We are having a bit of an issue around here that is pretty much dominating  my thoughts at the moment.

First, this job of Poe’s said he would receive (sorely needed) health insurance after his probationary period of 90 days.  That would have meant November 1st.  Right?  Yeah, not so much.  They decided to wait on him until the open enrollment period, putting his effective date on January 1, 2011.

OK.  That puts a serious crimp in things, as the kids are due for their physicals and blood work needs to be done on Joseph.  But two more months won’t kill us.

We got the paperwork.  It tells us the amount to cover family PER WEEK (he’s being paid weekly.)  I think “They just mean that’s the monthly premium, removed each week.”  You know, the monthly premium divided by four.  WRONG.

Essentially, that IS the weekly amount.  Let me explain what that means.  By the time he’s done paying for health insurance, we would have approximately $400 per month to pay rent, utilities, groceries, gas, other insurance coverage, not to mention medical copays, random school things that come up, oh and clothes for winter for the kids since Logan’s pants apparently spontaneously combust.  Since gas alone costs about $240 a month or more – you do the math.  The whole thing alone won’t even cover rent.

I’m not making that much money in my business.  Growing I am – but not THAT much.

We’ve gone to everyone we can think of, but yes, that’s the monthly amount as insane as it is.  I still cannot believe it at all.

What this essentially means is I probably have to go back to work outside the home.  Either, I need to get a job with benefits, or just a job.  Then we’d have to find private insurance (which costs about 1/4 what they’re asking for) and then save up as much money as humanely possible, because Logan won’t be covered under private insurance since he has a preexisting (actually it’s CONGENITAL) condition and won’t be covered.  His heart surgery alone (the timing of which we just don’t know) will probably run a total of $500K – $1M dollars, when you take all insurance out of the equation.  That’s a rough estimate with inflation.  We just won’t know until that time.

I just feel so defeated right now.  We can’t pay for childcare, so we’ll be going back to the Poe sleeps when the kids are at school, while I’m at work, and pray they don’t need to be picked up early.  It certainly feels like we’ll never get a break.  I just don’t understand.  We’re decent people.  We work hard.  We’re good parents.  Why do the kicks keep coming?