Love. What is it anyway? I mean it causes me to all sort of things I would never do. I’m a wife, mother, pet owner, daughter…

Somehow, love causes me to pick up after sick people. At risk of my own health. Love causes me to stop everything I’m doing to bend to the whims of someone else.

Basically love causes me to do things. As a result of love, I’m now a vet, doctor, nurse, teacher, maid, technical support, breadwinner, cook (well, sometimes), chauffer, and drill seargent.

I’m also a kisser, hugger, and tickler.

Love has caused me to be all things I never was nor wanted to be, and yet, I do it out of love.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Summer. Summer. It USED to mean long lazy days in which I would COMPLTETLY annoy my mother to the point she would drop me off – alone – at the community pool and come back at the end of the day. Sunscreen be damned. It meant staying up late. It meant camping. It meant mountains. It meant going to the movies in the middle of the day. It meant popsicles, and ice cream, and mom not caring, because it was really hot. It meant trips to gramma’s for HER pool. It meant using the barbeque. It also meant lots and lots of bugspray – bugs loved me.

Now? Summer is long. It is hot. I am resentful that my kid is getting a break but I am not (how much does that suck? yet another bad mother moment.) It means no air conditioner in the truck. It means no airconditioner in the house. Window unit? Ha! I scoff. The window unit doesn’t care that we’re setting records. Summer is juggling the schedule, now that we have one in daycare, one in summer school, grandparents toting to and from summer school. It means not barbequeing ’cause we don’t have one. No camping – no money for supplies.

BUT! There are popsicles a plenty! And Ice Cream! And movies with gramma (OMG, the thought of my mother dropping Joseph off at the pool at this age! I can’t believe she did that with me). And “working” with grampa. And two kids just enjoying life, and I can almost get it back when I smell that sunscreen as I’m putting it on them. Maybe, when things are eased for us financially, maybe I’ll be able to let go with the abandon of a child.