Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Conference

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Had Logan’s conference today.

Apparently he’s an absolute joy to have around. I’ll have to tell you the snack story later too. Giving and loving and enthusiastic.

Not doing so hot with letters and writing though. To the point of maybe being held back next year. But that’s ok. He’s very young for his age and always has been (has to do with his development stunting due to his heart) so if he does have to stay back one year in Kindergarten, I think that may turn into a blessing. We have a wait and see attitude. But Logan also has a tendency to not get something at all, and then wham, something clicks, and he gets it forwards and backwards. I’m hoping that’s the case here. But either way, as always, we’ll do what’s best for Logan when the time comes.

explosions

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So. The world is exploding around me. Let’s see if I can basically get this all in niblets. I’m sorry if it sounds disjointed, but I need to get it all out.

So yesterday I posted about Joseph doing really well. Not so much now.

My brother-in-law has been arrested. I have no details. So – needless to say Poe’s a worried wreck.

And last night I had a complete and utter meltdown. I would say a nervous breakdown, but I have no need for medication today, so my guess is it wasn’t that severe. But, I think a lot of pent up shit just boiled over. I feel better today, which tells me it was needed. Joseph’s meltdown started it, but it all just came out. A lot of stuff about our marriage, and our lives, and the kids, and the grand scheme of things. I’m still married. Staying that way. I’m okay. But we still have to continue our f’d up lives, and that’s ok too. We’re not alone, we’re together, and we’re doing it together. Again. For the last couple of years I feel like I’ve been doing it alone. I don’t think I am anymore.

Parent/Teacher Conferences

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Joseph’s parent teacher conference was this morning. Actually, it was this afternoon, but I changed it. I really didn’t want to cross the picket lines at lunch to get out there. I arrive in the morning before the picketers do, and then they leave before I do – I’m trying to get through this without crossing their lines if I can.

Anyway, back to Joseph. He’s doing great. Absolutely great. There haven’t been any major episodes or tantrums. The things he’s having trouble with in math are concepts everyone is having problems with at this point in 2nd grade. Some of you may remember his previous antics.

So – the IEP and therapy are working. Well. I should say, the IEP and therapy are working because of the constant communication between me, his teacher, his special ed teacher, and his therapist. It’s really working.

To be able to go to the first parent/teacher conference of the year – having NOT been called that year yet for discipline issues – and have them show me tests where he got a 90%??? The sense of relief is huge. Just huge. Finally – I feel like the hard work of advocacy is worth it. My son is showing progress. Real progress.

We may actually survive this thing.

This was cross-posted at Special Needs Parent as well.

There’s also a new entry up – interview with Attila the Mom.

More Loganisms

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Joseph: Hey! I have 6 pockets!
Logan: That’s the 3 plus 3 channel.
~
Logan: You know, I really wish I had 4 fingers on this hand and 6 fingers on this one.
Me: Why?
Logan: ‘Cause I said so.
Me: Oh.
~
Sometimes, I’m finding that as a parent, it’s better to just nod and smile… Nod and smile.

One Kind Act

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When you’re a new parent, everything is hard. Harder than you expected it to be, really. Any outing turns into this awful undertaking of preparation. Binkies and bottles and diapers and burp rags and activities and extra clothes and snacks. Even if you plan for just an hour out. Especially then, because the veteran’s know… When you say, “I’m just going to hop out and be back in an hour – I don’t need all this stuff.” THAT is when the up the back into the hair diaper blow-out will occur.

New moms? Trust me on this one. Just ask how I know.

So, the kids were about 5 months, and 2 years respectively. I decided we were going to go Christmas shopping for daddy – otherwise I NEVER would have attempted this by myself. I went to a further away mall because it has this really cool indoor playground that Joseph could run around in. We had finished shopping, and I was letting him run around in the playground so I could feed Logan. I looked down to get Logan cleaned up around the mouth, looked up again and Joseph was gone. Just gone. So I grab Logan, snag the stroller and am wandering around yelling Joseph’s name. After a couple minutes, I found him. There was a car that they were giving away – some sweepstakes thing, and he was over at the car, all by himself, trying to get in. I ran over to him and was in the process of telling him to NEVEREVEREVEREVER leave me when we’re out. I start trying to pull Joseph away from the car, and he’s having NOTHING to do with that concept. So, now in one hand I’ve got a 2 year old screaming ’cause he can’t have what he wants, on the other hip I’ve got a 5 month old screaming ’cause he doesn’t know what’s going on. I’m dragging the frickin’ stroller with my foot. So you know what I did?

I sat down on the floor in the middle of the mall and started crying.

About that time, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up. An older woman just looked at me and said, “Honey, it gets better. I promise.” And then she just walked away.

My children are now 7 and 5. But I have never ever forgotten that woman. That act of kindness. No judgement. No attempts to “help.” Just a statement of something that gave me hope, when at that moment I had no hope.

I don’t remember how I got home, but I assume I got everyone calmed down, cleaned up, noses blown, and headed home. I don’t remember anything else about that day.

But one act of kindness made it all better.

This has been a CHBM collab

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