But aside from that, she's still completely normal
The evidence that Logan, is indeed, a pain in the neck. I took this yesterday morning, while it was still dark. The flash didn’t make him even stir. That, right there, is MY side of the bed. The pillow on the floor to the side is mine. It goes, you know, where his feet are. Clearly, at some point, this was preferable to his own bed.
If you are going to BlogHer, and want to meetup at some point – or at least just meet – send me an email at sparksfley at gmail dot com. We’ll exchange numbers.
And here’s just a roundup of the places you can see my updates while I’m at the conference. I do, indeed, plan on taking my laptop – but I’ve never taken my laptop outside of the house (Betsy is a virgin) so, we’ll see how this goes:
I have various other addresses and social addictions – but those above are the ones I’ll probably be using.
I hate it. Change. I’m terrible at it.
At the same time, if a decision is made, I want it done. I don’t want little steps. I don’t want the transition. I just want it done.
I’m lucky. I have this man, Poe, my husband… When I say I want to do something he always backs me up 100%. I know a lot of people don’t have that.
But I also know that now is not the right time. I don’t have the necessary steps in place. To make the changes now would be incredibly immature, just because I want it done. Sucks to be a grownup.
I feel as though I’m on this huge precipice. All around me is sky and horizon. All I have to do is jump. But I have to wait for the sign – the sign that says, “Now. Now you jump.”
I just hope that I recognize the voice.
I don’t really want to go all heavy right now, with BlogHer prep and anticipation at it’s peak. ‘Cause it is for me too! I’m excited, and anxious, and anticipatory – and quite frankly need to get away.
But.
But. I’m waiting. You see, in a few days we’ll find out what, if anything, is causing my mother to jerk uncontrollably. She had two tests, a cat scan/MRI, and an EEG. We’re waiting on those results. In the first, the tech asked her, while he was scanning her, “And does your doctor think you have a brain tumor?” And during the EEG, “I don’t like the looks of this.”
And so we wait.
I’ve talked to Poe. Whatever the results are, I’m going to BlogHer. Good? Great I’ll get the break I need. Bad? I’ll need the last harrah for myself.
I realize it seems morbid. But when you’re part of the sandwich generation – you have to think morbid. My mother has almost died 4 times in the last two years, and in the midst of that, two years ago, my biological mother died. 3 years ago, my brother committed suicide. These are the facts of life folks – death is a fact of life. I live next door to my two elderly parents. I wait to find out if one of them is dying.
If she is – there are going to be big changes around here. Like I said, I’ve already talked to Poe – and we have some plans in place in the case that she’s terminal. If she’s not, huzzah and we move on with our life as it was. If not? Well, I’ve got a whole family, including an 8 year old, and 6 year old, who see grandma everyday, and it’s my role as daughter, wife, and mother, to see them through it.
So – I wait.
I just needed to get this out.
So – I wrote a post, my BlogHer Disclaimer, telling you all about my “quirks.”
So far, it’s my most popular post to date. I have never gotten so many comments on one post before.
I don’t know if you all found me somewhere – not seeing a new link, nor am I seeing my post as featured on BlogHer – let me know?
But, what’s happened is, people are posting their OWN disclaimers – and I just think that’s so cool. So I thought I’d point you back there, and tell you to read the comments.
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