waiting on the cat scan. I threw out my back, my head feels like it’s gonna implode, and I just don’t know how to be a good mother at this point. The one bright spot in all of this?? Asperger’s doesn’t require medication, but occupational therapy, which would mean getting back into the good graces of the in-laws. Isn’t that sad?