I wrote an entire entry about things I’m going through right now, and what I’m doing about it. Then my computer froze and I lost it before I hit “publish.” By the time I was done with it I was shaking. I don’t think I can write it again. Yet another thing “gone wrong” to add to the list.

I only have a few friends. A, J, C, and S. I only hang out with A on a daily basis. But the others are never far from my mind.

S just found out that she has MS last week. I don’t know what to say or do. So I told her I was sorry and offered to do her laundry. I couldn’t think of anything else.

She and her family are going to be doing an MS walk in Santa Barbara, and I told her I’d post the details here. I will as soon as she sends them.

Today’s quote I came across seemed especially appropriate today.

What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?

— George Eliot

Wow. My last few posts have really brought some people out of the woodwork. I’m grateful to all of you who let me know that I am so not the only one here feeling the things I’ve been feeling. On the other hand – I’m sorry! I wish I was the only one, ’cause that would mean you ladies Don’t!

Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me, letting me know things about you, and letting me know I’m not alone, and I’m not going crazy.

I was going to write a long entry about how I hate myself right now. All about the self talk and the inertia it brings me (along with things like weight gain and depression). Then I saw this quote. And well – I think I’m going to try and let it sink in a little.

We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.

— Roderick Thorp

I know I’ve been gone. I’m wrestling with some stuff in my head right now. For now I’ll leave you with this…

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

— Joseph Campbell