Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Life and Those Living It

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Life is kicking me in the behind right now.

I have a new client, and that’s a great thing, because it means I’m bringing in a small amount of money. And also? Time consuming. That’s been taking up a portion of my brain activity.

We’re still working on the house and various reconstruction. That chaos is taking up a portion of my brain activity. And time.

Logan is going into reader intervention. Brain activity consumed.

Joseph is struggling more than ever and I’m considering homeschooling. SEVERE BRAIN ACTIVITY CONSUMED.

I’m just… Overwhelmed. Consumed. Fed up. Trying to keep my head above water before I drown.

And to top it all off, I can’t attend Blissdom. The money simply isn’t there, and I just don’t see it coming in. This really disappoints me. I write for Blissfully Domestic! I’m part of the One2One Network! I also enjoy it a lot more than BlogHer because it’s a bit more intimate. The only way to make it would be if they wanted me to speak or a sponsorship came through. But I’m too busy hustling my business and surviving our lives right now – I don’t even know how to go about finding a sponsorship. And unless it was a panel on virtual assistance or special needs or just blogging longevity, then I’m out. I’m not a marketing expert. I’m not, well, anything really except here. Present!

I configure beautiful blog posts in my head. And then promptly forget them 3 minutes later.

I’ve GOT to start writing that stuff down, so I can stop writing entries like these.

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

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I could talk about how my school district wants to bus my kid out to another district ’cause they can’t handle him. Too frustrating, raw, and in flux.

Could talk about Poe’s continued unemployment. But really? Haven’t you heard that one before?

Could talk about certain theories about 2012, Israel peace treaties, 7 horses, and survival… But you’d think I was a true nutcase.

Could tell you about how my father drunkdialed me last night.

Instead, I’ll tell you this. I’m 34 years old and I’m going to be adopted.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to be legitimate.

Back when I was 4, and Jeannette abandoned me, my parents couldn’t adopt me because of a combo of Jeannette saying no, and my mother’s health. All this time, I’ve been legally their great-niece. They (and I) treat me as, and consider me as their daughter. All the good and bad that entails. My children are their grandkids. They are, “mom,” “dad,” “papa,” and, “grandma.” Period.

This has not gone well with the rest of the family. Even though it’s been 30 years. Lots of, “well it’s not like she’s your REAL daughter.” “It’s not like she’s blood.” (Actually, I am blood – so I never understood that one.) Or from my deceased “brother” (mom’s son who died about 4 years ago.) “Hi, this is Michele. My mom raised her.” That was his way of introducing me. I mean, OK – even if he didn’t want to introduce me as his sister, fine! He could have said cousin – that was indeed what we were legally!

My other “brothers” – dad’s kids – can’t stand that they treat me like a daughter – and not only a daughter, the favorite baby. Really, they only have themselves to blame for that, but they would never believe that in a million years. It’s all my fault. For existing.

Anyway. For a bunch of reasons, from inheritance legalities, to end of life medical decisions, to probably future legal fights with other relatives, we have decided to adopt me.

Nothing will change except the wording on their legal documents, and I’ll be issued another birth certificate. But it will greatly ease some of my fears about their late life. I do not wish to fight with my “brothers” about my parents being on or off life support when I fully know their wishes, and they haven’t bothered to speak to them, just because they’re the “legal” next of kin. I have no wish to fight over the money in their estate, when I know darn well who to call (I can bet you a large sum of money that they haven’t a clue who my parents’ legal representation is. I however send the woman a Christmas card every year.) I don’t wish to fight with them over the charitable contributions that my parents wish made upon their death. I have no wish to fight with them over the property my parents own, which I know what they want done with. I’m am positive that they don’t know my parents wishes. I do. And I don’t want legal hurdles put in my way when that time comes. Everything will be difficult enough to process while grieving without their pettiness coming into play.

Bottom line? My getting adopted will protect my parents wishes, and make me legally capable of pursuing those wishes on their behalf.

All morbidity and callous practicalities aside, we’ll be correcting an error that should have been corrected when I was 18. We just didn’t realize it could be.

The 10 month interlude has begun

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School has started. This is where I get 10 months of daytime solitude. You know… When Poe gets a job that is.

School started two days late due to the Station Fire. The air quality around our little town is much better today – although this morning the smoke smell was still rich. But the sky is blue. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen blue.

So far the fire is 150,000+ acres. The perimeter is 50 miles. About the size of Chicago. As of 9am this morning we were at 42% containment. They expect containment by 9/15. It is the largest Los Angeles County or Angeles National Forest fire ever in their histories. It is suspected arson. Homicide charges are also being investigated, due to the two firefighters, Captain Ted Hall and Fire
Fighter Specialist Arnie Quinones, who lost their lives. While neither worked here anymore – both of them used to work in our town. So very sad. Despite the good news of higher humidity and the containment percentages, this comes from my town’s website (now that it’s left our personal area we’re updated twice a day instead of hourly:)

Overall, growth potential for the Station Fire continues to be extreme. The fire is progressing south toward Pasadena; west toward the Yerba Buena Ridge; north toward the 14 Freeway and Santa Clara Ridge; east toward Mt. Wilson and into the San Gabriel Wilderness. The fire is in extremely steep and inaccessible terrain, burning in 40+ year old 15-20 foot high decadent vegetation. Fire is active during the day and night operational periods, and is currently directly threatening Mount Wilson, which is a major communications facility servicing all of Southern California.

So, if you stop hearing about it – or they say it’s all good – it’s not. In addition, today begins a review process while the experts come in and figure out what our mudslide and flooding issues are going to be. They’ll also be letting the individual homeowners know as well in an advisory capacity and assisting our town in preventative measures. The brush in our area hadn’t burned in 40-60 years. We’re a foothill community. When the rains come, regardless of the precautions, we’re all going to hold our breaths.

UPDATED: Local Media Failed Me in the Station Fire

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I’ve updated some information below.
***

For those that know me, a short personal update. We’re OK. My mother is holding her own in terms of the smoke, although it’s really really bad today and this might be the day that takes her to the hospital. We’re out of danger of embers now. We’ll have a massive cleanup of our property to undertake, but not only can we not work outside in these conditions, the fire’s been so unpredictable, I’m hesitating on doing the work until we know it’s out ashes are falling like snow again. We keep alternating between clear skies or ash depending on the breeze. Our air quality is currently Hazardous (as opposed to just unhealthy.) I’ll know by 3pm if the school district will start school tomorrow as previously scheduled. School was indeed canceled. And is canceled again today. And I’m waiting to see about tomorrow.

Now. This fire is the Station Fire. It started above La Canada on Wednesday, around 3:30pm. That means that we’re into day 5 Day 7 of this thing. In fact, the kid’s were in their pool on Wednesday, as I wasn’t sure if air quality from the Azuza fire would hamper it for the rest of the week. As we were sitting there a rather large helicopter buzzed us really low, so I took a look. Shit, a column. If you live in southern California, you know what I meant.

Since then, our mountain has been decimated. Homes threatened in our town. Ashes the size of my pinky in whole leaf form. We watched the fire literally eat the mountain alive. It’s, well, gone. Haunts I hung out it in growing up, gone. Friends, and friends’ families evacuated to my alma mater. JPL closed. My yard glowed bright red. Explosions as transformers heated too much. Threats of losing all communications as it threatened Mt. Wilson yesterday. Those threats are still a factor. Last night, it hadn’t quite been over run, but I haven’t heard an update. I also have gotten conflicting messages on what that would mean to us, besides the loss of the observatory and scientific items. Is it just TV? Is it just broadcast TV? Or is it everything communication wise? I just don’t know.

It seems that after the firefighters fought for 5 7 days, 6 nights, the portion above La Canada seems out. Perhaps. It’s been unpredictable, so I’m willing to say “seems.” However, the fire is most certainly not done. In fact at no point was it over 5% containment. It went from 10 acres to 20,000 105,000+ acres and now spreads through the city limits of 6 cities that I know of. 6 CITIES. It now threatens more, but I’m not sure I’m getting an accurate count. Acton and Soledad Canyon? Same fire. Altadena? Same fire.

Where have I gotten my information? I’ll tell you where. FACEBOOK. Going up to the hospital (a high point in the city) and then telling others what I saw. My city’s website too – but their hourly updates were usually closer to the next hour, and while reliable in information, usually out of date by the time posted. Evacuees were contacted via reverse 911. Did you notice something missing?

In my opinion, one of the reasons for media to exist is to inform the public in times of crisis. I don’t expect crisis management from national news media, but you bet your ass I expect if from the local media. I want to know specifically who’s being evacuated. Streets and street numbers. I want acreage. I want to know how the firemen are doing. I want to know where the animals go. I want to know the predicted outlook. And then I want that information constantly updated and constantly referred to. BECAUSE I’M LIVING IN THE MIDST OF THAT CRISIS. It’s the local media’s duty, in my opinion, not to fan fear, but to give real information, so that people know what’s going on around them, and they know what they’re next steps are supposed to be.

Our local media, has given brief minutes, “updating on the Station Fire.” No they weren’t. They were showing you the pretty pretty flames for a 3 minute spot. This is huge, people. I was getting sent photographs from Lancaster, which is something like 50 miles away from me, from friends. In a couple towns over, people have lost homes and been injured. This isn’t a little thing. Sup. Antonovich was giving a briefing on the fire, and he actually berated the media for not being there for the citizens. Which you didn’t hear about, because NOT ONE TV STATION SHOWED UP. We’re getting more coverage now that it’s as big as it is. No breaking news, just more facetime on the previously scheduled news broadcasts. Of course, it’s too late to be of any help to my town. It’s already swept through and done it’s damage. Last night on the 11pm news they did this big poetic thing with all our pictures. Gag me. HOWEVER… One place that has been great is KNX1070 Newsradio. Their website was giving specific school closure information, evacuations by actual street name, etc. Apparently, they’ve been a good source of solid information throughout, and I wanted them to have a shoutout. Although, I was never angry with radio. Shoot, they were probably the radio station at that press conference I mentioned.

Me? I’ve been putting up pictures in flickr when I can. I’m reading the city website, I’m in a Facebook group about the fire, and we keep each other in the loop when information falls into our laps. My – NOT a photographer – flickr photos ended up in a story on the fire in Canada, BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T GET ANY FROM THE MEDIA. I was quoted from Facebook on something else. This is SAD.

Where it REALLY sucks is for people like my parents. They’re older. They don’t use “new media.” They have no need for call waiting. They only have a cell phone because they travel and I had a nice temper tantrum and made them get one. They think that their source for this crisis is the TV news. They’ll tell them what they need to know of course. And since it’s not there – all’s well… Right?

So… Yeah. You go on and mourn Kennedy. It’s the proper thing to do. You go ahead and mourn the cracked clavicle of the USC football player, it’s news if you’re into sports. Me? I’m worried about living people who are terrified everything’s going up in smoke with a fire that is out of control still after 5 DAYS 7 DAYS. I could have used the media’s help.

Responsible media, my ass.

More information on the Station Fire

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Now I’m starting to be the eyes and ears of friends and family who are living away from our town, and their parents, etc. still live here.

Here are photos I took on Thursday.

Here are photos I took on Friday (today.)

I’m going to hit up the hospital and drive a bit and get some more pictures before the sun goes down.

Last I heard at 6pm from the chamber, we’re at 5% contained, and it was getting pretty close to Greenridge, although ground crews are standing by. Evacuations are still voluntary.

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