I’m not sure what I want to say here. I’m a little numb, a little dumb, exhausted, and I still have to work, fend for another child, manage my husband’s schedule, all with a sinus infection.
But – Joseph’s in the hospital again. Suicidal ideation, with a plan. In other words, he doesn’t want to die, but can’t get the pictures out of his head (obsessive compulsive) and he was afraid he would be worn down enough to do it.
Three day hold. We’ll see how it goes.
I have to drive two hours to get to this hospital. But – it was the only one with a bed so he didn’t have to go to the previous hospital we had such a terrible experience with.
There’s a lot of good and bad in this.
Bad – compulsive thoughts
Good – he recognized them
Bad – have to call a PET team in
Good – no handcuffs, everyone’s calm, his personal psychiatric team was involved, no drama
Bad – he has to be hospitalized
Good – he recognized the need and asked to be safe
Bad – 4 hours round trip to see him for our allotted hour each day
Good – He’s not at the hospital where someone tried to kill him
I have no answers. I have no help. I have no idea what’s going to happen in the next few days. I sure as hell don’t have the money for this. I’m trying to take it day by day.
Today, we have food in the house, and he’s safe. I can’t really worry much beyond that and remain sane myself.
Oh god, how horrible this must be for you. But how encouraging that he recognized the problem and asked for help!
Hugs woman! What a hard thing for your family. I am SO glad you are blessed with a self aware child. I’m sure you had a lot to do with that, as his mother. You are in our prayers!
Holy crap. Going to read the update but seriously? I don’t know what to do to help but I’m here and just tell me.