Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Out of Sorts

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I’m a little out of sorts today. Not sure why. I have a big project due for work, so perhaps it’s that I have a deadline looming? I don’t know.

Luckily, I had a check come through, so I’m able to replace my desk lamp. I went to turn it on this morning, and nothing. I’ve gone through 3 lightbulbs in 2 months. So, I think the lamp has finally bit the dust. It lasted a long time though! I had it next to my bed growing up. For a cheapy lamp, it had a long long life. So I got Poe and I matching desklamps. Also cheapy – but the better ones are $100-$200 a piece! I can’t spend that on small lamps! It goes against my constitution. Anyway, they match the decor I’m attempting in the office (nice but not too masculine or feminine, going with the burgundy/navy blue color scheme) since Poe and I share the office. I definitely need one, because our office is off the bedroom, and it’s kept like a cave so Poe can sleep during the day, and I need to be able to work.

Logan lost a tooth last night (and made $3). That took me by surprise! He had told me one was a little loose, and then he stumbled in to bring it to me after he was supposed to be asleep. At least he didn’t swallow it. The adult tooth is rightthere where you can see it, so it looks like the baby really hung on a long time. I was worried he would have my teeth – his smile was so similar – but the gap in his front teeth is closing, and the one he lost last night is one of mine that are still baby. (Yes, I still have baby teeth at 36 years of age.) So, it looks like he dodged my tooth bullet. Now let’s hope both kids dodged their dad’s tooth issues.

OK. Gotta go get motivated to work.

Community – I Don’t Wanna

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I told you that we’re trying to be more prepared around here in the event of an emergency. Part of the planning of that includes creating community.

Think about it. Most of my friends are online. Either they’re my online friends, made while blogging. Or they’re old friends, and we connect online. But honestly? Only one lives nearby – even she is 1/2 hour away. I’m not so much “antisocial” as much as I am very solitary. I enjoy my solitude. And my life has shown me that relationships are messy (duh). Messy usually ends up very painful for me, and so I choose to withdraw. My husband and I both like to just be alone or with each other. I hate hate hate crowds as well. Joseph has social phobia, and so I got a special needs pass so he could enjoy Disneyland – and it was THE BEST TRIP I ever took there. So, he comes by it honestly. OK, now what if an emergency happens?

My friends are online. 99% of them are in another state. So – they can’t really help. In addition, there are a whole host of emergencies that will take out the electricity. No electricity, here, means no internet. I do have an old rotary phone, just in case, so my phone (a cordless with answering machine) isn’t dependent on electricity, but what if the phones go out? What if it’s extended? What if you need help? What if you need to gather for safety in numbers due to looting? Enter the need for local community.

I found some “Prepper” groups on Meetup.com. I’m going the Saturday after Thanksgiving for a meet and greet for coffee. These groups basically provide training on various things that people are experts at, and provide a local community. I’m dreading this meeting, but it is necessary if we’re serious. I’m just going to have to get over this – my own insecurities.

I know it sounds ridiculous all this prepping talk. But watching the world today… It just seems prudent. All these earthquakes in places that don’t have them, make me dread the next one in California. Strange weather. My area was flooding just this last weekend. Fires – of course. And the socio-political-economic climate seems to be on a razor’s edge that could go either way.

I know I sound crazy. But it’s my gut – And I have to listen to my gut. Which means leaving my comfort zone. I don’t wanna, but I gotta.

An Update

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Oh where to start, where to start…

Let’s just update you on all.

Joseph – started his first day of Middle School today.

Could we just have a moment of silence for me?

**shhhh**

OK. Enough said. Early in the summer we stopped Joseph’s meds. That turned out to be a disaster that I’d rather just forget. Suffice it to say… he’s back on his meds, and we’re not going to do that again anytime soon. Period. But he’s back on his meds – he’s started school, and he’s back to doing well.

Logan is still on summer break until 8/29. But he’s as ornery and funny as ever.

Poe is doing great, but has a current hatred for what he’s doing. There are some other possibilities on the table that are keeping us in a state of limbo, which I hate, but has the potential to be great. More on that later – if it pans out.

And me. I’ve been working my little tushie off. Which has left me no time for keeping up with friends, bloggers, social media or anything else. I’m still working on getting that to work. And now with Joseph starting school, and later Logan, it’s throwing me for a loop. Money = good, no time = not so good. I’m also working on my own spiritual path, what that looks like from a mental/spirit perspective, and logistics perspective.

So. Crazyness.

Catching Up

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I know, I know, I know. I disappeared.

I can’t help it.

Let’s see. Let’s do a recap on everyone.

Joseph: Doing well! He starts 6th grade in the fall at his same special school. That district does Jr. High 6-8, so he’s technically entering Jr. High. Which… I’m not ready for. Neither am I ready for the budding puberty I’m witnessing. Under his psychiatrist’s direction, we’ve also stopped his meds. Except for a couple of days of adjustment, he’s done fine, which is great. I’m waiting for 3 months into the school year, though. That will be the true test as to whether he can stay off the meds. I know of wherefore I speak. He’s currently doing summer school.

Logan: Also doing well! He starts 3rd in fall. They’ll also be bringing in some modifications, as well as an OT observation based on a medical request. Of course, I’ve been asking for 3 years, but hey, better late than never? or something. Anyway, the modifications we requested should help him tremendously academically. The school finally seemed to realize the weightiness of his heart condition, and then promptly freaked the eff out, so now we have to have (yet another) meeting with the district nurse and the PE teacher before the school year starts. Sigh. They act like this has never been an issue before. Um. I’ve put it on all his school forms, he’s had it since birth, and he wears a medic-alert bracelet. Like I said, it’s only taken them 3 years. Seriously, get with the program.

Poe: Also doing well! He’s still working nights. We have hopes that a promotion is in the works, but the truth is that it is months away, and I don’t trust his company as far as I can throw them, so we’ll see.

Me: Doing… Ok. I’ve gained a ton of new clients (good!) but my mother is starting to refuse my help (bad!). I’ve been working on a lot of spiritual stuff (good!) which is leading to confusion (bad!). Still in therapy.

We’re also potentially planning a grandfather/grandson trip, and a camping trip. Maybe. If we can get our act together, and have some extra funds. Truthfully, one day morphs into the next. I feel like right now, we’re all about survival and routines. But we ARE surviving. We’re even seeing some progress on a lot of fronts. But lately it seems like it goes like this:

Wake up really early.

Work.

Wake kids/get ready.

Work.

Housework.

Work.

Dinner and cleanup.

Watch trash TV, because my brain can’t handle anything creative.

Bed.

Get up really early.

So… I haven’t gotten a good rant on in a really long time. And maybe that’s a good thing. I’m trying to live from a place that’s “heart-centered” and trying to not judge anyone for anything. That’s both easy, and incredibly difficult at the same time. But it does have the benefit of peace, which is something I’ve been trying to attain for a long, long time.

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