Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Comment Question 1

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Remember how I put out a call for questions?

That’s still open by the way.  Please feel free to ask anything you like.

The first question came from Darla.

You were given up at birth? I was given up at birth and then have lots of abandonment “experiences” following that as well. Hmmm…..Share more….

Does this still affect how you live? Cuz for me, until about 3 mos ago, it had a TIGHT hold on me (abandonment issues that is).

You can read more in the Adoption/Abandonment category, or the That Woman category.  I went through a lot of emotional turmoil, and those categories have some more of the nitty gritty.

In answering your question though, here are the basics.

I wasn’t given up at birth.  In fact, I wasn’t officially given up at all.  My birthmother, Jeannette, had me when she was 20.  She’d had a daughter previously at the age of 16, which was the result of some kind of counselor affair at a juvenile facility, and she gave that child up for adoption at birth.  Four years later, she had me at 20.

Follow the jump for more ’cause it’s kind of long and meandering and hard to go there. Continue Reading

pondering

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Do you ever wonder about your existence?  Your purpose?  Or on the other hand know, deep down, your purpose, and feel utterly helpless to accomplish it?

That’s where I’m at.  Feeling helpless to accomplishing my purpose.  My goal in life.  My calling.  I can see it.  I know what it is.  And yet, I cannot seem to attain it, or attain the path to it.

I think the answer, at least in my case, is patience.  And that is a lifeskill that I never learned.  That is so frustrating, and quite possibly my worst character flaw.  I also have no idea how to correct it.

Instead, I sit here floundering.  Floundering in a sea of impatience?

Worse yet – before I truly knew my calling, I was content.  Now, I am not.  And that is another flaw…  Because if I cannot be content where I’m at, am I truly living my life?  Am I allowing it to pass me by?

The longing is real, and yet, how do I move past it, when there is nothing that can be done for now?

I’m a doer not a coaster…

There’s no real answer here.  I’m just getting it out of my head.

A meme? For me?

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In all the years I’ve been doing this, I’ve never been tagged for a meme.  Can you believe it?

However – I’ve been tagged.  By Awalkabout.

Five Things Found in My Bag:

  1. Wallet
  2. Sunglass case
  3. Work ID
  4. Cell phone
  5. Bag with assorted sundries such as lip balm.  You know, and a spare tampon.  And maybe some kleenex.

Five Favorite Things in Your Room:

I’m assuming my bedroom?

  1. The best photo I’ve ever taken of my husband, framed.
  2. The poem he wrote and framed for our 10th anniversary.
  3. My hope chest – which holds things like the boys baby blankets and such.  Sentimental stuff, and the chest itself is beautiful.
  4. Betsy (my pink laptop.  She deserves a name.  Shhhhh)
  5. My mother’s bedroom furniture.  Sounds strange, I know, but when we moved, she didn’t have room for it, and we did.  I don’t know that they always had it, but they certainly had it for as long as I was around, and I love that I have my mother’s things furnishing my home.

Five Things You Have Always Wanted to Do:

  1. Actually be my goal weight.
  2. Actually be a yoga devotee.  I just can’t seem to get into it.  Maybe I’m doing it wrong.
  3. Be an actress.
  4. Be a stay at home mom.
  5. Write a book.  Not necessarily a novel.

Five Things You are Currently Into:

  1. World of Warcraft
  2. Bible Study (although some would say they are exclusive, they are not.)
  3. Home renovation and decor
  4. Blogging
  5. Coming home plans (debt reduction, at home job search, etc.)

Five people I’d like to tag (let me know if you do): Not sure any of them read me back (well – except for Sylvie), or have any interest in memeing…  But, Domestic Felicity, Home Sanctuary, The Sparrow’s Nest, and Sylvie’s Place.

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