It’s been so long since

It’s been so long since I’ve written, I don’t know

what to say. I guess I’ll just update on all the major areas in my

life. Jay and I are doing well, as far as our marriage goes. Still

chugging away. Jay got transferred to a different store, which is

farther away, but so far he seems to like it. He had a lot of

personality differences with his former boss, so this could be a good

thing. He was transferred because the former person in his position got

fired, so they needed someone right away who knew what they were doing.

We’ve also sort of set up a schedule in our house for his sleeping, so

we seem to be seeing each other more which is certainly a good thing.

Joseph is doing well. I really hate to say this about my own son, but I

really don’t think he likes me. The child is downright violent with me.

I can’t seem to understand it, and no one else seems to be able to

either. The people who see him everyday (Jay, my mom, my dad) all see

this, and don’t understand the problem. I’m hoping that this is just a

phase that he’s going through. Terrible two’s?? My mother says that the

terrible two’s are a myth, but I’m not sure I agree with her. What

results from this is a daily clash of wills that just leaves me

exhausted at the end of the day. And wondering, how the hell am I going

to take care of another one??? Not that there’s anything I can do about

that at this point, but I still wonder. Other than with me, though,

he’s a charming, sweet, precocious young man. My favorite thing about

him is the fact that he loves to just walk up to his daddy (when he’s

sitting down) and give kisses on the top of his head. Jay’s head is

buzzed, and Joseph just loves to hug and kiss it. Absolutely adorable.

On the financial forefront – looks bleak. I finally found a job,

telemarketing. I absolutely hate it. Today was my first day. I truly

hope it gets better. My manager assures me it will, but I’m not so sure

this is for me. So, I’m going to continue to look for another job. We

also made a decision. That perhaps my problem is that I need to get

trained in another field to work from home. So I started going to

school for medical transcription. It’ll take about a year to complete.

I’ve taken 4 exams so far, and have gotten all A’s so that’s a good

thing. I’d be much better at that than telemarketing. But so far, it’s

a job. Working from home wasn’t as difficult as I thought it was going

to be. I had no problem being disciplined or anything. I had to take a

break, since Joseph had a meltdown (didn’t want to take his nap, and

showing just how much he needed it), but other than that it went

smoothly. Now if I could just be as disciplined in my housekeeping

chores. But alas, that seems to be my true downfall. My pregnancy so

far seems to be going well. I’m 27 weeks along. And (drumroll

please…) we’re having another little boy. Everything looked good on

the ultrasound. It turns out I’m extremely high risk for pre-term

labor, through no fault of my own. The midwife said that there’s

nothing I can do to prevent it, although keeping hydrated seems to

help. You see I have Uterine Didelphys, which gives me a hgh chance

already. Plus, Joseph was born at 36 weeks, which heightens my chances

with a second child as well. So, we just have to keep our fingers

crossed. I’m so far from being ready, it’s not even funny. The only

reason I’m partly ready is because we kept everything from Joseph. I

just haven’t had the energy to take inventory and go through storage,

and wash everything yet. Or maybe I’m just in denial. But I wasn’t

ready when Joseph was born either (sort of anyway – he came early and

so I was caught off guard) but even knowing that hasn’t helped me get

off my butt and get ready. I think we’ve come up with a name, but we’re

still trying it out. This is also the 4th name that we’ve said that

about, so who knows. I don’t think we will until the baby is actully

here. The other area in my life that I’m having a problem with is my

spiritual one. We haven’t been going to church. Really it’s only been

sheer laziness on my part. Jay usually works on Saturday nights, so

he’s too wiped out to go on Sunday morning. I can go by myself (with

Jay’s complete encouragement), but then I have to get Joseph ready and

there and to the nursery, and in and out of the carseat, and it just

seems like such hard work, when Sunday morning rolls around. All of

that sounds terrible I know. I do. And I feel so far apart from God

right now because of it. I’m trying to make a concerted effort to

step-up my prayer life which seems to be helping. Well, there it is –

the grand update.