This lesson is for the drivers I encountered this morning.

If you need to park, and there are approximately 40,000 empty parking spaces nearby (especially since there’s no one there but you and I,) please do not choose the spot next to me, where I am quite obviously unloading two children, two backpacks, and one lunchbox. It’s creepy, and dangerous. You had 40,000 other options to choose from.

The law of merging: when a freeway goes from 2 lanes to 1 lane, you merge one and one, one and one, left then right, left then right. See?! Everyone gets a turn! When you decide you’re going to take my turn? You know, to get that ONE CARLENGTH ahead of us… This makes me angry. And trust me, I’m going to do everything in my power to not let you in, should you need to get in my lane later down the freeway. And I’ll enjoy it.

Ok, now YOU… You know who you are. You’re just an f’ing idiot. When you’re on a busy street, busy anyway, but now filled with commuting traffic… You do not STOP and DRIVE IN REVERSE, because you missed that particular driveway. YOU ARE AN IMBECILE!! Then you go and block THREE lanes of busy traffic to do a sort of reverse three-point maneuver to get into that driveway. All three lanes of completely stopped traffic thank you.

Thank you. Carry on.

Why didn’t you people tell me? You know me. You know the way my family rolls.. one crisis after another. You couldn’t have warned me?

I mean I know I should have known myself, but I was too busy being an optimist – it’s how we survive.

Weekend one of our home renovation saga:
Project one status: Incomplete
Casualties: One patio table
Causality: Fire

Y’all didn’t tell me our luck would spill over.

I will be back. I’m not sure when. My mother is in the hospital again. She made it through the night. Which comes on the heels of the first day of school, Jeannette’s death anniversary, a blown tire, and plumbing problems. I’ll be back as soon as my hands (and thoughts) aren’t so full.

To be honest, I’m not sure I can write yet anyway – thoughts are swirling around and I don’t know if I can make sense of them yet.

Bear with me.

I awoke this morning to a nasty headache, thanks to my sinuses and the weather. I then had to stop brushing my teeth and rinse my mouth unless I wanted to experience Dire Consequences. I realized later that it was the Excedrin hitting my empty but caffeinated stomach.

I know that it’s beyond banal and boring to talk about the weather but really? I know I live in Southern California, and I know I’m a native. I should be used to it, right? Right? Yeah but then you take into account the 4 days of “severe weather alerts” from weather.com… They put the weathermen in an excited tizzy, but it’s just miserable. And at the bottom of the weather alert I saw this, “CHECK UP ON RELATIVES AND NEIGHBORS.” Like Hey You! Someone might actually die from this weather, so check in with everybody ok?

So yeah. Ugh.

Hey You. You know who I’m talking to. Would it kill you to JUST ONCE invite me too? I’m one of you. And it hurts my feelings to come out and see you all gone. Again. No invitation. Nothing. But you’re all gone together. And it hurts when I hear the planning. Am I really that annoying?

I guess I am.

Don’t worry. I’ll eat lunch alone.

Again.