Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

The Stuggle to Keep On

By 2 Comments

The basic why is I’m struggling.  Greatly.  I want to be home, I need to be home, and I think God wants me home.  But I’m not home.  And so I’ve been struggling – emotionally, spiritually, and practically with that fact.

I’ve never been one to wait things out.  I’ve no patience.  Once a decision is made, I can never seem to understand, “Now isn’t the time, ” or “Wait,” or “in the future.”  I’ve made a decision, so why can’t I follow through?

It’s made it very very difficult to go to work every day.  I’m physically exhausted.  Nothing seems to be getting done anywhere!  At work, at home, or my online activities.  I’m failing at everything.  And since this is what’s rolling through my head on a near constant basis – I haven’t been writing, because who wants to hear that over and over and over again?

I feel that BlogHer is going to be a turning point for me.  I don’t know why.  It’s a conference.  A conference of, you know, the coolest people ever, but it’s still a conference – a series of meetings – so I don’t know what I think will happen.  Perhaps I just need the rest from my daily life?  Maybe that’ll give me perspective?

I honestly don’t have the answer, so I’m just trying to hang on while everything seems to crumble around me.  It’s a mental crumble – but a crumble just the same.  I’m trying to remind myself that my children are (relatively) healthy, my marriage is healthy, so everything’s good.

Right?

Out of ICU

By 1 Comment

Well, my mother is out of ICU.  She’s not out of danger, and she’s not getting better, but she’s no longer getting worse.

Posting is likely to still be light, as I get all my ducks in a row, and get back on my feet with everything that went by the wayside.  Stay tuned.

Conversations with an 8 Year Old

By 2 Comments

Joseph (after bath):  When can I sleep naked in my own bed?

Poe: dear caught in headlights

Poe: Jeopardy theme music plays

Poe: lightbulb appears over head

Poe: You can sleep naked in your own bed if and when you feel comfortable running into the street naked if there’s a fire.

silence

Joseph: Oh.

Update on the Tum Tum, er, Stomach

By Leave a Comment

I went to the doctor for my three month follow up visit.

The meds are working to control things = good.

The meds if forgotten means noticeable symptoms = bad.

I’ve had a fever for every single appointment = bad.

So, basically, I’ve been living with a low grade fever for 6 months (unknown cause).  The medications are doing their job, but not fixing things.  He thinks that I might have a bacterial infection in my stomach causing all of this, however, I tested negative for the H. Pylori.  He said that there are others, so it still may be a factor.  I’m starting up two really strong antibiotics at the same time for two weeks, and keeping my other meds the same.  Another three month follow up.  If at that time nothing’s changed, and there’s a noticeable difference when I forget my meds, then it’s another endoscopy for me to see if the hernia and ulcers have gotten bigger.

However the whole fever thing?  May indeed be why I hit a wall at 2pm and could easily go to bed at that time.  I basically forcing myself to get through the rest of the day and evening with my family.

Recent Comments