Sparks and Butterflies...

Joseph lost another tooth. Now he’s missing his two front teeth. Oh my – he has a lisp.

I really need to sit down and write out a list/journal/tract of Joseph’s activities, so I can share with various doctors. I just don’t have it in me to rehash all the meanness right now. And I know I need to. Perhaps I’ll do it in a journal entry here, and just add as necessary with the edit function. In other news (or not) I’ve not heard anything from Jeannette. Either she is or she isn’t and my jumping at the mail/emails is not going to help matters. ugg. There’s support out there for adoptees, but I don’t technically fall into that category. I wonder if there is support out there for adult abandoned children? I must research.

I did not sign up for a family bed. When I was researching parenting before we had children, I specifically remember telling Jay I did not want a family bed. I am purely selfish. I love my pillow, I love my space, or else I cannot sleep. The kids (and cat), however, disagree. This morning, my head was hanging off the bed, and it was just a matter of time before the rest of me would follow. There’s a reason I go to a chiropractor, people.

My son lacks any empathy whatsoever. I don’t know how to give it to him. He doesn’t care that someone is hurt emotionally or physically by his actions, he cares that he got in trouble. I feel like I’m raising the bad seed. My other son is the very antithesis of that. Full of affection, and sorry when he hurts someone. I don’t understand what I’m doing right, what I’m doing wrong. I don’t understand anything anymore.

I thought about it. I talked to mom. I’m sending the letter to Jeannette, with some small edits tomorrow. We’ll just have to wait and see. The way I see it, I’ve done what I can to get answers to my questions, since I really have no desire to meet with her in person, and I’m satisfied with that.