What I have to say may seem vague, and circular.  It may make no sense at all.  In fact, I’m not sure I have the words to express the emotions behind it.  But I want to get it out of my head, and this is the best way I know how to do it.

As we all have witnessed, there is ugliness in the “masses” in terms of this election cycle, candidates, and propositions on the table.  I wrote about it a bit before.

Now it’s personal.  Because I just realized that someone I respect, if they truly knew how I feel, and what I feel, finds me evil and bigoted.  Now that I know that, I don’t know that I can associate with her anymore.   Not because of how she feels about these issues, but because of what she would feel about me. This person is more than an acquaintance, but not an actual friend.  One of those in between people.  And yet?  It hurts me greatly.

Before these elections, I – and I imagine, many people like me – maybe didn’t get too involved in political machinations.  They probably voted the party line, because they knew that in general, they were of that political affiliation.  But this election, I feel people are more passionate, and more educated, and are actively seeking out that information.  They’re vocal.  They’re expressive.  And there is judgment.

But regardless of who wins the election, and what props pass and don’t…  We then have to live our lives.  and the smaller picture – those people in our lives right now – the small microcosm we actually live, eat and breathe in.  And frankly, I believe that this election has caused large rifts.  Rifts between families, colleagues, friends.  We’ve all had to delve deep into what we feel and why.  We have this constant need to defend our views and our choices.  That’s going to come to roost.  It already has started.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to have a lighthearted conversation with this person again.  Because she thinks I’m evil.  I so very much want to show this person why I feel the things I do.  What path I took to get there.  What I’ve seen in my life to shape my choices.  Basically, defend myself.  I won’t.  I won’t talk to her about it.  She has her opinions for a reason.  She is passionate about that, and I respect that, so I won’t draw her into a debate that neither of us will win.  It’ll just create more hurt.  And those reasons place me in a category of persons that she does not feel holds her same moral code.  I’m not judging her for this.  I see how and why and where it comes from.  She has made her stance clear, and concise.

Regardless…  This makes me terribly sad.  Because I’ve lost something valuable there.

So my question becomes, how do we as a country on down to the next door neighbor continue to cohabitate after this election?  How?  I certainly don’t have the answers.  That’s why I’m asking the question.  That’s my main concern.  I would think most voters, by now, know who they’re voting for.  So – even though we don’t know the outcome, it’s a done deal.  So now I’m growing very concerned about how we come together to live peacefully with one another in the aftermath.