Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Encouraging

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I recently left a comment on someone’s post – about feminism no less – which I’m not linking as I’ll just get comments on that person’s post, which totally isn’t the point.  The point is – All of a sudden I was leaving a ranty comment about how I’m a failure at this WAHM mom stuff, and nothing’s getting done, and I’m busy all day and totally exhausted, and yet you can’t see that I’ve done a thing.  Not one of my most stellar moments.  However, I noticed that most the comments after were partially towards the poster’s entry, and then they would turn to me.  There they were encouraging me on someone else’s blog.  And you know what?  It helped.  It really really helped.

In other news, I may have just landed my first client for Vineyard Virtual Services.  Contracts haven’t been signed yet – but WAHOO!

Pressure

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I could tell you about how my 6 year old called me fat, but I’d rather not delve into it, thanks.

I could tell you what doing your Christmas shopping does to your living room, but I simply don’t want to think about it.

I could tell you about how I’ve just realized that my business has to take off or we’re not going to make it, but my blood pressure just rose.

I could tell you about how since I’ve not decorated since we won’t be here, my holiday spirit has been zapped to zero.  Zilch.  But that’s so depressing.

Instead, I’ll tell you about colds.  I have one just trying to pop up.  My youngest is fighting one off – in fact I’m waiting to wake him up and see if he’s going to school today.  This normally wouldn’t be a big deal.  Everyone gets colds, and we’re not a terribly sicky family.  However.  I’ve mentioned that we’re going to the in-laws for Christmas.  What I haven’t mentioned is that my fil barricades himself in his office and won’t come out if someone is sick.  What I haven’t mentioned is that when my kids are sick around the in-laws, I receive books about how to cook with the proper nutrition.  Not to mention there will be other cousins the same age, and you know how the cold spreads like the plague – I don’t want them getting sick too.  And the 6 hour drive with sick children?  No thank you.  Please dip me in hot oil instead.

COUNTDOWN.  We need to all be well.  Period.  Full stop.  There is no other option.  I simply don’t want to deal with any other possibility.

Amalgam

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A couple of things to say today…

First and most urgent, a PSA to our illustrious fire department.  While I truly do appreciate all that you, and I understand the needs of control burns, it would behoove you to warn the residents in the area.  Let me say that differently:  If you’re going to do a burn across the street from me tell me first. I was so panicked I thought I had to evacuate and called my husband home from work.  Yes, it was that close.  I don’t panick easilly – I live in earthquake country, and we have a fire season, I’m an old Pro at this.  How hard is it to leave a flyer in a mailbox or something?

***

I went to my former employer’s Christmas party last night.  I had been invited before I left, and while I didn’t feel like it, I went.  First, the host was the best host I’ve ever seen.  Relaxed, great food, and he seemed really appreciative that we were having a good time.  I’ll be sending him a thank you note today.  His home was beautiful, and his partner was making an effort to be just as welcoming.  Oh, and great dogs.  The huge golden retriever who thinks she’s a lapdog/Oh goodness you’re so exciting I’m going to sweep everything right off the coffee table with my tail kind.  There were some awkward moments for me.  I’m in the unique position of knowing about the whole job without doing it anymore, and therefore people were telling me things that I don’t need to know.  Multiple people.  I guess they felt safe about it is all.  All in all a good time, and not as crazy and out of control as last year.

***

So, I’m sitting outside the Christmas party last night chatting with some former co-workers, and one of them, S., says “Hey I read your blog!”  And at that moment the world stopped on it’s axis, and the sound of a record player needle scratched in my head.  Luckilly, I’ve never really written about my job except in the very vaguest of terms, but still.  She was very complimentary, but it’s the first time a non-blogger has said that to me.  So, um…  Hi S.!  I have no clue who told her about it, and she was – er – backpeddaling her way out of that one, so for all I know, everyone in the department’s reading me.  Hi everyone!  Every one of you is perfect in every way!  Er…  Really!

Channeling a Teenager

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Yesterday morning, I was admonishing Logan to Hop To!  Get those teeth brushed!  Get that face washed!

“Moooom.  Sometimes I wait a little bit to stretch.”

Which would have been cute.  Except lately he’s channeling a 13 year old girl in everything he says.  It’s not WHAT he says.  What he says is all fine and appropriate to the conversation and not disrespectful.  It’s the tone.  Every thing he says is punctuated and you can see, “Like, Gah! mom.  Eyeroll” in a cartoon bubble over his head.

He’s six.

Impressions on Being Home

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So, I’ve been home a couple weeks now.  Three?  I don’t know, the days go by so fast.

The first thing that comes to mind is, I’m exhausted.  I was exhausted before.  But this time, I’m not stressed out too, so that’s good.  I am going to bed earlier and earlier.  My work day ends after cleaning up dinner.  And I’m just wiped.

I’m having trouble with timing.  There are things I want to do online, with the house, and with my business, and I’m having real trouble putting it all together.  Just when I get into a groove – Stop!  Have to pick up a kid.  Another groove – Stop!  Have to pick up the other kid.  Believe it or not, I’m going to be putting together a spreadsheet today in 15 minute increments, and placing blocks of time of doing certain things.  It sounds anal, but I really need to get some kind of plan in place.

But the height of excitement came when I went to Target.  At 11am.  On a weekday.  It Was Awesome.

The house is still a mess, but the dishes are always done and the laundry is on a schedule and caught up, so I really have made progress.  I used to have to do laundry all day long on the weekends, and even then it usually stayed in the baskets with me rummaging around in them to find the kids’ clothes, and mine.  And then Sunday I would spend doing all the dishes we used in a week.

It’s been a pretty big transition.  But it’s ok.  Our budget needs some more tweaking.  But I’m working on it.

That’s where my head’s at these days.

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