Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Annnnd we’re back

By Leave a Comment

At first? I just was on a hiatus to deal with family issues I’ll go into on another post. And then? My site got hacked. Someone decided that my site would be a great vehicle to install malware on others’ computers. And I tried to fix it. I went back and forth with my server provider. I fixed. And then it came back. I fixed. And then it came back a couple days later. I think that happened 4 times. Finally I had to hire someone to fix it. And they had to hire someone. Ultimately, it took months to fix.

BUT IT’S FIXED. Finally. So hopefully… I’m back.

What the Summer Looked Like to me

By 1 Comment

This summer was probably the roughest one I’ve ever had.

ever.

Now that I’m starting to be able to breathe, I wanted to take a look back, and list what happened. One, to reassure myself that yes – there was a reason I went into turtle mode. And two, to reassure myself that yes – I lived.

Positives from this summer:

  • We have two new cats… Sort of. A mom and her babies adopted three homes on the block – including us. A neighbor trapped them and got them spayed/neutered (I always mix up which is which) and vaccinated. Three of the babies were able to be socialized and adopted, but momma and one baby was released. We feed/water them, and give them a little house for shelter should they need it. Our indoor cats? Several times a day let us know that THERE IS AN INVASION. ALERT!! ALERT!! ALERT!! You’d think they’d be used to seeing them. But no. By the way, we named momma, Tink. Her black baby is Smudge.
  • The kids got to visit their grandparents up north.
  • There were Popsicles.
  • I fixed the air conditioner all by myself.
  • Put pink stripes in my hair. Needed the boost of pink (see below).

The negatives from this summer:

  • Joseph lost his psychologist who really “got” him – and that he trusted. (She moved due to her husband’s job.) **
  • Joseph got a new psychologist. I think she’ll be all right – haven’t seen her in a crisis yet, which will be the real test. But we have to start all.over.**
  • Joseph lost his psychiatrist. And I have no idea why. I just got a letter in the mail one day saying that he had left the practice three days prior – 4 days before our next appointment and in need of medication refills. I don’t know what happened – and I really really really liked him. He made himself accessible with his personal cell phone. He listened to our parents’ intuition. He trusted our instincts and learned we were intelligent.**
  • Note ensuing fight to make sure Joseph got his meds in the meantime.
  • Joseph got a new psychiatrist. I don’t know about this one. I mean seriously. Vanilla as they come. Asking the wrong questions. Don’t know if he even LOOKED at Joseph’s chart before our first appointment. However – It should be noted that I called him yesterday regarding a medicine change. I was called back within two hours. He listened to my reasoning, thought it was sound, and approved the change. So – there’s hope.**
  • Had to replace all 4 tires on our truck. Ka-ching.
  • Joseph was injured in summer school. He fell on his shoulder and elbow, and bruised the bone. The good news? He also pinched a nerve so he went numb and therefore didn’t feel the mother of all funny bone injuries. He was in a sling and no PE for a week. Not. Happy.**
  • My mother died. I already wrote a post about her death. I’m not sure I’ve dealt with it, so it’ll probably come back up in a year in the form of needing therapy for another two years and another ulcer cropping up. I’ve been too busy helping every.freaking.one.else “deal with their grief.” I don’t think anyone gets it was MY MOTHER.**
  • I had to handle all the details of her death. However, it was easier than it might have been. I had forced decisions on them when I saw the writing on the wall, so it was a matter of making it all happen – and being the clear-headed one so all the legalities were taken care of.
  • As a result of all of the above, Joseph got kicked out of summer school. Mutual decision – it wasn’t doing him any good.**
  • Some nuts and assholes came out of the woodwork after mom’s death. To the point of me having to be hyper-cautious of what I say on Facebook, which is a shame.
  • I’ve become my dad’s best friend. Sounds like a positive. In reality, somehow got another kid. I had to stop him yesterday and say, “Stop talking. Listen to the words coming out of my mouth.” I’ve only ever done that with Logan.
  • My aunt died. 6 weeks to the day after mom. In another state. Naming my father and me executors to her “estate” (there is no estate). He owns the house, she rented from him. It is the estate that never ends. We’re going in a couple of weeks to finally close out the house completely. Her friends descended like locusts. They even took my uncle’s military decorations. He was a WWII veteran, 20 years after his death my aunt was still living off his military pension – there were lots of decorations. So.Wrong. There was lots of SHE WANTED ME TO HAVE THIS. There were some specific things named in the will that a specific friend was to have. So dad gathered it together. Some of it was furniture so she had someone bring a truck. Dad left to get something to eat, and when he returned, she had taken half the house. There are some things like photographs I asked him to make sure we got. There are some things he wants to make sure I get because we need them, such as a larger bed for Joseph. The locusts kept coming. He finally called me, “What do I do?? I’m so overwhelmed!” I told him to lock the door. Come home. We’re seeing an attorney – and that’s how I became the go-to person in all things “Aunt Maya” including yelling at bill collectors because SHE IS DEAD. THERE IS NO MONEY. Take me to court, bitch. Watch what happens. Right about now, I could use a good fight.
  • There’s still a lot of stuff that needs to happen. My dad wants to change his trust. We’re still finishing up with my aunt’s house. And Oh God, taxes are going to be a nightmare this year.
  • The kids started school, which comes with its own brand of crazy known by parents around the world.**

**Note: Kids with special needs often don’t react well to change. I’ve got two of ’em.

And somehow through it all – everyone is fed, the house is (semi/non-pigsty) clean, and I worked – even grew – my business.

But I am so.damn.tired.

and i miss my mommy.

My Mom Died Last Night

By 1 Comment

Harsh title huh. I’ve been working on the post ever since it happened, because it’s a hard post to write. It’s now 2 1/2 weeks later, so maybe I can get it all the way out.

I’ve been saying it over and over and over again as I’ve made calls on my dad’s behalf.

If details of a death would alarm or offend you, don’t read on. I’m going to go through it though. I’m not sure I want to remember it, per se, but I believe one’s leaving this world is just as important as one’s arriving into it.

Continue Reading

A Joke from my Dad

By 1 Comment

My dad is 79. He tends to email me every freakin’ joke (minus the boobs ’cause I’ll yell at him) that ends up in his email that his other 79 year old friends email him (from their friends and their friends and their friends, oy). This one tickled me though:

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could put one over on them easily.

So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun… “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you
ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says.

This catches the senior’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?”

The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and come down with four?”

The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he could find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer is now going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, “Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with
four?”

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Help Me Understand Obamacare

By 4 Comments

I need your help in understanding what Obamacare would mean for my family. Please note: I am NOT looking for political opinions. They abound, and I have my own. I’m actually looking for what this literally, practically, logistically means for my family.

Here’s our current situation. My husband’s income (not including my own which fluctuates dramatically) is about $475/week. My husband’s employer provides insurance. At about $350/week (yes WEEK not MONTH). Without telling you our actual expenses, but you can be assured that they are the same things that others pay… Rent, car insurance, utilities, food, gas, student loans, etc. We are frugal. Our truck is paid for (and 20 years old). We no longer use our credit cards, but we’re still paying one off. I coupon, use online deals, etc. Most of my clothes have holes in them, because I pay for clothes for my kids (with coupons) since they really are weeds in human disguise. In other words… We’re careful, methodical, and thoughtful with our money.

Income Approximate (as mine varies) per month: $3,500
Expenses:-$3,300
Remaining: $200 – currently put towards “extras” or extra debt, and when the debt is gone it’ll go into savings.

If we bought my husband’s employer’s insurance:
Income Approximate (as mine varies) per month: $3,500
Expenses:-$3,300
Insurance: -$1,400
Remaining: -$1,200

The math doesn’t work – needless to say, we can’t purchase my husband’s health insurance.

My kids, however, have serious medical and mental health issues. Aside from the annual/semi-annual dentist and pediatrician visit, one of my kids has an annual echocardiogram (about $1,500 a year), an electrocardiogram (about $500 a year), one of my kids has a monthly psychiatrist appointment (about $1,800 a year), and his meds ($900/month). So our medical costs NOT including regular well-child visits, OR sick kid visits, is $1,217/mo, $14,600/year. With the well child visits, vaccinations, and when they get sick, it’s obviously more. As a result, we use state subsidized medical insurance for the kids only. I do pay a premium for them, but it’s prorated based on our income. My husband and I haven’t seen a doctor, dentist, or ophthalmologist (I wear glasses), in about 4 years. We would go to the emergency room if we have to for something like a broken bone, or stitches, etc – but thank God we haven’t had to yet. It would probably bankrupt us. For everything else? We suffer. I’ve tried free clinics in our area, but it’s a first come/first served kind of thing to get an appointment, and I’ve yet to actually be able to talk to a real person to try and get an appointment. I kind of need to see a gynecologist desperately.

So. My understanding of Obamacare is… You are required to have health insurance. If you don’t, you pay taxes as a penalty. If you don’t have health insurance, you can use the government health insurance (which doesn’t exist yet). So my question is… Since it doesn’t exist, when do we start getting penalized? How much will the government health insurance cost? What will this (and when) look like for my family?

Again – I’m not looking for political opinions here. I’m looking for what this means, as it stands now, for my family. When I’ve looked into it, I’ve gotten totally confused. Does someone have a website that breaks it down into “real life” for you?

Recent Comments