NOTE: The following post is all true however written during a fit of PMS, and therefore is felt a little more acutely.

I don’t know where this entry is going to go, but I know I need to write.

Bottom line? I hurt.

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You know what? This is gonna be a whiney, bitchy post. But I think I need to get it out of my system before I really bite someone’s head off.

First off – this heat is killing me. Not only do we not have AC at home – I don’t have it in my truck. I haven’t worn makeup in a couple of weeks, because I end up sweating on the way to work – not to mention on the way home. There’s no shade in the parking lot (I have my own spot). I crack the windows, but by the time I get out of here, there’s just no way to cool it down. Yesterday’s drive was just so miserable, and the house so miserable that literally the first thing I did when I walked in the door was strip down to my underwear. I didn’t even say hello to anyone. Although Poe was HEEEEeeellllllo! Naked wife! Not only do we have the heat, but weird humidity. So, I have my hair in a bun. Not as a fashion statement, but because the weather is making it act WEIRD. I do not have antennae, so looking like I do is really unnecessary. Bad hair days do not make a woman feel good.

This morning everybody in the house was just pick pick pick picking at each other. The kids were whiny brats, but so were Poe and I. Witness this exchange (keeping in mind that we almost never talk this way to each other):

Me: “Can you please deposit this $100? We really need it in the account” (thought bubble: which he was supposed to do last weekend)

Poe: “Can’t you do it?” (thought bubble: I already am taking both kids to the babysitter, do it yourself, since you’re by yourself…. Bitch)

Me: “Fine. I’ll do it.” (bitch.)

Poe: SSssiiiigggghhhh “Okay I’ll do it.” (bitch.)

Me: “No – I’ll do it. You never say you don’t want to unless you reallllllly can’t stand the thought.” (bitch.)

Poe: “Whatever.” (bitch)

Me: “And now you’re mad. You only say whatever when you’re mad.”

Silence until all parties leave.

Okay so show of hands of people who want to be a fly on the wall tomorrow when both adults quit smoking, one has major PMS already, with a heat wave, no air conditioning, and no grandparents to take the kids?

This should be really fun.

… the reason I feel like crap??? Behold:

Scenario one:
Child, “I want juice, please.”
Me, “No, you just had some, but you asked very politely.”
Child, “I want juice.”
Me, “No.”
Child, “I waaaaaaaaaannnnnttttt jjjjuiuuuuuiuiiiiiiiiceeeeeee.”
Me, “No.”
Child, “I waaaaaaaannnnnntttttt ittttt nooooooowwwwww.”
Me, “No.”
Crying ensues. Angst. Slamming things, all of which I ignore as the answer is still, “no.”

Scenario two:
Child, “I want juice, please.”
Dad, “No. You just had some.”
Silence.

Anyone else have homicidal tendencies? I just don’t know who to use them on. Child or dad?

Complete nonsequiter…

I started Budeprion last Wednesday, which is the generic for Wellbutrin. In case you haven’t heard of it it’s an antidepressant. I’m going to be trying to stop smoking (again). Both ’cause all the healthy things I do I think in the back of my mind, “Why bother being healthy if I’m still smoking.” Like it’s just, you know, I guess undoing everything I may be doing. Not to mention that little promise I made to my mother. Anyway, I started a half dose on Wednesday for one week, then I’ll start a full dose this Wednesday. I’m not to try to quit until I’ve been on everything for 2 weeks, which will be a week from this Wednesday. I’m also in the process of reading The Easy Way to Stop Smoking, which was recommended by Ellen Degeneres – she used it to stop, and so she mentioned it on her show. Heck. I’ve tried cold turkey, hypnosis, the gum, the patch, why not actually read a book? So – I’m going to be quitting. Huh. Ten years is a long time to do something.

Anyway… So I start the medication and yesterday I got a rash. A bad, itchy spreading fast one. It’s red and has striations through it, and it’s bumpy. I don’t think it’s the drug, as I’ve had this rash twice before and that doctor I had before couldn’t tell me how I got it. However, Prednisone works in 2 days to get rid of it, and I had some from the last time. Of course, I’m now on this really strong medication, and it’s Saturday, so I can’t call the doctor to see if I can mix the meds. BUT! My insurance has a nurse line, where you can talk to a registered nurse. She took all my info, and why I don’t think it’s the medication, and researched both medications, and said that there are no interactions listed between the two of them. So, not I’m on 2 strong medications… A steroid and and antidepressant. Which is unusual for me. And annoying.

Even more so when you’re itchy.

I just paid $50 for a half a tank of gas. As in 1/2, half, 0.5, HALF a tank.

This is utterly ridiculous.

That is all.