…my dear sweet weird husband decided that it would be a good time to pull a practical joke. Yeah. Oh and I was REALLY pregnant.

I didn’t pass my glucose test, so I was getting ready for the torture that is the three hour. You know, fast from 8pm on the day before. Go in in the morning and drink that obnoxious stuff, and then get tested every hour for three hours. One: I got to have morning sickness throughout my pregnancy. The only thing that helped was food. Fasting sucks. Two: It turns out that yes, indeed, I was diabetic, so the whole fasting, and then sugar drink made me almost pass out. I had the shakes. I couldn’t focus. I was sweating.

So, I’m waiting for Poe to get back from the store, so that we can go on and get to the doctor. He comes in, and sits me down. He says, “OK, so I did something and I don’t want you to be mad.” “Okay.” So I went to the store, and there was this chick. I think she might be a hooker. And she has like, no clothes on. And it’s too cold for that (this was in February.)” “Okay.” “So she’s in the car.” “You picked up a naked hooker?” “Well. Yeah. I guess I did.” I thought maybe we could give her a jacket and a ride before we go.”

You know what? I wasn’t mad. I was feeling awful, and just wanted to get to the doctor and get this awful thing over with so I could eat and then pass out.

So I said, “No.” “What do you mean, no?” “Look, take her one of my jackets, but we’re not giving her a ride until after the doctor. In fact, take her with us. She’ll be warm. But we’re going to the doctor. Now.” “But…” “NOW.”

So I waddle walk to the car. And sitting in the back seat – in a seatbelt no less – is the biggest stuffed gorilla I’ve ever seen. With a bow in her hair, no less.

We kept that stupid thing for years.

This has been a CHBM collab.

The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. ~Samuel Johnson

Wow. There are so many applications of this quote in my life.

Geez.

Past drug use.

Past men.

Currently smoking. So so so true. I mean really, what else is there to be said about it? Everyone knows the dangers of smoking. Everyone knows the dangers of addiction.

And no one thinks it’ll happen to them.

Guilty, thanks.

In lieu of their Member of the Week feature, CHBM wants us to pimp ourselves. As in why am I a darn good mommy blogger.

Here’s the problem – and lo, there are many others – I’m terrible at pimping myself in any capacity. I know what I’m good at in parenting, working, life, but I’ll be damned if I’m the one to say it. That would be bragging and bad manners – at least that’s how I was raised. Which certainly doesn’t go far in promoting my blog in any way.

So, I’ll try, but that’s as far as I’ll go.

First off, I have never considered myself a mommy-blogger. Which leads to my main “good mommy-blogger” point in my favor… Longevity.

I started writing online around ’94-’95. I lost most of my archives in great computer crashes and/or moves, so I only have my archives back to 2000. Well, that was college time – WAY before kids. Way before “blogging” too. I “journaled” online. It was hard too, in a non-user friendly way. Everything was coded by hand – each and every page – in notepad from scratch. It was then uploaded via ftp to wherever we had space – in my case I had free space with my AOL account. Each page had to be updated, as it was a page a day format, unlike most blogs nowadays with several entries on the front page. Which means, that you had to go into your previous entry and code it to link to the next, then go to your archives to link to the new entry, then of course there was the front page. And if you had links, etc, you had to add them to each and every page, unless you only had them on the front page. Frankly, a really large PITA. Eventually software came along that made things easier. And then came the blogging format, which caused no little debate among the online journaling community. But I was there.

So now – while I absolutely do write about my kids and parenting them, and my family as a whole, I also have a journalling past present and future that does not include them. I rant and rave on society, myself, headlines, marriage, etc. So – my question is? What is a mommy-blogger? And am I one? Is it blogger + children = mommy-blogger? or is it blogger who only writes about their kids/parenting = mommy-blogger? I don’t know. I actually wiki’d it, and they don’t have a definition either.

Anyway, my number one “good” mommy blogger point is longevity. In blogging terms, I’m a freakin’ dinosaur.

What else?

Hmmm.

I believe my page is cohesive, well-designed, and not terrible to look at.

I believe when I write I have something to say. Whether anyone else thinks so, I don’t know. But that drives my final point home. I write what I want to. There is some self-censorship involved… There are a few choice things I could say about some family members, which I don’t as I don’t want to start WWIII. I don’t write about work much as some things I could say could maybe possibly get me dooced. So – I don’t. Beyond those things – I’m very about what I think. I write it out. It’s my personal journal. I treat it as such. I don’t know why I publish online – I’ve never been able to articulate that at all. But it’s true. I’m true. I believe that working through my issues through my blog is true.

And I’m not going anywhere.

“My husband and I were so embarrassed when we got caught by the kids doing…….”

So far we’ve been lucky. We’ve been thisclose to getting caught by the kids doing various and sundry naughty things, but we haven’t been caught yet. So – I’m trying to think into the future. My husband doesn’t seem to get embarrassed by anything. The only times I’ve seen him get embarrassed are in response to compliments. Any other time? He’ll go out of his way to make an ass out of himself in an effort to embarrass me.

No, in the future it’ll be me that gets embarrassed. And I can just picture it. We’re doing our thing, in our room. One of the boys walks in, we dive for covers. The kid asks for juice. And Poe will turn, look at me, and say, “Yeah honey. Why don’t you get him some juice! Sheesh!” knowing full well I’m stark naked.

Yeah. That day’s coming.

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