Crap

Things are such crap I can’t even write about it. It’s all seeming to go down the toilet and I’m frustrated and angry and hurt and sad. So – that’s why not too much updating right now. I’m holding on by my fingernails.

So – without going into a deep thought about any of it – the crapola:

My son is a thief and a liar.

He’s also sick and no one I try has been able to help.

My husband will be jobless in a week and a half.

I know I’ve said it before and each time it’s been true. I’m heavier and uglier than I’ve ever been.

I don’t know where God is. I have no peace. All I see is red anger when I try to pray, followed by tears of desperate unmentionable need.

This is not my depression. I know what that feels like. This is something else. This is life going down the crapper.

And to top it all off my in laws will be here this weekend, and I don’t have a nice gracious bone in my body right now.

Fingernails. Just hangin’ on.