hospitalization…

So, mom just called me from Vegas. Jeannette is in the hospital. I’m not surprised. She put herself there. She needs a transplant, and is unwilling to do what she needs to do to get one (ie: quite smoking and drinking). She’s made her choice to die instead.

Now that I’ve made the transition into knowing that I’ll be finding my family without her anyway, I’m now surprisingly cold about her possible demise now. I’m surprised. I thought I’d feel more, even if it was negative. I will be going to her funeral if she has one, I’ve already made that decision.

Of course, this may not be her final stand – I may be jumping the gun here. but one can’t help but think of it when someone’s in as dire conditions as she is.

Stacey told me she wants to know nothing about Jeannette’s now stuff. Past stuff, yes, as she’s trying to understand what happened to her – and family medical stuff of course. Other than that, she doesn’t want to know. She also doesn’t want Jeannette to know anything about her or her children. I respect that. So she won’t.

My family is fairly fucked up. Sometimes I don’t know how to feel.