I would do a

I would do a real update, but I’m not sure I want to think about life right now. Jay and I are still doing really bad financially, since it’ll be another couple of weeks before we see a paycheck. I owe almost $6000 to my parents due to the strike. Logan is turning into a little butterball all of a sudden, all chubby, and heavy. And I’m so thankful for that – remember the kid was at a -3%growth rate. But he won’t say, \”Mommy\” or any variation thereof. He’ll be 2 in May. I’m finding it difficult to not be hurt. Jay and I have been trying to be more flirtatious with each other. This is difficult, because I don’t know how, any extra attention put on me causes me to blush and stammer and stutter. Literally. And I’ve got a very voracious appatite sexually, and yet, am too embarrassed to ask for or take what I want. And subtle things go WAY over Jay’s head. So, we’re trying to get me to open up a little and be less stiffled with him. We’re just now doing this almost 6 years of marriage and 2 kids later. But he knows \”I’ve got an inner sarcastic kinky bitch\” in me – and am just afraid to let her out. He watched me punch a nurse and kick a doctor in the face during our first childbirth. He’s watched me kick and punch through boards in TKD. He’s heard me and my mouth during the actual ACT. But try to flirt with me, and I look at my toes, blush, and giggle. Mainly because I can’t think of a thing to say back. We’re working on that. He says he doesn’t know a smarter, more sexual woman, and wants me to \”play\” more. In all ways. He says I’m too serious. So, we’re working on it. I don’t know if it’s working or not. My first boss I had right after we got married was around during the pregnancy and and about 6 months after. When I told her I was pregnant, she said, \”Good. Maybe you’ll learn how to play\”. There was another girl who worked with me in the department who was very, I guess shy. It turns out, she was scared of me. I found this out later, as we became friends. Why are we friends now? Because after hours, Jay came to pick me up from work, and caught his reflection in the glass of the building, and started dancing. Because he was wearing gigantic mouse slippers on his feet, and wanted to make them dance. She came to me to tell me about the weirdo (remember it was after hours), and I proceeded to tell her it was okay – he was mine. We became friends after that because she decided someone that was married to THAT wasn’t so scary. So – Jay and I decided we’re not going to let me be so serious anymore. Michele is going to flirt with her husband. She’s going to have fun with him. Or die of embarrassment trying. Seriously though – Any advice on flirting is really WANTED. Help Me!