Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

Poe is the Center of the Universe

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So, today is Sunday. In addition, DST is ending. So, I woke up early, of course. I noticed something interesting. Everyone was up, but Poe wasn’t home yet (because he had to work an extra hour due to DST). No one wanted to do anything. I was hesitating on the coffee, the kids didn’t want me to make their breakfast. The whole house was on “pause” until Poe got home.

In addition, when Poe got home – and was practically attacked by his family – he let me know that tonight he has to work 12 hours. This has a trickle down effect. Due to when he needs to sleep now, I don’t get to go to therapy. I won’t be grocery shopping (I NEVER go with both kids). I’ll be handling the night time stuff (that’s Poe’s thing). We won’t be eating dinner together. It just messes everything all up.

Seriously, I’ve now realized that the universe revolves around Poe. He’s surprisingly OK with this.

Ok, that’s not surprising at all.

A Typical Friday

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It’s been a long time since I did one of these. Thought I ‘d give another go. Most of this would be terrible boring to most – but it’s my journal, which I print out for posterity, and I think these snippets of real life are important to record as so much changes over the course of our lives.

6:00am

Alarm goes off. I normally hit “snooze” a couple times first, but I was in the midst of a nightmare I’d rather not revisit, so I got up. Took note that one of the kids were in the bathroom at some point, and left the light on. Wonder if anyone’s sick? I hope not.

6:00am-6:30am

Restroom. Coffee. Check headlines, emails, calendar/to-do list for the day, weather, bank account. Research and purchase a special Christmas present for Poe. All of $25, but will have significant sentimental value 🙂

6:30am-6:40am

Wake Joseph up. Feed him his breakfast of choice. Coco Puffs. I can’t decide if I’m a terrible mom or a rockin’ one. Give him his vitamins. Give him the rundown of the day (take your shower, brush your teeth, shampoo your hair, wash – with soap!, get dressed, clean your room). Let me know weather and what to wear. If I don’t do that the kids wear shorts in the rain and sweatshirts in 90 degree weather. Set up the shower, toothbrush, and toothpaste. Our shower’s water handles are particularly difficult to turn. And if I don’t do their toothbrush, I cannot guarantee that toothpaste is in actuality involved. Trust me.

6:40am-7:00am

Finish off the websites I started reading. Start reading my feeds.

7:00am-7:10am

Wake up Logan. Follow the same process as Joseph, except he takes his showers at night. Put lunch money in both backpacks, as Poe forgot to the night before.

7:20am

Unlock the front door (we lock up and hide the keys due to Joseph’s sleepwalking/running issues). Wait for Joseph’s cab. Argue with Logan about jacket he should take. Argue with Joseph about the mask he wants to wear to school. Send Joseph off to school. Welcome Poe home from work.

7:30am

Argue with Logan. No Joseph does not have the remote control hidden in his room. Oh Look! It’s on the couch. You looked SO.HARD.

7:35am-7:50am

Continue to read my feeds/drinking my coffee while waiting for time to take Logan to school. Chat with Poe about his day night.

7:50am-8:00am

Drive Logan to school. Listen to him chat on and on (he’s my “talker”) about our newly formed compost pile, the differences in the clouds in the sky, and more. Come home rather nervously as I fishtailed a couple of times. The ground is wet from the rain we had this morning, and due to a terrible driving in the rain accident years ago, I’m a very nervous wet-weather driver.

8:00am-9:55am

Started this post. Kissed Poe Goodnight Goodday Goodnight. Finished off my feed reading. Set my phone alarm for school pickup (I’m always afraid I’ll lose track of time and forget the poor kid). Started work for client A. Listen to some radio/youtube/music while I work (this happens all day in the background). Started work for client B. Switch to client A. Switch back to client B. Have a quick breather on work, so I check my feeds for updates to kill time, as I have something I have to do for client A in a few minutes. Back to client A.

9:55am-10:25am

Take a break from working… Take a shower and get dressed. Used the scrub I use twice a week due to acne. I have burgeoning wrinkles, and definite white hair coming in. Neither of which bothers me at age 36. I have seriously earned them. The acne, however? Is insulting. Have to use lotion today, too. The weather is causing extreme itchiness and painful dryness. Hate lotion, so I hate that. Note, too, that due to the weather I have a bad hair day. I decide to just go all out on my frumpy/grumpy and wear sweats. Also hang up the bathmat and straighten the towels so they, you know, dry. Because I am the only individual in this house who apparently has the capacity to do so.

10:25am-10:40am

Laundry time. Fold/put away the dries (darks), and put in a new load (whites/lights). Make another cup of coffee. My third and final. Decide on dinner, and defrost as necessary. BBQ chicken breasts, corn on the cob, and beans.

10:40am-10:55am

Put away the clean dishes. Clean up the kitchen a bit. Remind myself for the billionth time that the bulb over the sink is out. Reheat the coffee I forgot about. Walk through the house and do a pick-up. Curse the fact that I can’t vacuum, yet, as planned (Poe’s still sleeping). Take a walk outside and make sure nothing is out of whack or damaged. It rained REALLY hard – and I think there was hail – this morning. Nothing’s damaged, but note to myself for the billionth time the bulb in the backyard is out. Do my devotions – the contents of which are private.

10:55am-11:50am.

Check feeds for updates. I know it seems like I do that a lot, but there’s a couple of situations I’m keeping an eye on. Plus – if I don’t? They start stacking up and causing me to do mass “mark-as-read.” I don’t like to do that. Sassy (one of our cats) knows my routines… She’s decided now’s a good time to get on my lap – I might be here a while. She only loves me when it’s cold outside. Check my email to keep it in control, and see if there’s more work to do… and back to work on client B.

11:50am-12:15pm

Switched the wet laundry to the dryer (oh MY! What a glamorous life I lead). Take my compost from yesterday out to the heap before it rains again (because of course, I would melt), and research what out of tonight’s dinner can be added (I’m still learning about this process).

12:15pm-12:40pm

Feeds and emails again! A bit on client B, and some research on this new gardening project we’re working on as a family.

12:40pm-1:00pm

Did 15 minutes of “real” cleaning. I hate cleaning. So I devised a system. I do a quick vacuum and sweep once a week, a quick feather dust once a week, dishes and one load of laundry daily, and then 15 minutes of “deep” cleaning in a room each day until that room’s done and I move on to the next. Ooooo! – Raining again, and thunder this time.

1:00pm-1:30pm

Purchase another week of freeze dried food (for our emergency/earthquake/zombie apocalypse stash) since I have a smidge of extra money this week from a check I got from a client. Dangnabbit – I forgot to eat again! Too late now, going to have to pick up Logan soon. Do a little bit more emergency planning research. It’s a little overwhelming but I’m starting to absorb in little bits. Cleanup some of my bookmarks while I wait for the time to pick up Logan. I’ve almost closed up shop on work for the day – slow day today, apparently. Poe is awake!

1:30pm-2:10pm

Left to pick up Logan from school – needed to get out the winter coat for the first time due to the weather. He get’s out on Friday’s at 1:55pm and we live 2 minutes from the school by car, so yes, I sit in the carline. It’s just so much easier to be there early and wait, then to wait in the stop/go/stop/go/don’t hit that Kid!/don’t hit the idiot adult! line. Sit there and read in the rain, while dry and ensconced in my car. Honestly it’s the only time I have to read. Logan gets in and clicked, and away we go. Logan chatters all the way home about how it’s sunny AND raining at the same time! I love how his child-enthusiasm hasn’t let up one iota through age, yet. Get home, unpack/dejacket, snack, and he gets an hour on the xbox before it’s time for his night at the grandparents. I whip up some of my crystal lite (I don’t care for plain water, so this is my compromise for getting more water into me). And – I turn on the heater for the first time this season. I know, I live in southern California, but it’s also storming out. We’re to have a low of 44 tonight, which is unusual for this time of year.

2:10pm-2:45pm

Another feed read and email check session. By the way – go read this, “What Makes a ‘Good Mother.'” AWESOME post. Love Carmen. Yes, yes, and yes. I commented there – but I’ll tell you here what I said. Instead of asking ourselves or others what makes a “good” mother, we should ask what makes a “human” mother. I declare myself a Human Mother. Finished up my paid work for the day and submitted my time.

2:45pm-3:10pm

Worked on the school newspaper for Logan’s school. It’s one thing I can do from home, and contribute to the school, without having to deal a whole lot with other people. I don’t play well with others. Takes a good many hours throughout the year – so I feel like I actually do something for them. Oh, and Darnit! Make a mental note to myself to make more bread tomorrow. We’re out, and it’s too late to do it, as baking the bread/rising dough will interfere with dinner, ’cause I’m using the oven tonight. Planning fail. Welcome Joseph home and get him his snack. Send Logan off to the grandparents.

3:10pm-3:40pm

Changes to dinner. Pasta instead of beans, and I’m trying to find an easy biscuit recipe with the stuff I have on hand to go with. Apparently the rain brings out starchy cravings.

3:40pm-5:40pm

Decide that I’m making this dinner entirely more complicated than it needs to be but move ahead with it anyway. Prep dry ingredients for biscuits, prep corn, and decide I might can pull off making those loaves of bread, too, while I’m at it. Apparently cold = domesticity. Anywho… Cooked dinner ate it. Burned the hell out of my thumb. Joseph liked everything. It’s a miracle. (No, really. It’s a miracle.)

5:40pm-5:55pm

Taking a break for perusing feeds and bookmarks.

5:55pm-7:15pm

Make two loaves of bread that can sit overnight in the fridge for baking tomorrow. Misjudge my mixer and flour and judiciously flour my kitchen. Clean up baking and dinner dishes, pots and pans, and wipe down kitchen. Take another full bowl out to the pile. Set some stuff to soak. Poe goes down for his nighttime nap. Run the dishwasher. Pack up Poe’s lunch/drinks for tonight in his cooler. Set the coffee for tomorrow. Put my cell on the charger. Grab anything I think I’ll need for the evening. Change into pajamas. Take ibuprofen for a seriously aching knee. I think it’s the rain. Put salve on my thumb.

7:15pm-10:15pm

Watch some youtube videos and read some websites on some interests and research I’m doing. This whole time Joseph’s playing the xbox as much as he wants. It’s his only night without video game limits.

10:15pm-11pm

I am exhausted. But it feels wrong to go to bed before Poe goes to work, and Joseph gets to stay up late (Friday). Poe gets up, gives Joseph his meds, and puts him to bed. He gets some caffeine in him, and gets dressed and is off to work. Every.single.night. I say, “Iloveyoupleasebecareful.” It’s a mantra. If I don’t get to say it for some reason I will call him on his cell. At his jobsite he has already been attached by a drunk (Poe flipped him over his shoulder, cuffed him, and sat on him until the police got there), witnessed a prostitute get seriously in trouble and beat-down from her pimp, and witnessed a stabbing. I must say my mantra to keep him safe (I didn’t say I was logical or reasonable. And I’m tired.). He leaves, and I go to bed.

That’s my normal Friday. Add crises, mix well, and another version will come out.

 

 

Wild Wonders of the Momma Bear

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I hate the fact that I have to be a momma bear. But hey, what can I say? If I don’t advocate for my kids – who will?

Joseph is on something through the state called AB3632. What that basically means is that the state recognizes that my kid needs more help than an IEP can give him, and so the state pays for his therapy (a certain amount of hours). A lot goes into the decisions as to what’s in the programs. What I mean by that is, it’s not rubber-stamped.

Every other year a social worker and Psychologist come in and have meetings with Joseph and us to determine if he still qualifies. They will also meet with his teachers, psychiatrist, and therapists, all separately. So far, they’ve never denied him the program. Then, every six months or so, his teachers, his therapists, the principal, and the lead of the special school he’s in meet with us and we hack through his IEP. Everything from his education, his testing, how he’s doing, goals – progress and new ones, down to specifically how many hours a month he needs in therapy. I used to just HATE those meetings, but that’s changed since we switched to the new school. Instead of feeling like I have to fight for crumbs, me against them, I actually feel like a member of the team. And then of course, conferences and meetings as needed. If stuff comes up for him that puts him in crises, that usually falls under the therapists. We’ve had several crises moments, and his therapists were there for us and him on the phone on a weekend.

These are things he needs. Our goal is for him to be able to be an able bodied, independent adult, who can hold a job and live on his own.

Well, now, it turns out that his therapy center might not have AB3632 funding any more after the first of the year. You can imagine the conversations I’ve been having. Serious.Momma.Bear. Especially when the therapy center decided to just stop anyway – you know, since we probably won’t have any funding later. Seeya.

Excuse me?

Yeah. No. You don’t get to slough us off without creating a plan with us, and assisting us with finding the people who DO have the funding. My son is on prescription meds someone at YOUR center prescribes. Your center provides HALF of his therapy hours that everyone agrees he needs. You don’t get to make us go away ’cause it’s more convenient while you wait to see what the state does with the program. Because you still DO have funding.

Ahem. He still has his therapy. He still has his Psych. (meds). It just took 3 separate intense conversations with the supervisor at the center during which I made her realize I don’t do what others tell me to, and I don’t go away because it’s convenient for them. I also don’t play well with others.

I understand the funding issues. We have to wait on the state for that. You just don’t throw the literal baby (MY BABY) out with the bathwater. He’s not a “case,” “Case Number,” or “statistic.” He’s Joseph. He has a mother named Michele. And she will damn well make sure you know it.

Are You Prepared?

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One thing we’ve been working on around here is emergency preparation.

One teacher I follow on YouTube said this about her stash: These are my earthquake-fire-emp-mayan calendar-bible apocolypse – economic disaster – zombie apocalypse supplies.

To which I say, “Exactly.” You see, you never-ever-ever know what can or is going to happen. Never.

Right now, I think the country is on a dangerous, teetering precipice. It could all go really really good, or really really bad, really really fast. In addition there are a ton of spiritual teachings about times we seem to be in, everything from ultimate natural disaster, to Biblical end times, to human enlightenment. And finally, I live in southern California. Can anyone say “earthquake?” And believe me when I say – that’s not fear speaking. In 1989, I remember watching the footage of the Loma Prieta quake. I remember the 1994 Northridge quake.

But the kicker for me was the 1987 Whittier Narrows quake. It was an experience I will never ever forget. It happened at 7:42am on October 1st. It was a 5.9 whose epicenter was a mere 15 miles from us. Three days later there was a 5.6 aftershock. One person died when he was caught in a landslide. One person died at CalState L.A. when a concrete slab fell on her. There were 5 more indirect deaths.

I was in 7th grade. School started at 7:50am. My first period was P.E., so I was in the locker rooms under the gym, changing my clothes. Because of the time, pretty much everyone was on campus, but not in their homerooms yet. When it hit, I was literally standing on one foot trying to put on a sock. At first, I sincerely thought I was going to pass out, ’cause the room started spinning. I though, “Oh God – how embarrassing.” Then the tiles started falling off the showers. Then the lockers started falling into each other like dominoes. I got hit in the head by one. We ran out, and ran over to the football field. That was a bit difficult, as since we weren’t in our homerooms, the teachers didn’t have any attendance rolls yet to determine if anyone was missing. I had no shoes or socks on. Another kid from my class (also changing for PE) had no shirt. We sat on the field and watched aftershocks come through like ocean waves. When parents started coming and the group was smaller we were moved to the cafeteria. I remember when we moved, Mr. Kissell, my Algebra teacher, carried me. I was barefoot, and there was broken glass everywhere. We watched, as hazmat crews came, looking like astronauts, due to all the spilled chemicals in the chemistry labs. We watched as people in hard hats came and taped off parts of the school with caution tape due to structural damage. One boy broke his leg after falling down the stairs. When the group was just a few of us, they moved us to the office.

Finally, my sister-in-law came and picked me up. She just had a feeling I was still there, and popped in to check. That was around 2pm. I burst into tears. I had spent all day there with no sign of my parents. When she took me home, my mom was there all nonchalant. “Oh, you mean they closed the school?” “Oh, you mean the lack of electricity, phones, and major earthquake wasn’t a CLUE?” First, she went out to check on my grandmother, then just went home, figuring the school would take care of me. I’m still bitter. We have had a couple of emergencies at my kids’ school, and I have been right there, front and center, every time. I never ever want my kids to feel the way I did that day. Abandoned, scared, and worried that my family was dead. Because why else would they not come and get me? It had a profound effect on me.

Then, of course, there was the Station fire, which started in our hills and turned into the largest fire disaster recorded in Los Angeles County.

My point is… Be prepared. Have a meeting place, both near your house, and away from home. Have food. Have water. Know how to turn off your water, gas, and electricity. Have a solar or crank radio so you can hear what’s going on. Think about what you would need to cook with, bathe with, etc. if you have no utilities. Have a pack ready for evacuation. Educate yourself. Prepare yourself.

We have two emergency 3-day, 4-person backpacks. One at home, and one in the truck. Food/Water, blankets, first aid kits, gloves, tools, glowsticks, emergency radios and more. I’m slowly building my water supply and freeze dried food supplies. We’re pretty prepared now for 2 weeks. I want one more week, and then I’ll start preparing for more long term. Bulk food that can be made without power sources, seeds, and more in case something REALLY bad happens and we’re on our own for longer. One problem we have in our area is that if our water gets cut off due to damage or something, we can’t drink the water here in wells. JPL’s rocket testing in the 40’s and 50’s contaminated our ground water. They’re cleaning it up but they anticipate another 30 years before that’s complete. So – we’re definitely stocking on water, as we don’t have a local source other than what comes through the tap. These are the things I’m talking about. Think. Prepare. Prepare for your local area, your local/personal needs.

Are you prepared?

Life Can Be Hard… Ya Think?

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Yeah. That title is a little dumb. Kind of like saying the sky can be blue… Water can be wet. Ya think?

So, where the hell have I been? Right here. I work from 5am to 5pm with some breaks for things like picking up the kids. Work is rather demanding at the moment, and I’m still trying to get my feet under me. I’m learning to not make my clients’ emergencies my own personal emotional emergencies, if that makes sense. But? We need the money.

In addition, my mother needs much more care. So, that’s thrown in there, and I had to drop a few clients for that reason. I just couldn’t keep up.

And to the “friends” on Facebook who I don’t know who are friends simply to be game neighbors (ie, I don’t know them)? Your comments of “Where are you, I sent you stuff?” Unappreciated. It’s a game. I can’t play right now. Deal.

Then? Joseph had another 5150. For those not in the “know” – that’s the famed 72 hour Psych hold in the hospital. I simply don’t want to get into the details at the moment, as we’re still in the midst of the mental and physical cleanup and logistics. Suffice it to say though, it was nowhere near the nightmare it was last time. That… was the worst week of my life (and I’ve had a hard life).  So – that’s positive – it wasn’t anything like that. Short story, we spent 30 hours under guard. Joseph was under guard, not me, but we weren’t exactly going to leave him there. And finally one… ONE… social worker LISTENED to us. The first one after 4 shifts, and no doctor seen. She saw something in us that no one else who just wanted their papers off their desk saw. And she made the personal decision to advocate for us. Other that Joseph’s current personal team, she’s the first who I felt cared. Really cared. I hope she never loses that. Joseph is home because we convinced them to break the hold. Let me say that again, because it might be foreign to those familiar with 5150s. We convinced them to break the hold.

Minor miracles. Sometimes I think those are the only reason I’m still alive.

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