I took my test last night for the purple belt. I don’t technically know if I passed, but Master Shinn told everyone \”Congratulations,\” so I’m just not sure. I guess we’ll find out on Tuesday. But they really threw me. I guess I had no idea what to expect. I knew all the answers to the questions for this test in the handbook. And I learned my poomse. We did do the poomse, but they didn’t ask any questions. And there was an endurance test, and I sucked at it, because I’m getting (yet another) cold. Then they had us do sparring excersizes, and then free sparring. It was supposed to be light contact so we weren’t any protective gear. I’ve NEVER EVER sparred. I was really really sick when they were sparring in class, so I just haven’t been there when they’ve done it. I don’t even know the rules. What’s my target? What’s allowed? Can I go for the head/face? Can I go for the legs? Afterwards, teacher’s pet that I am, told Instructor Abel that I had never sparred, because I didn’t want to have it held against me. He replied, \”I know,\” in a voice that said that he knew, and threw me into the deep end on purpose. We also had to break a board, thicker than one we’ve ever done before, 1/2 inch. Which I did, no problem, I just wasn’t expecting it. It was supposed to be light contact on the sparring, but I managed to get myself slightly injured. I blocked a blow, and it hit the meaty under part of my forearm. My hand went numb, and the muscle went into spasm. I used our heating pad when I got home and a couple hours later, the muscle unclenched thank goodness. I’ve got a very slight bruise there (which is amazing since I bruise so easilly) and the muscle underneath is extraordinarilly tender, but at least it’s not in spasm anymore. Frankly, I’m not sure I deserve that purple belt, but then again, I’m not the one in the position to make that decision – Master Shinn is. We’ll see what happens on Tuesday. Jay has his first interview for a freelance job. Very cool. I can’t talk about it due to a confidentiality agreement. But Jay is very excited, and he interviews tomorrow. The kids are all sick again, with some pretty nasty colds. Unfortunately, Logan has a Synergis shot on Tuesday. I’m hoping that either his cold is better, or that they’ll do the shot anyway, because it’s supposed to help prevent RSV, and it’s sort of now or never.

So, the kids are sick. Again. And the strike is still going on. My God, how are some of these people, for whom that’s their only income, surviving? I’m sick. Again. So, there’s someone at work I’m having trouble with. I’m not sure why she’s giving me a problem all of a sudden. We used to be friends. Today is a fine example. I order the company Christmas cards. So, I asked everyone how many they needed, so that I could order the correct amount. Fine. I tehn asked everyone what the proper ratio was between international and domestic (we’re an international company) so that I could order the proper number of stamps. Her reply was, \”Can’t you use last years? You actually expect me to count (boss’s) contacts???\” Um, well, yeah. And I certainly didn’t keep track of the stamps someone asked me for last year. Now, this is a petty example, and believe me, I realize this. But it’s every single day. It’s starting to wear me down. I think that the problem is that she resents the amount of sick time I’ve taken this year. I’ve been sick, the kids and Jay have been sick, plus 2 surgeries, and a hospitalization for one of the kids. Frankly, it’s the first year the kids have been in daycare, and so they’ve picked up everything. One of the worst year’s in my life. But she is of the assumption that because I have used so much sick leave, I should use my vacation. I’m sorry, but when I stay home throwing up, or holding the head of someone throwing up, I don’t consider it vacation. Mental health days? Sure that’s vacation. Sick? Those are sick days. And besides that, my boss doesn’t have a problem with it. And I only work for him. I don’t answer to anyone else in the office – and I think that’s part of the problem as well. Everyone else answer’s to another boss (including her). I only answer to the president. He pretty much let’s me do whatever I want, as long as I get my work done (which I do). I think she resents that as well. Because she’s always making comments about why should I get to do XYZ – after all, she has seniority. UUUUUGgggghghhh. I’m so annoyed with her. So, Joseph just got back from the doctor’s. He did just great on everything. His eyes and ears are perfect. His weight and height are great. The doctor kept asking him how old he is, and he won’t say. He’s in a phase right now where he’s very literal. \”Come on sweetie\” to which he replies, \”I’m not SWEETIE I’m JOSEPH.\” So everytime the doctor asked if he was 3, he would reply, \”I’m not THREE I’m a BIG BOY.\” And the truth is, when we talk about his age, compared to his brother, that’s what we tell him. \”You’re older, so you’re a big boy now\”. I guess we should be telling him he’s 3. Just saw something in our building that was just a fashion nightmare. Ya gotta picture this… I’ll start at the toes and work my way up. Red heels, rose colored tights, a skirt wityh a base color of green with huge white polka-dots, a bright yellow shirt, and a hot pink scarf with little black polka-dots. What was she thinking?

I have new clothes. My mom took me Christmas shopping for my clothes, since that’s my gift, but I have to go with her due to sizes. I feel a lot better about things. Nothing’s better, I just feel better and am less depresed. Is this strike ever going to end?? I think the answer is no.

I don’t have much to say today. Just more of the same. Logan had a cardiologist appointment today. They even called the house yesterday to remind us. Jay gets there, and they say there’s no appointment. Some sort of mix-up. He can’t be seen. Reschedule to December. Um. I rescheduled the special vaccine for a week that he should have received last week for this. It’s just more of the same bullshit. Over and over and over again. Life just truly sucks right now. Don’t they realize that we were working with them, for when the doctor was in the office, yadda yadda yadda. Figure out what to do with the other kid, Jay gets no sleep, etc? I mean come on. It’s not easy to reschedule to whole day in order to take a baby to a half hour appointment. Bad year. Worse month. No end in sight. And I don’t get to quit. I wanna though.

The past week has been spent with all kinds of bodilly fluids coming from various orifices of all in my household. Mostly landing right on me. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, the stomach flu has landed. You know. The week before the flu shot was going to happen. I am just today starting to feel better. But I, of course, was not allowed to get sick, not really. Because I was the only one who seemed to be able to clean up after everyone else. And I’m having trouble at work. So, I to be here, which means I would just quietly go into the bathroom, lose my cookies, go back to my desk, and pretend to not be sick. Go home, pick the kids up from my parents house, and then tend to them all night. I do mean all night. Last night is the first night in a week I’ve slept without it being a 15 minute dozing. The strike is still on. Which means we still can’t pay rent. I have to take the car in. There won’t be a Christmas, since I literally can’t even afford a tree/food/gifts at this point. I can’t even buy Christmas cards. Nor can I send a letter, since that would mean postage. Things are pretty bleak around here. In addition, Jay’s school screwed up, which means he has to take a class over, and he won’t graduate until March. I still don’t know if I’ll have a job come January. Life, right now, sucks. It’s been a really bad year, and a truly awful 2 months. Still waiting for it to get better, but, that doesn’t seem to be happening. Jay keeps saying, \”it can’t get any worse\” – last time, I smacked him on the back of the head. ‘Cause everytime he says it, it does. This is why I haven’t been writing too much. There just isn’t any new news, and all the news is bad, therefore – I’d be whining. Again. Like today. Ugh.