Sparks and Butterflies...

Dude. OK, I’m not going to say too much, but I went my my department’s Christmas holiday party last night.

Oh. My. Lord.

OK, this is my third Christmas with the company. The first party was after a round of layoffs, and everyone was depressed, and it had to be the most glum party I ever went to. Second party – last year – was held at an executive’s home, and actually was really wonderful. We played Pictionary (and won) and a good time was had by all. That one, spouses attended, and we had to leave early since Poe’s back was spasming. But I heard that after we left one executive had too much to drink and ended up in a bathrobe singing show tunes.

This year. Oh Lord. I had meant to stay until the bitter end, as I was volunteered to clean up afterward. Held at a colleague’s home. Let’s see. What to say. I did not get drunk. Between 3pm (setup) and 9:45pm, when I left, I had had one beer and one shot. So, I was fine. Some highlights… sending me (the only sober one) out at 8:00pm for another (!) bottle of Petron. That would be the third bottle. A couple of colleague’s going outside to talk, and me being accosted by some more colleagues saying I had to chaperon! The one is a married man!! To which I replied, “Don’t worry… He’s too drunk to get it up.” Which was met by much drunken laughter. Yeah, I’m a comedian. One high level executive fell out of his chair. That same one is going to have a wedgie tomorrow since I had him by the back of the pants to hold him up. He was eventually poured into someone else’s car… He’s gonna have to do the drive of shame to get his car back. It took three of us to get him into the car. I actually had to tell the big boss, “Um… Could you go and get Jane out of the headlock?” Another executive came up to me, “Where’s that cool husband of yours? God, he’s just a great guy. I just love him.” A drunken “I love you man!” by proxy! And yet another executive kissed me full on the mouth and told me I had saved his ass more times than he could count (he doesn’t exactly have a stellar assistant and sometimes he comes to me behind her back to get something done right.) That was actually nice to hear… But wow.

Just wow. I suppose had I been drunk it all would have been normal. Luckily I was able to tell my pleasantly inebriated boss I was going home and she let me even though I was supposed to clean up. I had NO IDEA it was going to last that long. I’m STILL sick and wanted to go home and go to bed. She was fine about it.

I am SO CURIOUS as to how many are going to make it into work today. I’ll try not to yell “How are you feeling?” at them.