Hello there everyone.

Just a short sweet update on us…

Jay

Still in school, still in nightcrew, still my hubby, nothing new with

him.

Joseph

He has a cold. Not too happy about either I might add. He LOVES it at

his new babysitter’s house. He actually asks me to go. And no tears

when I leave him. I’m so happy that he’s happy. Won’t go near Santa

though, so no picture this year. First time I have seen him afraid of

any person before. However, he’ll point at Santa and talk about him

from a distance. Maybe next year. His vocabulary is growing. He’s got 1

– 10 down. And he’s using his vocabulary to describe things. Sparkly

things, or things he just really likes are “pretty” which he says just

fine, and “boo-tee-ful”. I just love the way he says it. And if

something is beautiful to him, he’ll stand there in absolute awe, and

say the word in a hushed voice. On the other hand, he is REALLY turning

into a holy terror when he’s mad. I don’t know WHAT we’re going to do

about his temper. The only saving grace about it is, if I’m not with

him, he’s very good about minding the person he’s with, and minding his

manners. He’s 2 1/2 and says please (peas), thank you (tank you),

excuse me (scuuzie), and covers his mouth when he coughs. Not when he

sneezes though – those kind of catch him off-guard. He’s knows how to

whisper, and will be quiet when asked. I’m very proud of his behavior

when I’m not with him. When I am with him however, everything I just

said flies out the window and he turns into one of THOSE children. You

know – the ones you give wide berth to at the mall, or ask yourself why

doesn’t that mother just leave with him? In answer to that question –

it’s not as easy as you think, when you actually NEED those groceries,

and who’s going to watch him while you do that, and it may be another

week before you have another opportunity, and the little one needs the

formula TONIGHT, and really it bothers me than it bothers you. Unless

you have one of these children, you have no idea the absolute

mortification one feels when your child has a temper tantrum. The next

time you see a child acting like that, take a good look at the parents.

I don’t mean the obvious expression. I mean the tension in the

shoulders. Take a long at their chest. Are they breathing hard or

taking long deep breaths to calm themselves. Do they have little fine

lines around their mouth, as they are forced to remain calm? Do they

have bags under their eyes from exhaustion? And by the way – there’s

nothing we can do in public. If you’re a spanking parent, you can’t

spank your child. Because if someone sees you, many times they call

security on you. I’m serious. If you do nothing and ignore the child

(in hope that your inattention will get him to see that he’s not going

to get his way that way), you get looks and comments. There’s no

“right” way to handle the situation – because it’s a temper tantrum!

There’s one thing that someone did the other day. It was wonderful and

almost made me cry. I’m trying to maneuver the double stoller through a

whole lot of rude people cutting me off because hey, they’re more

important than anyone else on this earth, my son is raising a holy

ruckus, flinging himself around and screaming at the top of his lungs

to let him go (he was strapped in). A lady was walking by, and just

took me by the shoulder and said “Mom, tomorrow he’s going to be 25.

It’s just a phase.” Patted me and moved on. It was so nice to know that

not everyone out there was thinking I was an awful mother.

Logan

Has 3 teeth now. He got his first picture with Santa – so adorable.

He’s smiling so big you can see all 3 of those teeth. As he gets older,

he’s happier and happier. He’s VERY ill though. He has bronchitis that

won’t go away, and he’s now on 3 different medications to try and get

him over it. It’s to the point where he’s losing weight (on the

medications he can’t keep solid food down) so it’s pretty bad. But I

just simply don’t want to dwell on it right now, so I won’t. No I’m not

in denial, but I’m the one who has to hold him down to force an oxygen

mask over his face so he can get his breathing treatments, so I just

really don’t want to think about sickness right now. He’s SO close to

crawling. It’s absolutely adorable to watch cause he’s got this really

fast rocking thing down where he revs up and launches himself to

skootch, instead of crawling. If he tries to crawl, he goes backwards,

and he gets this really confused look on his face, since that wasn’t

his destination (hence his new launching strategy).

Well, goodness, it’s been a while since I

wrote. Let’s see. Updates on our lives.

Jay’s school: He’s doing well. He enjoying it. He’s getting good

grades. He has a whole week off sure to the holiday (Yay!).

Jay’s work: His boss is making his life hell, and ours by extension,

since he’s messing with Jay’s hours. We have schedules, and daycare,

and time with each other, not to mention Jay’s sleep to consider. It’s

bad enough that Jay’s putting in for a transfer to another store.

My work: Going very well. We’re putting a serious dent/boulder/hole

into our debt, so I’m very excited about that. I thought I was having

problems with someone at work, but I think that she’s gotten over her

snit, so I don’t think that there’s anything to mention in that arena.

I’m not going to the gym as much as I’d like though.

The kids: Are doing okay – they both had a nasty virus last week, which

put them at fevers of 104. Not pretty. And then yesterday, we took

Logan to the hospital and after tons of painful testing (I was crying,

twice – it was pretty bad), it was determined that he has bronchitis,

and he’s on some pretty powerful steroids for a few days. Urine, blood,

blood cultures, chest x-rays, breathing treatments, Tylenol, and huge

antibiotic/lidocaine shot, Pregnazone (steroids), all on a 6 month old.

He had a really really hard day. So he’s at home with daddy. Joseph

went for his first day today at his daycare. My mom took him, so Jay

could stay home with Logan, and so that she could stay longer than me

if there were any problems. Her name is “Alma”, however, my little

Sesame Street fan calls her “Elmo”. My mom said there were NO problems.

In fact my mom tried to get him to come outside to meet Alma, but he

was already in the house, where the other kids were, and there was no

way. So – my mom felt good about the whole thing. My mom has better BS

meters than I do, so I trust her judgement.

We’re going to San Jose for Christmas, to visit with Jay’s family. I

don’t like being away from home for the holidays, but I promised myself

that we would go every other year, to be fair. Jay has a large extended

family, and I want him to keep up with the relationships. He would let

it fall by the wayside, just because he doesn’t think of stuff like

that. So last year we stayed home, and this year we’re going. I think

it’s a good compromise. Not to mention the fact that we’ll be okay for

money this year. Yay!

I’ve actually lost a little weight, so that’s pretty cool for me. I’m

excited about that.

Since I don’t exactly have the most exciting life in the world, I think

that’s all for now. —————————————- 1:31 p.m.

November 26, 2002 20021126.html 11/26 Here in Southern California, the

winds have been crazy. Last night, I was home alone with the kids (Jay

was at work), and things were banging and hitting the house. Joseph

ended up in our bed. I’m not sure what time, but we both woke up with a

big crash, and Joseph ended up in my lap. I got him back to sleep and

decided not to investigate, since I never heard any breaking glass or

anything. This morning when I got up, once Logan was happy, I went

outside to investigate. I actually had to call Jay to let him know not

to park in our driveway. It was littered with those little scratchy

branches that look harmless, but can ruin your undercarriage. The was a

branch leaning across the driveway right where he would not see it

driving in. Plus a huge portion of a tree fell on the house, which is

what Joseph and I heard in the middle of the night. It was leaning up

to the house, and by the time Jay got home, it had fallen into the

driveway as well. Right where the car would go. My parents were

supposed to go out to Lancaster to visit my aunt and uncle with Logan

today, but I convinced them not to go. I didn’t want them to make that

drive in their tall truck, and Lancaster is even windier on a normal

day.

I took Joseph to the new daycare for the first time this morning (my

mom took him yesterday). I think this will be good for him in another

way I hadn’t thought about. We live in a white community. REALLY white,

high fallutin’. We’re not, but we live in the “poor” section. Read:

Regular middle class. Anyway, Joseph is the only white child at the

daycare. All the other kids are hispanic, including his caregivers. And

it’s a huge contrast when you look at them together, because not only

is my son white, he’s WHITE WHITE, as in fair, sensitive, irish skin.

And very light blue eyes. So I’m excited about this, because he’ll get

to see that not everyone in the world looks and talks like our family

(his caregiver also speaks spanish to the kids, and he’s the only one

not bilingual). So I really think that this is a good thing. You see,

my father is a redneck – big time. He’s a great papa, but I also don’t

want his beliefs spilling over into my son. Anyway, I drop him off, and

he doesn’t want me to leave, he’s trying to share his toys with me.

Alma asked him if he’d like to play with her (no, of course), but then

she said “I’ve got raaaaaaace cars!” That child dropped me like a hot

potato. I said for him to give me a kiss, and he actually sniffed when

he did it – like, get outta here mom, I’ve got important business to

attend to. He’s 2 1/2 people. But I don’t care. As long as I don’t get

the full tantrum, wrapping himself around my knees, crying, “no go work

mommy!” which sends me into crying my whole ride to work feeling like

the world’s most calous mom, I’m happy. And I like that fact that even

though she only has a few kids, she has a helper. Anyway, when I left I

had a good feeling.

By the way, today’s my ex-fiance’s birthday. There’s something sick

about my remembering that.

Wow. Someone who’s on the notify list wrote with

basically a “hi how are you” message, which reminded me that I have not

written in here in a while. Then I realized that I actually do have

something to say. I get bored with writing about the same old days and

the same old feelings. But stuff is going on.

First off we’re getting rid of our babysitter. My parents dropped the

kids off today for me, since we were running late. My mom calls me and

says, “Guess what she told me today? She said that Logan is so awful on

Mondays obviously because you hold him all weekend”. Okay, I’d love to

know where in hell she got that impression. I have a 2 1/2 year old.

Plus, I’m trying to do all the housework/errands/random stuff that I

haven’t had time to do during the week. Not to mention paying bills,

grocery shopping, clipping coupons, amongst changing diapers, getting

snacks, juice, milk, water, formula, fixing the broken toys, not to

mention saying the word “no” 5,642 times a day. Yeah, I blissfully hold

and rock my infant all weekend so that he’s a holy terror on Mondays.

That’s such bullshit. First off, now that he’s not colicky anymore he’s

1000 times better than he was. However, he’s teething. He hurts. So he

fusses. But she doesn’t put the oragel in his mouth (why, I don’t

know… Probably the same reason he comes home with the same amount of

formula he left with, and the same clothes, and the same amount of

balmex, etc…). Plus, she wanted more money, she got more money. Then

she wanted to be paid hourly, so we paid her hourly. But now that she’s

being paid hourly, because they left early to visit with their

grandparents, she gets less money, so she’s complained about that too.

I’ve gone on two occasions, where the door was locked, and I had to

ound on the door for 10 minutes so she would get out of bed. I’ve gone

once, where the door was open, but I had to go in her room, and get her

out of bed. Jay went and she never got up to open the door, and then

her uncle showed up, so he went and banged on her window to get her out

of bed. She has got to be the most UNPROFESSIONAL woman I have EVER

known. And she’s complaining about the money we give her, and she’s

uneducated (not even a GED), unliscensed, no CEC credits, and the

money’s tax free. Whatever. We thought we would give her the

opportunity because she’s a friend of the family, “Didn’t want to take

advantage of us financially”, and the kids would be in a “home” instead

of a “daycare”. Ug. Not even. So, we’re looking for someone else. I

found someone who’s HIGHLY recommended, and she has room for BOTH kids,

and after she thought about it, she’s willing to drop her price to fit

our budget (more than half my paycheck which is currently going to the

other babysitter). We have an appointment to go see her on Friday

evening with the kids. I truly hope this works out. Truly Truly. Pray

and cross your fingers, because if this doesn’t work out I actually may

have to quit my job – which I was just starting to love, and we were

actually starting to make a dent in our debt.

In other news, Jay is really loving school. He’s always wanted to make

buildings. So while I’m in the shower this morning, he leaves a message

on the answering machine, “Hi baby, I just wanted to tell you that I

just made A WHOLE SKYSCRAPER out of just NEWSPAPER. Need I say more? My

26 year old husband is playing with paste and paper in school and

loving it. We’re going to be $24,000 in debt in a year and a half

because of this. There should be something wrong with this picture, but

if it means he makes a career out of doing what he loves, so be it.

Joseph is doing well. He’s got all his colors down pat. Well, except

for the weird ones, like gold or silver, or those cars that go down the

road where you have to ask yourself “is that green or blue?”. He’s also

got down purple and white (for some reason he mixed up the two). Now

he’s working on his counting. He actually can get to 10 with only

mixing one number. For example 1-2-3-4-5-6-10-7-8-9. Where that number

is changes every time, but he’s doing really well, if you ask me.

However. Potty training is kiiling me. I’m actually going to have to

buy a book. We’re not getting anywhere with it. He’ll sit on his potty.

He’ll watch us go potty. He even says bye bye when we flush. But he

just DOES NOT seem to make the connection with what goes into the

potty, and the potty itself. Which tells me that he’s not ready. But

good Lord, he’s 2 1/2. Changing him is NOT a pleasant experience. But

there are these lists. You know, if you answer “yes” to 5 or more of

these than your child is ready. He’s not making those lists. So, maybe

he really isn’t ready. It’s not like I’ve done this before. But they

actually have the lifstyle series of dummy bookes. I’m going to buy

“Potty Training for Dummies”. After all “HTML for Dummies” is how I

learned to make a webpage. Who knows, maybe it’ll help with my son too!

But that doesn’t mean I want anyone seeing me read that one. In other

news, my in-laws are coming up in a couple of weeks. They’re going to

be staying with us, since one of the nights we’re going to spend the

night at friends, and they’re going to stay with the kids. I’m not sure

I like this. I’m worried she’ll find somthing to fret over. This also

means, that since they’ll be using our bedroom and shower, and cooking

etc., I have to CLEAN clean the entire house. Why do I care what she

thinks???

Jay and I had a date night last night. It’s the

first time out alone in about 5 months. A new baby will do that to ya.

Anyway, after we dropped the kids off at the babysitter and got in the

car, Jay said that we weren’t allowed to talk about the kids, it was

just him and me. I thought that was a wonderful idea. But let’s face

it, when your kids are as small as ours are, they sort of encompass

your lives. So, we has a little trouble getting started. So, he came up

with another great idea. He said that from then on we were going to

pretend that it was our very first date. As if we were just meeting

that night. It was great. We talked about books, and movies and stuff.

Even though we know each other’s tastes in those things, we were

talking and asking questions as if we didn’t know. It was really

interesting and fun. And even after 4 1/2 years of marriage, because we

were doing this, I actually were got the “first-date jitters”. We went

way out of our way to this movie house called “The Bridge – Cinema de

lux”. It was a very cool place. And if you ask for the director’s

theater (they also have regular and IMAX), it’s $14, but they are

stadium seating with these wonderful huge leather seats, like first

class on an airplane. It was the first time that my knees didn’t start

to hurt during the movie, which they normally do – or my back for that

matter. After the movie (we saw Sweet Home Alabama), we went to the bar

(in the movie house), and had some great martinis (him, sour apple –

me, comopolitan), and chicken ceasar salads. It was actually great

portions, and the drinks weren’t watered down. We had such a wonderful

time, and got to reconnect, holding hands and making out a little and

everything 🙂 This was a really big deal for us, since one of us is

usually accessorized with a spit-up rag, spit-up, drool, and maybe

formula and anbesol in the mix, it was so nice to be dressed, and

romantic, and all that mushy stuff.

For once, I don’t feel stressed.

http://michelewilcox.com/84/