But aside from that, she's still completely normal
I’m so happpy! I don’t know why, but it could be :
I just find myself smiling for no reason. It’s such a calm good feeling.
I’ve been worrying about my sister and my relationship with her.
Mainly – my fear was that she would get all the information about her mother’s side of the family (medical mental etc), and then just disappear.
I sent a letter to her (mailed yesterday) that tells her what I want. I’m simply better writing it down that actually getting words to spit out of my mouth coherently. I told her that I do want a relationship with her. I want to be sisters to the extent that we can after such a separation. With pictures.
I got an email from her last night. She hadn’t received or even known about the letter. She thanked me for contacting her, because for the first time, as a parent, she has peace. She’s not doomed to follow in Jeannette’s footsteps because she actually loves her children. And she said that as far as now what? She said let’s go with the flow and see what happens. So, since I had a fear of rejection (hmmmmmmm wonder where that came from) this is very assuring to me.
It was a really lovely email. From my sister. I just love saying that.
So, mom just called me from Vegas. Jeannette is in the hospital. I’m not surprised. She put herself there. She needs a transplant, and is unwilling to do what she needs to do to get one (ie: quite smoking and drinking). She’s made her choice to die instead.
Now that I’ve made the transition into knowing that I’ll be finding my family without her anyway, I’m now surprisingly cold about her possible demise now. I’m surprised. I thought I’d feel more, even if it was negative. I will be going to her funeral if she has one, I’ve already made that decision.
It’s a Girl!!
I am JUBILANT! I did indeed find my little sister and she called me last night. I’m still rather discombobulated, and I have no idea where this is going to go. But I can tell you that I have a niece and nephew, and she seemed happy to hear from me.
I have my baby sister back!
I did it. I wrote my little sister, and little brother, and potential father at all the addresses found for all of them. We’ll see if they answer. But I did it, I wrote them.
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