Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

NaBloPoMo and Me

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It’s November! The original NaBloPoMo month. I always like to attempt this, ’cause it helps me get out of the inevitable blog funk.

So… Here we go. A post every day in the month of November. Usually, I fall off right about the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It’s the Thanksgiving prep that gets me every single time. I know this going in, so I’ll try to combat that this year.

Want to join, too? Go here. So far, the list of participants is up to 739. There are prizes and such, but that has never been the point for me. The point is remembering I have something to say, and sitting in my power to say it. Even if my reach is literally just that my page is somewhere on the interwebs, I know that I had my say, in my way.

Be ready for a steady influx of Michele!

Freaky Cat Number Two

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Number two brings us Pebbles. Here is a visual.

Pebbles is… Unique. She is the half sister biologically of Sassy. They came from the same home, from a family we knew and trusted. Sassy, when she came to live us, was loving and attached to me as Mama very quickly. A couple of years later came Sassy. She… Had a much more difficult transition. If I didn’t know better, I would assume that she was abused. In fact, it’s like she hid under the bed for her first two years here. Every time she came out, Poe would grab her up, hold her firmly, and love on her just a second past her wanting to get down. Over time, it took longer and longer for her to fight to get down. Over the last year, we’ve seen SO MUCH PROGRESS! Now… She’s our buddy. She’s still not a snuggler. But she can be found near us at all time. She begs for attention. She LOVES getting love.

Some quirks of this cat… If someone goes to the bathroom, she barrels through the door. She has somehow figured out that if we’re on the toilet, we’re indisposed of for a period of time. What better way to pass the time, than to scratch her head? She does not want to drink out her water bowl, although she will if she has to. She’d much prefer you run the bathroom sink for fresh water out of the faucet, thank you. Battery operated toothbrushes are the devil, period. If she’s going to eat, she’d like you to rub her tummy while she does it, thanks, during which she will purr as she chews, which is the oddest snarfy sound. If she falls asleep, she will suddenly startle awake, think that she’s been unconscious for 10 years, run for us yelling loudly, and start doing somersaults to try and get you to rub her belly. It’s been 15 minutes since she got her belly scratched, you see. And finally – she loves to lick plastic. Plastic bags, plastic packaging… Her Favorite.Thing.Ever. is a partially opened package of toilet paper. She’s very, very strange.

What Can Make Me Fall

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There is one thing that will take me out of the running of Winner of Life.

Migraines.

Ugh.

I’m a woman who gave birth to two children, in spite of a reproductive birth defect.

I’m a woman who has continued working and running a household through two bouts of pneumonia.

I can care for a sick parent, coddle the other parent, see a cardiologist for one kid, and IEP meeting for another kid, and run a business in one day (with cape and combat boots, obviously).

But a migraine comes and I can.not.function.

Poe wasn’t here last night/this morning because he had work (he works nights). I knew that the combination of barometric pressure, my lack of allergy meds (no money to buy them), and my period – and their hormones – on the way was a perfect storm of a migraine on the horizon. And sure enough I was awakened by the searing pain out of dead sleep at 3:30am. I HATE THAT. That means there’s no way to get ahead of the pain with meds. I sent a poorly typed text message to Poe at that moment to bring home allergy sinus headache medicine (the good stuff behind the counter you have sign your life away for). It has to be the stuff that says Sinus Pressure, or else it won’t have the good stuff meth makers use – hence the sign your life away stuff. I also had him buy “headache medicine” because all we had in the house was ibuprofen, and for me at least, that doesn’t work on any kind of headache.

As an aside? Apparently there’s no excedrin?? WTF?? Their site still exists, but they had a recall something like a year ago for a particular batch, and it was taken off the shelves – but it has never returned to our local stores. That was the one OTC that I could count on to work. I have no health insurance (for the grown-ups, the kids have insurance), which means I can’t go get the prescription stuff, ’cause I can’t afford the visit or the prescription.

There is just no way to explain a migraine to someone who has never had one. Poe finally understands. He had a brain variance about 9 years ago, which is where a portion of the brain sort of seizes up. While he recovered from that, he was left with migraines, so he knows the pain I’m feeling. So he literally walked in the door this morning and shoved the medicine boxes in my hand, and said, “Do you have something to drink? Do you need to eat first, or will you just throw up? Don’t worry I’ll take Logan to school, and I’ve got everything else.” He gets it.

So, in the middle of a migraine, with absolutely no meds, I managed to make sure two boys were ready for school, fed, clothed, and teeth brushed, and got one of them out the door on time to his ride. I don’t remember doing any of it. Then I took the meds, gave the rest of life up to Poe, and crashed for 4 hours, while the meds took effect. They have. I’m upright now. It’s still there, but as long as I stay ahead of the pain with medicine, The next two days will be painful but manageable.

If you have Migraines you already know this… But for those new to the game? Here are some tips I’ve learned along the way.

  • Have drapes on the windows and close them.
  • If you can get out of driving anywhere, do it. Otherwise, I guarantee you the sun’s going to hit a window and reflect back directly through your eyes and penetrate your brain with blinding pain.
  • Migraines are usually localized to one part. So arrange your body on the bed to put counter pressure on that part. Mine are frequently in my right temple, so I sleep on my right side, with the heel of my hand squarely on the right temple. If it’s all around, make sure you have king size pillows, wrap one completely around your head, and use your arm to keep it in place. Another technique that works on an all-around is a semi-tight ski cap. It seems to help with counteracting the “my skull will actually explode” feeling.
  • If you smoke, have a cigarette before you go down.
  • If you drink caffeine, have some before you go down.
  • Use Your Medicine every 3 1/2 hours if they are 4 hour pills. Otherwise you’re going to be chasing the pain again.
  • If you can eat something, eat something light as it may come up again. If you do throw up, get that medicine in your system again, even if you don’t want to.
  • Let the people in your household know what’s going on. Kids need to not yell, etc. In my house, everyone can tell that it’s serious, because I sort of turn a gray color. That can be a little scary for my kids, but at least they can tell Mom’s not in a bad mood, Mom’s in pain.
  • Let your partner help. My husband hates all my bodily quirks – not because he’s a jerk, but because he can’t fix it and make it better. Men like to fix things. So… I make sure he helps instead of sloughing him off, “No, it’s okay, I can do it.” I find it’s better for him mentally if he’s helping me, like he did this morning. He can’t take the migraine away, but by golly he can make sure I try to eat. (I am so lucky it’s not even funny. I love that man.)

    • I used to have Pre-Symptoms. They were very unpleasant. Numbness in my extremities, loss of peripheral vision, speech impediments… Very stroke like in nature. But! The good news about them was, they were precursors. I could try and head the pain off at the pass, and I was often successful. The last few years though, I don’t get the pre-symptoms. Just – no pain, OMG PAIN.

    Anyway. If you have migraines, I’m sorry. I totally get you.

    The Benefits of Silence

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    I know the blog has been silent. I make no apologies for it. It stems from two things. One, unless I’m really riled up about something, when I’m contemplative or struggling, I go inward. I have to work it out inside. And when I mean inward, I mean in all ways. On the blog, on Facebook, with my friends and acquaintances I see in “real” life, etc. It wasn’t always this way. My blog really is my journal, and I’ve treated it as such. Two, I have a larger audience now. I don’t mean audience as in “My Adoring AUDIENCE” (although I hope you are one), I mean in more of a personal sense. Family has found my blog. While they remain silent about it, I’m not stupid, am technologically more advanced than some of them, and I know they are there because I know where to look. And my children will probably read it eventually. While I don’t mind them reading struggles I’ve had in raising them, as I am a human being, and raising children is a struggle, as they are human beings as well – that’s just reality – They are getting older now. Their stories, as often as I may want to share them, are THEIR stories. They are less symbiotic with me, and starting to travel their own roads, and I don’t want to present their stories, I want them to, eventually. I don’t let them on the internet at home yet, however, they do use the computers at school, and at home with my supervision for school, so their reality (literally and figuratively) is important to me. And so. I only write here when I want to and feel the urge to say something. Our current living situation is very same ‘ol, same ‘ol. Same lack of funds. Still working on the business and Poe’s opportunity. The kids have the same special needs with no outstanding issues to face. So I must feel led and prompted to write.

    I know that blogging is now “Blogging – the Business.” It wasn’t always that way. It all started out as online journals. There was no software, although people did create graphics and give them out free to the journalers who were graphically impaired, such as myself. We wrote the html code by hand in notebook, or another text editor. We hand coded the “next” and “previous” and archives. We uploaded it to our free 10 mgs of server space given to us on our AOL or other isp accounts. They were real journals. Commenting didn’t exist, but people would email their comments. Eventually, that led to “Web-logging” or “weblogging,” which was a more of a “here’s what I did today real quick” instead of a long journal entry (kind of like a personal slightly larger than 140 char. twitter). That eventually led to software/platforms that you see today, as well as the terms “blogging” and “blog.” In fact, there was quite a controversy at the time between the “online journalers” and the “webloggers” as to which was a more… authentic or true or “right” way to do it. Eventually, though, the controversy resolved itself because the two kind of melded. Although, personally, I feel that what we term as “blogging” today is more of what us online journalers did, and our Twitter and Facebook entries are now what “weblogging” was then.

    I’ve been doing this online writing thing since 1995. For those counting at home, that’s 17 years. I’m 37 years old. That means I’ve been blogging/writing online almost half my life. Longer than my 12 & 10 year olds have existed. Longer than the 14 years I’ve been married. I’ve been around a while. I don’t look at blogging the same way as other folks do. I don’t look at my stats, really. In fact, when an opportunity comes my way and they ask about my stats? I pass it by. You know why? Because you’re judging me not by my content, but by how many folks look at my content. You’re judging me not by my sparkling personality, but by how many friends look at my sparkling personality. I used to care. I used to want to make a living at this thing. But a few too many “you’re not doing it rights,” and a few too many clique rejections from the “Big Blogs,” and I just don’t care anymore. Because I was doing this before you were. I’ll be doing it after you’re gone. When I write, it’s because I have something to say, not because I’m struggling to find something to say because I need to crank out so much content to live up to my obligations. The only obligation I currently have is my advertiser BlogHer. I have to write once a month to stay part of that program. While that doesn’t always happen (I’ve been known to get a “where are you” email or two), that’s an obligation I can live with.

    You see, this isn’t business for me. This is my life. If I were to make money off it? I’d be fine with it! Ecstatic, in fact. But the fact that I’m not? Does not – I repeat NOT – negate the effort, and it doesn’t negate my life.

    Guess what “blogging community?” I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. My stats don’t dictate my love of this medium. I do. And when you crash and burn because you equate your stats and “online worth” with the story of your life? I’ll still be here.

    The moral of this story is… Unless you’re blogging for an actual business, or a blog on a very specific topic, live your life. Write your life in order to memorialize the story of your life for the future. Because you matter. I don’t care how many readers you have. I don’t care what your keywords are. I don’t care about your Alexa rating. I don’t care about that Klout standing thing. I care about if you’re telling your story, telling it authentically, telling it ethically, and growing (personally, not necessarily financially) from the experience. THAT’s the beauty of this blogging thing. THAT’s the reason the personal bloggers should be here. Because then if great things happen because of it, it’s gravy instead of the destination.

    Don’t get me wrong. If you’re succeeding financially from the endeavor, I am happy for you! I am! And I truly hope that you enjoy doing it while you’re earning that living. I do not begrudge that, and I want you to succeed. What I am asking you to do, however, is remember yourself in the equation. Remember your worth just for being you. Your words matter because you thought them, not because someone read them. Pouring your heart out on your blog matters not because the keywords triggered traffic, but because of the internal process of pouring your heart out. In the midst of the blogging conferences, networking, social networking, “how to do it” panels, and the pitch emails, please, please remember that.

    Life Well Lived – Getting Happy

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    From the BlogHer Life Well Lived Series:

    What are your favorite relaxation techniques? And what benefits do you see from practicing them?

    A year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to answer this question. Lately, however, I’ve been delving into my personal spirituality, and my relationship to God and the Divine. So… I have two ways of relaxing.

    1) The zone out. In the evenings, I usually zone out. That might be reading or playing WoW, or watching movies or my DVR saves. This is just a way for me to “check out” from the day, because each day is go-go-gooooooo. It resets my brain. I have also found that I have a propensity for burn out. When I burn out, or stress out, I conjure up physical symptoms. I’m such a worrier that I’m one of those rare folks that have given myself ulcers. The doctor said it was stress because I tested negative for the bacteria that usually causes them. Because of this, I’ve dubbed Saturdays as my do-nothing day. On Saturdays I do not clean. I do not work. I do not cook. I do nothing, except what I want to do. It has helped me dramatically. I may study, or do art, or just play games, but I only do what I want to do. On those days that I cannot have my do-nothing day, I’ve really noticed a difference in my stress level for the next week. So, I apparently need that day to recharge.

    2) Meditation. Yup… I meditate. I light some incense, and light a cnadle, and I meditate. Sometimes it’s on a particular subject, but more often I’m just connecting with God. That connection then grounds me so I can move on with my day in a better frame of mind. Or I do a meditative activity. For me, that’s gardening by myself. My hands are busy, and so my thoughts go more inward, go more spiritual, or I pray on certain matters.

    As for the benefits to me… MAN! I am more relaxed. I have less stomach trouble. I even look forward to the times, and just knowing they’re coming will help me in the current situation I’m in to be better able to handle it. I’m happier. I’m calmer. I’m more content. I’m more settled in my emotions. All really good things.

    Please go hit up BlogHer and leave your own answers and don’t forget to enter the current Life Well Lived Sweepstakes!

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