As part of the BlogHer Life Well Lived series, we were asked this question:
The holidays make me so anxious! How can I stay organized this year?
It has taken me years to come to the point I am at. What point is that? The point at which I no longer care what everyone else does. Others’ perception of what I “should” be doing no longer matter.
I used to think I wanted the “perfect” Christmas. With the lights, and the presents, the traditions, the perfect children anticipating Santa, the family togetherness… Everyone in my life should receive a gift. My children should receive every single thing on their list. The biggest tree my ceiling will allow.
A few things that helped slap me silly: My children love Santa in THEORY. The man in the suit? Not so much. I have maybe two Santa Pics of my kids. They flat out refused to sit on that man’s lap – and speak? Oh Hells No. I am not going to force them. My children are not perfect, nor are they perfectly behaved. While I actively parent them, discipline them, and teach them, they are not, and never will be perfect. Nor is it their job to fulfill my own holiday fantasies. Money troubles for the last three years means that we have to prioritize how/what will be under the tree. And the work? All me, baby. Which means that this fantasy of mine? It’s all my fault and I’m a terrible person if it doesn’t come out “right.” Jesus seemed to be missing in all of this. In our house, we celebrate this season as a celebration of Jesus’ birth, and that’s a decision I had to make internally first.
So, I eventually started telling myself that I would do what I could, when I could, and how I wanted to do it. Some traditions emerged that my children remember, love, and ask for. Now… I make those traditions happen. I had a reality check of what matters. I prioritized. I took a gut check of what I could do, and was both personally, and financially capable of. That’s how I got rid of the anxiety.
I don’t have a list of organizational tips for others. Some of our traditions are not what other “normal” folks do (example: On Christmas Day, I bake a homemade birthday cake for Jesus. And yes, we sing Happy Birthday. To outsiders, it seems odd in a Christmas celebration). But my biggest advice is this; figure out what is true for YOU, and then create that reality. For my kids, husband, and I, some homemade fudge, and sitting down for a reminder that we’ll shoot our eye out? THAT’S Christmas Eve. Some new PJ’s as the ONE gift to open on Christmas Eve. Orange cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Nothing terribly fancy. Nothing terribly taxing. The only thing I do that I can think of as a true “tip,” Like Stays With Like. Christmas decorations are all stored together. During the season, wrapping supplies are all in one place. The gifts needing to be wrapped or hidden (wrapped or not, a certain amount magically appear overnight on Christmas Eve) are all in one place. I don’t stash. I stash, I lose.
Anyway – that’s how I lost my anxiety.
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