Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Don’t mess with me

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I am in one hell of a mood today.

Seriously.

We had to be out of the house a half hour earlier today for a Logan meeting at school.  Well you know what?  That sucks.  I have my kids trained to a simple morning routine.  They know what to do, and what to expect as do I.  I’m not a morning person, so it’s important to keep to the script man.

But Noooooo.  The school decides that before school is better for meetings.  I got everyone together, and everything is fine, and no one is late.  Great.

Except that now my brain is a pile of mush.  And then I get to work, and there’s no milk for my coffee or my cereal.  You see, yesterday, my order for milk came.  Someone at work told the delivery person to put the stuff in the file room, and then didn’t tell anyone else it was there.  Nor did they ask about perishables.  Which we have a lot of – this is not new nor is it rocket science.  As a result, I’m out of milk, and that delivery was cottage cheese.

No breakfast for me.

I knew about the milk.  But I couldn’t eat at home.  See above regarding routine.  And earliness.  And the fact that Poe chose today of all days to be nice and let me sleep in.  So I woke up a half an hour LATER than normal, when I have to be out of the house a half an hour EARLIER.  There’s math in there somewhere.

And I don’t want to be here at work, although that’s another whole rant.

Oh.  And when a craig’s list ad says “Editor/Manager” that screams editing and managing job, doesn’t it?  Not an entrepreneurial  “opportunity” where they expect 60 hours a week, no pay, and oh, they’ll pay you a percentage when the website makes money.

I don’t think so.

Dude.

Don’t mess with me.

Trapped

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I’m feeling rather down today.  I know I need to give it time, but I was really hoping to find a job from home.  Looks like that’s not meant to be.  Technically, I can go home in 2012.  4 years from now – when all our student loan debt would be paid off.  Which, in the grand scheme of things, not so terribly bad.  The kids will only be 10 and 12.

On the other hand, I feel trapped.  I can’t move to a cheaper state – my parents are here, and I’m the only kid who’ll lift a finger to help them.   I need more time in the day to be able to help them.

Logan’s surgery will be in the next couple of years, and I have no idea how long of an absence I’ll have to take from work to stay home with him.

Joseph’s case has a lot of meetings.  A lot.

I need flexibility.  I don’t have any.  I’m not mothering them.

And then I got notice today that it’s time to re-enroll in daycare for next year.  And it made me cry.  Because I thought I wouldn’t have to.  But I do.  I’m really struggling today.  Really struggling with the fact that I’ll probably be right where I’m at for another 4 years, when I really know deep down it’s not what’s good for the family.  But I’m trapped by circumstances.

I’m waiting on God.  I know where He wants me.  I’m just having trouble with the how part.  Once a plan is made, I like to go for it.  Gung ho.

I hate whining.  And yet, here I am doing it.   But dear God, I don’t want to fill that enrollment form out.

The Pregnant Man

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I’m about to make my first foray into stating my opinion on what is a controversial topic. First, I would close comments if I could, but I don’t know how. That being the case, please be nice to me. I’m stating an opinion. Just as you all can on your own blogs.

I tend to stay away from controversy, religion, and politics. It comes from my fears and anxiety about confrontation. I’ve shared personal religious stuff – but in regards to my life, not in regards to is/isn’t, should/shouldn’t. And in politics, I don’t go there, because I feel ignorant.

Let me share with you the facts, and then I’ll let you know what I think.

Thomas Beattie and his wife, Nancy, couldn’t have children. Well. Nancy couldn’t. Thomas is a post-surgical male who chose to keep his reproductive organs. Nancy had had a hysterectomy, so rather than hire a surrogate, Thomas became pregnant via artificial insemination. He’s now about 6 months along. It’s a People Magazine exclusive this week, and he’ll be on the Oprah show tomorrow.  I have some thoughts on this.

Thomas tells Oprah in a show clip, “I’m a person and I have the right to have my own biological child.”

No, Thomas, you don’t.  None of us do.  We may choose to have children.  We may feel children to be a blessing.  We may accidentally have children.  We may not be able to have children.  But none of us DESERVE children.  Bad people have children ALL the time.

The “pregnant man” is speaking out about his decision to have a child – saying, “I’m a person and I have the right to have my own biological child.”

Again, you have the “right” to a biological child.  Tell that to all the infertile people desperate for a child.  Don’t they have that “right”?  Well why don’t they?  So far I’ve not heard him speak about family, or about love, or about parenting a child.   Again, no one has the “right” or else bad people wouldn’t have children either.

It’s not about you.

I’m not okay with any of this.  This isn’t about gay or straight, transgender, hetero, religion, or any of it.  My question is when is enough enough?  Seriously.  He CHOSE to become a male.  But now that him and his wife need something from a woman that she can’t provide, he is CHOOSING to use his own female biology.  But when is enough enough?

Look.  Here’s my problem.  The GLBT community wants to be honored and accepted in their communities.  They want to both let be to live their own lives, as well as have the civil liberties such as marriage, and the abolishment of discrimination and such.  I get that concept I really do.  My problem in THIS instance is… 1)  It seems to be about his rights and he deserves, instead of loving a child and having a family.  And 2)  Accept me!  Oops no wait…  Changed my mind!  Let me just do this one thing…  Ok, back to male, ACCEPT ME!

I see pregnancy as a process and it doesn’t define who I am. Ironically, being pregnant doesn’t make me feel any more female or feminine.

I suppose he’s just using his own body as a vessel.  My gut reaction still says “wrong.”

Am I just the most bigoted person in the world, and just exposed it to the whole world, or is there something wrong with this.

Again.  PERSONAL OPINION.  While I’d like to hear your opinion I don’t want to hear about how you hate me, or the person who commented before you.

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