There’s this phenomenon with me at work. I don’t want to do anything.
It’s really bizarre. But because I’ve put in my notice (I’m really regretting the length) I simply don’t have the urge to get things done.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m doing the job, and doing it well. I would never screw them over – It’s a mental state I’m talking about. At this point, since my future isn’t invested with my company, I tend to say, “Why?” when I’m doing things. Especially now, in the industry I’m in. I see a lot of excess that’s based on privilege (and perceived privilege) and it annoys me. Don’t worry, I’m not saying anything bad about my company. My department heads are good about trying to keep hired talent’s heads out of the clouds, and grounded into the reality of budget – but precedence demands certain things.
My point is – I wonder what the point is. It’s not as though my current workplace is an essential thing – like, say, an energy plant. Or an authority necessity, as like, say, a police station. In personal finance terms, my current company is a “want” versus a “need.” So, I’m sitting there, realizing I’m leaving in a few months – hopefully earlier if we can get a replacement – and just not caring about the product we put out. I’m having to force my productivity. I produce a good product. I always will. I have integrity, and I’m honest. But man! Sometimes, the day is just such a struggle.
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