Okay. You know what? If I have to travel one of your people – on Monday – FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY – Do me a favor and let me know WHEN YOU FIND OUT. Do not expect magic. I’m good. I know that. But a little newsflash for you – I’M NOT THE ONE TO LOOK TO FOR MIRACLES. DAMMIT – you should have let me know a week ago when you found out the dates. Now I’ve got 2 PAs, and assistant, and a manager down my throat to get this done, AND I’M ALREADY MOVING AS FAST AS I CAN.

And now YOU have the nerve to be down my throat about it too?? You’re the one who fucked up!!

And yes, it will be done – even though today they’ve already changed all the travel on me, so “he can go visit a friend.” Yes, I will make it happen. Yes, this person who’s traveling will be happy, the PAs will be happy, the assistant, and the manager – all happy, ’cause I made their client happy.

BUT I AM NOT HAPPY WITH YOU.

Someone emailed a list of of the Stella Awards – and it’s just amazing. I cannot believe what people will do to get money. I checked the site and the material is copyrighted, so go look for yourself.

I HATE FLEAS. I don’t know how how how on earth to deal with this. We’ve tried:

• flea collars
• cheap stuff on the back of the neck
• The expensive stuff is next
• flea shampoo
• house spray
• carpet powder
• fogging

I can’t take much more of this.

I’m sure I’ve written on this before. The Mother Guilt. I won’t even touch on the guilt that I feel coming from outside sources. I just want to talk about MY guilt.

The working-outside-the-home guilt. You see, I don’t want to. I never have. I’ve always wanted to be a homebody, stay-at-home wife and mother. That’s not financially possible right now and the guilt is endless. Joseph has so many problems, many I feel would be helped, although not solved, if he wasn’t in daycare after school. I hate leaving Logan in the care of daycare. I just… I don’t know…

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