Today is my 31st birthday. I am 31 years old. Weird. So, for my birthday, I took the day off work. I went and had my nails done. Then I went and had my hair cut. I had her blow it out and hot iron it, so I have straight hair! I will not be taking a shower tomorrow, so I can have ONE MORE day of straight hair. I love it. I love it love it love it. I don’t remember if I’ve ever posted pictures of myself, but I have very curly, corkscrews, hair. If you attempt to blow dry my hair, you will simply end up with an afro. You must hot iron it as well. I don’t own a hot iron, and I’m not sure I would have the patience. I’ll post a picture later. Then I went and spent a gift card from my mother. Tonight, I’m going to a brass session for a film, and spending time with my boss, her friend the studio manager, and musicians. Then I’ll come home. A quiet but busy day.

Joseph lost another tooth. Now he’s missing his two front teeth. Oh my – he has a lisp.

I did not sign up for a family bed. When I was researching parenting before we had children, I specifically remember telling Jay I did not want a family bed. I am purely selfish. I love my pillow, I love my space, or else I cannot sleep. The kids (and cat), however, disagree. This morning, my head was hanging off the bed, and it was just a matter of time before the rest of me would follow. There’s a reason I go to a chiropractor, people.

I really need to sit down and write out a list/journal/tract of Joseph’s activities, so I can share with various doctors. I just don’t have it in me to rehash all the meanness right now. And I know I need to. Perhaps I’ll do it in a journal entry here, and just add as necessary with the edit function. In other news (or not) I’ve not heard anything from Jeannette. Either she is or she isn’t and my jumping at the mail/emails is not going to help matters. ugg. There’s support out there for adoptees, but I don’t technically fall into that category. I wonder if there is support out there for adult abandoned children? I must research.

My son lacks any empathy whatsoever. I don’t know how to give it to him. He doesn’t care that someone is hurt emotionally or physically by his actions, he cares that he got in trouble. I feel like I’m raising the bad seed. My other son is the very antithesis of that. Full of affection, and sorry when he hurts someone. I don’t understand what I’m doing right, what I’m doing wrong. I don’t understand anything anymore.