Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

My Son Has Been Censored

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Fabulous.

My son had to write a story for school that he made up. It will eventually be published in hardback with his illustrations. I won’t tell you the story verbatim, but here’s the basic gist: A boy is out on a boat, and he’s having troubles, so his three friends come to help him. As they’re bringing the boat back, limping along, they come upon a shark (IT WAS A SHARK! – My son has already mastered the “caps is yelling rule.”) So, the three friends harpoon it to save their lives. The come back to shore to have shark sushi. The end.

The rough draft came back.

No harpoons. No killing. Or come up with a different story all together.

We aren’t talking about a killing rampage. Or of a murderous person. Or of random animal killing for fun. Boys on an adventure in a ship kill a threat on the sea, thus saving themselves.

Apparently, this is the result of the “no tolerance” ban on weapons in the school. I’m surprised he wasn’t suspended, what with that threatening weapon on the page and all.

I have no idea of what to do. It’s not like I want to make my son the poster boy for free speech, or the poster boy in creativity without censorship. Apparently, if that’s not what I want, I have to instead teach my child the art of bending over gracefully and say, “Thank you. May I have another.”

I kind of hate parenting right now. And the school. And the school district. This is a fight we can’t win, so we’re not even going to try. Frankly, I have quite enough to deal with thanks… what with the psychiatrist appointment for my oldest later this week, and my mother trying to fry her dentures in flour last night (she wanted fried chicken. seriously.). Homeschool never looked better, frankly. But I kind of don’t have time for THAT too.

I am Uneasy About Los Angeles Military Training

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OK. So, the military will be training in Los Angeles. That link is from local news, main stream. It has a tone of, “Don’t worry, nothing to see here.” I live in a suburb town about 10 minutes (ok, an hour with traffic, Good Lord the traffic) from Los Angeles.

The “tin foil hat” sites that I frequent are BLOWING.UP.  I’m not going to share those links with you. I’m just going to share my thoughts.

The military has entire installations with all kinds of settings for training – as well it should. My husband, a former Marine, has trained in whole urban towns, sewers and all, for potential urban atmospheres. Those urban towns are on base. So, I immediately come to the thought of why is Los Angeles necessary?

With the various conflicts around the world, people angry with the United States, and the mere names of Iran and Israel creating anxiety, there’s certainly the threat of war. With the defense act, Agenda 21, FEMA camps, and US citizens having the potential of being held without trial, there’s the threat of domestic issues. With public unrest and anxiety in regards to our economy, the state of our government, and how that has effected all of us at home (we literally have 1/3 the income we did 3 years ago), there is a serious sense of unease to the point of civil unrest (the Occupy movement, the Tea Party, and more).

So, when I hear that the military is training in Los Angeles, I think of two scenarios, international (incoming attacks), and domestic (martial law). In both cases, I think “What are they not telling us?”

What are they not telling us? What do they know? What are they preparing for?

I find conspiracy theories fascinating, true. I frequent the Tin Foil Hat sites and marvel. I don’t necessarily subscribe. I’m a level headed creature. I would love nothing more than to work hard, play hard, be able to pay my bills, get rid of debt, save for emergencies, college, and retirement. Someday, I’d love to own a home in Alaska – the beauty is breathtaking. In truth, right now, I struggle to feed my family AND pay all the bills. But I can dream. I think they’re simple dreams. But I feel like a cloud is about to come over us – personally, and as a country. I’m seeing little things here and there, but the picture coming together as a whole is beginning to scare me. I don’t like it, and feel powerless against it. And due to our financial situation, I feel ill-equipped to handle whatever may come our way. That last bit makes me feel anxious.

Disclosure: I am an intelligent human being. I do not suffer from any mental disorders coloring my thoughts according to my therapist.

Is This for Real?

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I get a lot of pitches. LOTS of pitches. I chuck them daily, and only read the ones addressed to ME, not “Dear Ms.,” “Hi,” or “Dear Mommyblogger.” You see I’m pretty clear on my blog, if you know where to look (and I would think PR folks would know where to look), that I do have a review blog, where to contact me, who I am, etc. I tend to only read the ones from networks I belong to and work with, or the ones addressed to, “Dear Michele.”

This one was addressed to ME. So I opened it. Here it is in all its glory.

Dear Michele,

Happy Holidays!

We’d love your opinion on our new e-book/app for kids, “The Worst Book Ever!”  The description is below.

Thank you!
[REDACTED]
———————————

The Worst Book Ever!
(available for iPhone and iPad via iTunes)

Does your child love to eat mushrooms, apply sunscreen, do chores, and go to bed early? We didn’t think so. But they’ll still love this highly misguided story, filled with all the things your kids dread doing. The interactive format allows them to experience:

* the excitement of extracting splinters
* the exhilaration of flossing teeth
* the thrill of portable potties
* the adrenaline rush of a piano recital
* the hilarity of visiting the doctor
* and so much more!

If you’re not convinced already, take a look at what readers are saying:

“Whatever you do, don’t buy this book.”

“I thought it would be bad, but I had no idea.”

“Lives up to its title.”

“If you’re looking for fine children’s literature, keep looking.”

“It was worse than even my very lowest expectations.”

There was no link. There was nothing else. I was thinking… Joke? Clever marketing attempt? Frankly, I don’t get it and am left scratching my head in a WTF moment.

A Fact I Didn’t Know

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My dad is 77 years old. A couple of years ago, he got a computer.

You’re looking at “Tech Support.”

Anyway, he’s still in the email phase of email forwards of every single funny thing he’s sent. And no, I’m not about to attempt to explain “BCC” to him, so if I have your email address and you didn’t want me to? I apologize. I pick my battles.

Anyway, he sent me the following. It’s cute – thought I’d share.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known…

ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Monday Love

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Nothing is wrong, per se. My father and assorted clients are just making today a real Monday, with a capital M, you know? I needed a break, so I thought I’d post something that Carmen posted on her anniversary that really spoke to me. She found it on Pinterest, so hopefully the attribution is correct.

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

~Bob Marley

With that said, I love my husband.

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