Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Can’t Decide Between Proud and Mortified

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Poe was handling the morning carline this fine Friday (thank God) morning.  His conversation with a mother (in the actual carline):

Mother:  Hey!  Aren’t you Mr. X*?

Poe:  Um, no?

Mother:  Really?  At Club Midnight*?

Poe:  Um. No.  Nononono.

Mother:  Well…  You’re a really great dancer.

Poe:  Thank you?

What he wanted to say was “And were you a good tipper?”  But he didn’t.  Although he should have.

Of course this comes on the heels of Girl Scout Cookies, hugs, lots of “Thank you Mr. Wilcox,” “Mmmmm those are great tattoos!” And my favorite, “It’s so nice to have a big strong man on the carline.”  (And really?  WTF?)

I’m going to have to start going to carline myself to protect him from the wimmins.

 

*Dancer and Club name completely made up because Poe couldn’t remember the names.  DOESN’T HE KNOW HE NEEDS TO REMEMBER THIS STUFF SO CAN BLOG ABOUT IT?

You do YOUR job, and I’ll do MINE

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As any parent knows, mornings can be rough.  Kids need to be fed, dressed, hygiene attended to, the various items of the day – lunches, homework, jackets etc. all settled upon.  Depending on the number of children, this can look like a zoo.  Now, add the fact that it’s morning, and people are moving slower.  Add the idea of one bathroom for four people.  Poe (being unemployed) and I (being a home business owner) have the advantage over other working parents in that we don’t have to get ready right that second too.  We get up way before them… But that’s more for our sanity, and so we’re not in our grumpy morning attitudes when we get them up.  I’m able to get a start on my workday and know what fires have cropped up during the night.  Not to mention ingesting coffee prior to the stampede.

So – Poe and I are both in our pajamas for the most part when dropping kids off.  Then we can come home and get ready ourselves, without playing referee with our kids.  And you know what?  This works for us.

Enter this idiotic thing…  School Bans Parents from Wearing PJ’s at Drop Off.  Whatever.  Seriously.  You know what?  If I’m in MY car, I get to wear whatever I want.  If I’m on foot, I STILL get to wear whatever I want.  What’s important is that my children arrive to school fed, clean, rested, and prepared.  When I was working outside the home, and I had to be ready to go at the same time as the kids, it only made our morning preparations MORE chaotic.  I like the way I’ve got things going now.  I think something else that’s interesting to note is the complete disdain the principal seems to have for parents in general – regardless of their attire.

Seriously?  Stay out of my business.  Concentrate more on educating my child.  That’s your job, right?

OK no, but seriously

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I’ve been extremely delinquent in my blogging.  Basically because things are at such a level of suckage that I can’t stand to write about it.  So here’s a little update on everything.  First, the good.

Joseph is doing great at his new school.  He seems to like it.  He’s very tired as it’s only the 2nd week in, and he’d been out so long, but he’s starting to get in his groove.  I’m cautiously optomistic.

I’m matron of honor in a friend’s wedding coming up in February.  Trying to scrounge together money for the kids’ tux rentals (they’re in the wedding.)  Not to mention the bachelorette party.  I’m pretty sure it’s going to be BYOB and I cook.  Dude.  I can’t afford anything else. dammit.

Logan continues to be… Logan.  There are no words for that little bug.

As for the rest.  Student loans are coming after us, and we’re trying to settle.  They really don’t care that Poe’s been out of work for a year – and no they won’t take payments.  $28k now please.  Actually no –  please isn’t a word they know.  I’ve heard stories of the tactics that debt collectors use, but got to experience it first hand, myself yesterday.  We were personally insulted, our family was personally insulted (although I’m still not sure why) and the man yelled at us.  Not argued – yelled.  As if we had personally taken out a loan against his property.  Dude – you’ve had the account for a week.  He called us liars.  Started questioning each of our expenses.  It was awful and surreal.  I’m not usually on the receiving end of such vitriol – and I’ve taken some shit in  my life.  I don’t remember what I said, but Poe said at some point I said, “Excuse me sir, but how dare you speak this way to a human being?”  It was bad.  At which point my father witnessed my falling to pieces, which prompted my mother to come over, which prompted a potential settlement.  Which I am not handling.  Poe is.  I can’t get back on the phone with them.  I already have ulcers.

We’ve managed to stay current on everything else, by the skin of our teeth.  Poe has tried everything from his actual career line of work to grocery store, to pizza joints.  Now he’s trying to find manual labor.

So when I see Washington saying that things are getting better, I wonder if they’ve actually talked to any of their constituency.  Because it’s not for us.  And I know it’s not for others.

We’ve become Dave Ramsey fans.  Although to use his words, “we have an income problem.”  But using his money tactics for talking to each other, and planning together – Poe and I are both closer, and have a better monetary hand on things.  That’s actually been a good thing.  I don’t feel abandoned to make all the hard decisions myself, and he actually knows blisteringly clear how bleak it is.  But, knowledge is power.  We have a plan to initiate, and while for now that’s mostly treading water, we’re together in it.

So – if you know of a CAD Design/Drafting job – or anything else – open in Southern California, I’d appreciate being able to pass it on to him.

Living Nightmares

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I’m stuck in a living nightmare with one of my children.  I’m not able to process it completely yet here.  One – it’s not over yet, and I’m hoping to have a conclusion to the story tomorrow.  Two – I’m in a limbo of thought and action…  I can’t seem to accomplish anything.  It’s sort of like all my thoughts are reserved for this situation.

I’m not trying to be mysterious.  It’s just a really long story, and I’ll need to tell it in a manner that goes down the timetable of what has happened.  Here’s the really short version – while in the school’s care, my son made a really bad decision in which he could have been killed.  Because of that, my son is in a mental institution against our will.  Further to that, we were unable to get him out on time because the doctor can’t be bothered to work on the weekends.  And due to that fact, my son was almost killed tonight by another mental patient.

He’s supposed to come home tomorrow.  But I say that with really fat air quotes because I’ve also been told, “All due respect, ma’am, we don’t need your consent.”

If  he doesn’t come home tomorrow, we’re taking legal action.

Twice in less than a week my son has almost died when in the hands of a state entity that supposedly knows better than me how to take care of him.

I’m hanging on by a thread.  Mainly, all my energy is being put into being nice and mad, so I don’t become complacent and let them bulldoze their way through our lives.

I may go through the whole process of what has happened, but I simply don’t have the energy right now.  Please be patient with my not being particularly communicative at this time.

Abhorrent in my Opinion

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I watch a particular channel. And on that channel there is a commercial that is run an awfully lot. While I think it is in bad taste for this network to run this advertisement (and I planning on writing them about it) – This is about the product, not the network.

Ashley Madison dot com. I’m not giving them link love. The Ashley Madison Agency, est. 2001. Tagline? Life is Short. Have an affair.&#0153

The commercial offends me. I suppose it shouldn’t, but it does. A couple sleeping in bed. The woman is snuggled up to man, snoring her full head off. You don’t see too much of her, but can tell she’s on the heftier side. The man awakens and sees the liquor by the side of the bed and sneaks a look at the woman. He creeps out of bed, grabs his clothes and starts headed downstairs. We see that he’s no catch either. The voiceover intones something like, “Anyone can handle having a bad one night stand. But not when it’s for the rest of your life.” And then we see the wedding picture of the couple. Screen goes to black and you see the web address. “When divorce is not an option.”

I was so offended that I looked up the website.

It’s a “discrete” dating service. To have an affair.

I’m NOT naive. There are hookup sites all over the internet. However, they don’t seem to “promote” affairs. They’re more of a whomever can do whatever (or whomever) they want, and here’s a way to connect. This site on the other hand is promoting itself as the solution to marital discord. The FAQ is both interesting and appalling all at once. I don’t want to copy the content here, because I don’t know the law lines on copy stealing vs. the right to criticize.

My husband and I have been married 11 years. Long, hard years. I’ve born two children. I’m bigger than I used to be. I’m older, and life has worn me down. That’s all true. I’m too busy to fuss over myself too much. You know what, though? The same is true of my husband. Neither one of us is running into the arms of another person. And if there are such problems in the marriage that another person feels the need to have an affair? Then those problems need to be addressed – not “safe discrete options” given to them.

My husband encouraged me to write this. I asked for his impression.

It’s insinuating that marriage is just an extension of a one night stand and everybody makes mistakes – it’s bullshit. It basically makes me feel like every marriage is in the same boat of a couple getting married in Vegas while drunk after knowing each other for two hours.

I don’t have anything else to say on the subject, I suppose. The site exists. Obviously people are making use out of it or else it wouldn’t have been in business for the last 8 years. They’re making a profit. The network (which I will be dealing with separately) are making a profit. There’s nothing illegal (I don’t think) about it, since nobody pays attention to the fidelity laws still in existence.

But it says a lot about today’s society that a company like that is so mainstream that it is shown on TV during prime watching hours. Like it was an ad for canned soup. It’s NOT taboo. And that’s a sad, sad shame.

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