Thought I’d be all domestic today, and put dinner in the crockpot. Homemade chicken corn chowder. Set it on, and forgot about it.
At dinner time, I found out I never plugged the darn thing in.
We ate McDonalds.
explosions
So. The world is exploding around me. Let’s see if I can basically get this all in niblets. I’m sorry if it sounds disjointed, but I need to get it all out.
So yesterday I posted about Joseph doing really well. Not so much now.
My brother-in-law has been arrested. I have no details. So – needless to say Poe’s a worried wreck.
And last night I had a complete and utter meltdown. I would say a nervous breakdown, but I have no need for medication today, so my guess is it wasn’t that severe. But, I think a lot of pent up shit just boiled over. I feel better today, which tells me it was needed. Joseph’s meltdown started it, but it all just came out. A lot of stuff about our marriage, and our lives, and the kids, and the grand scheme of things. I’m still married. Staying that way. I’m okay. But we still have to continue our f’d up lives, and that’s ok too. We’re not alone, we’re together, and we’re doing it together. Again. For the last couple of years I feel like I’ve been doing it alone. I don’t think I am anymore.
grump
It’s not shaping up to be a good day. Wasn’t a good weekend either.
As an aside? Where were the picketers this morning? Or do I just get to work too early?
Anyway. Marriage. It’s amazing to me that one can promise (and mean it) to love honor and obey, and then just wanna smack the living crap outta them right upside the head. I’m not going to into that any further except to say that I think i’ve beaten away the demons for now. And he knows what up, so it’s no surprise to him. But jimminychristmas this marriage crap is hard.
And as for parenting. What part of “Please don’t talk right now” means “Talk right now?”
I’ve been sick for a week and a half and now I’m starting to get grouchy.
~~
New entry up at Special Need Parent.
Some ranting
A rant. Two rants.
One. When I complain about my children and parenting, do NOT tell me “Well, you had them! You don’t get to complain about it!”
Excuse me? So… When your transmission goes out, do I get to tell you “Well you bought the car! You don’t get to complain about it!” Or the house. Or taking care of your elderly parents? No. Of course not. So when this parenting gig gets tough, I’m gonna complain. ‘Cause I’m human. ‘Cause they’re human. And because I must vent before my wee little head pops straight off my body.
Two. When I complain about my children and parenting, do NOT tell me, “You actually have children, so don’t complain. Do you know how many infertiles there are out there who would kill for the children you’re complaining about?”
Um. Yeah. I do. I was one thanks. Got two up in heaven thanks. Their misfortune and pain (and trust me – their pain is extreme) and my complaints have absolutely nothing to do with each other. And guess what… They have their own complaints. Their infertility treatments, trying each each month, or the adoption process all have their very own issues, pain, complaints both large and small. And you know what? That has nothing to do with the problems I have in parenting.
The bottom line is this. I’m raising two kids with special needs. It’s hard. If I have to vent, and you have a problem with it? Go away. I’m not forcing you to be here. You see, there’s a limit. If you come here – I’m talking about ME. If I were to visit an infertile’s blog, I would NEVER complain about my kids in her comments. It’s just rude – ’cause I’m at HER place. The flip side, is I would never expect someone to come to MY blog and “complain” about how hard it is to get their child into the gifted program. ‘Cause then I might have to shove Joseph’s IEP up their ass. You see? My place.
So, now go to your own place and complain about me there.
raving lunatic
A few random things from today…
This morning I said to Joseph, “You know money doesn’t grow on trees around here!”
I am now officially my mother.
***
A couple people need me to tell them a few things.
First YOU! The Honker! I came THISCLOSE to getting out of my car and “talking” to you – but decided to provide a good example to my children. Let me explain… I’m sorry that the people in front of me got out of their car faster, and therefore left sooner than me. I’m sorry my children took a minute to be able to get out of the car. They were trying! But you HONKING… not just a short toot, but full on, honk honk honk hooooooonk… Come ON!My children were half out when the others in front of me left. Wnat did you want me to do? “Hang on boys, we’re going for a Ride!” I don’t think so. That’s unsafe. I know you’re late. ‘Cause guess what. I was late too. My own fault (well, no, it was the electricity dude’s but that’s another story.) And you don’t see me complaining. By the way… The honking in impatience while a 5 year old navigates his way out of a vehicle? GREAT example to your own children. Truly. And the bottom line is, you jackass, I didn’t do anything wrong. I was in front of the “Don’t drop off before this point” sign. I was going to wait and pull up. But then I noticed the car in front of me had just gotten there, and were getting out too. I didn’t do anything WRONG! It was the equivalent of dumbasses who honk in a stopped traffic jam. Where is anyone supposed to go? Only this time, with children! And for your information, you idiot, you scared my kids. And THAT’s why I almost busted your ass. Oh, and the carline volunteer calmed them by telling them you were doing the wrong thing, and that they were fine, and mommy didn’t do anything wrong. I wish I knew who it was. I might sneak an announcement in the school newspaper, since, you know, I write it.
***
And you liar! Who in their right mind bald-faced lies at work? I don’t mean white lies, or crafty manipulation to get your sorry behind out of trouble… I mean flat out lies. So bald that the others stuck working in this little twilight zonish orbit you’re in actually think that they’re crazy. Until someone says to you, “They’re lying.” And the light bulb goes on. Oh! That’s why nothing was making sense. Because it didn’t dawn on you that someone would be that much of an idiot.
***
And what makes you think it’s okay to bust into a common cabinet and leave a mess for everyone else to clean up? I understand having to make refreshments for a meeting… But do you have to leave everything strewn across the counter? And actual trash in the sink? Leaving it for someone else (namely me) to clean up? Gee, just like home.
And dude, what was with the salt anyway? Who puts salt in their coffee?
***
OK, I think I’m done now. There were a few other incidents as well. It’s been a really really long day.
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