What Would We Do Wednesdays

Today’s question comes from Margie at ThirdMom…

The situation:

Couple XYZ have two cars:

Old van that runs fine, is also pretty good on gas, has well over 100K miles, but is needed from time to time for Spouse A’s hobbies.

SUV that’s not too big and pretty good on gas but approaching 100K miles – Spouse B loves this car.

The challenge:

Son is now driving and will need a car to get to and from school next year.

So – Here’s my thought. In my family growing up, the kids got the old cars, and the parents got the new ones. This one’s easy. Spouse A gets a new “gently used” van. This will be easier to get cost wise, insurance wise, and the mom (spouse A) still has the proper vehicle for her hobbies.

Kid gets the old van with these caveats:

• Kid gets a job
• Kid pays own insurance
• Kid pays own gas
• Parents will pay for maintenance, unless caused directly by kid’s actions (ie: an accident)

Of course this means the kid will need to find a job. Boo hoo if that’s not fair, but that’s the way it goes. There are other choices, like public transportation, which would certainly be covered under allowance.

Also – it’s a van. A van that the parents know. A big car. One that might not get totally squished in an accident.

Besides, dude, mom gets a new car before the kid gets a new car.

It’s going to be more expensive no matter which way you look at it, but at least this is cost efficient. AND! Spouse B gets to keep the SUV he loves, at least for the next little bit.

Go see what my husband had to say about it…

Please submit the next question via comments below or email

Okay! Tomorrow is WWWDW (What Would We Do Wednesdays) and we have NO topics.

So, let me reiterate what this is.

Poe and I will give our answer – he said/she said style – on each of our sites, in response to anything you’d like to ask, know, just plain curious, or have advice on. It’s something fun we wanted to do – BUT YOU PEOPLE AREN’T COOPERATING!

So we need topics. From you! Either email me, or use that little comment link down there.

No WWWDW this week – the holiday had us all befuddled, and today is actually Monday, didn’t you know?

But even if we were able to do it… YOU HAVEN’T SENT US ANY MORE QUESTIONS!

Send us anything! Things to comment on, questions about us, questions about marriage, childrearing, etc. Everything is fair game, and you’ll get both of our unadulterated answers. So use that little contact link down there or email me.

What Would We Do Wednesdays

ButtonWillow Asks:

When you have one of those days where your spouse is making you crazy, do you ignore it and just get on with life, or take some sort of action specifically targeted at your marriage?

What would I like to do? Ignore it and just get on with life. The truth though is – there’s usually a reason he’s driving me crazy. One, I’m PMSing, in which case I’ll go off on him. a lot. and by the end of the day have an epiphany of what’s happening and apologize. OR he’s been drinking on the weekend, in which case I’ll go off on him. a lot. and won’t apologize, because I don’t like him when he’s drinking and he knows it.

At any other time, I have to stop and take stock, and usually if it’s not one of the above, he’s doing it on purpose to get a rise out of me. Once I realize it – oh ha ha, very funny – he stops.

If it’s something serious, I usually ignore it for a little while, and think. What’s wrong with this picture? Then I talk to him about it. If he’s pissed at me, that doesn’t necessarilly work, because he tends to use the silent treatment when he’s upset, and won’t talk to me. He eventually comes around.

All in all it works out. My only tried and true advice for others?

• Don’t go to bed angry. Unresolved, maybe, but truce in place.
• No kitchen sink fighting.
• No name calling. Cursing may be involved, but no name calling.

Let me elaborate… No one has slept on the couch out of anger. Other situations have called for it – kids sick, or whatnot, but not due to a fight. I try not to bring anything out from previous situations that don’t apply to the current situation, just because I’m mad. And I don’t call him names. I can’t take that back. And thinking about it from the other perspective, if he called me a fucking ho, for example, I may have to hurt him. Soundly. In the face. Therefore, I don’t use names on him either.

So far, 8 years, still counting. It’s worked for us.

What did Poe have to say about it?

What would YOU like to know? Let us know for next week’s edition!

ButtonWillow has sent me a topic! WWWDW is officially on for tomorrow! Don’t forget to send in your topics, questions, comments, that you would like both Poe and myself to write on.