Sparks and Butterflies...

But aside from that, she's still completely normal

BlogHer Disclaimer

By 20 Comments

So I’m going to BlogHer ’08 (woot and yay!) in two – TWO – weeks.

I have never met a blogger in person before. I’m especially nervous about this. I’m anxious about the social thing. (what if no one likes me waaaaah) So, figured the best way to attack this was to list my flaws so you won’t be shocked or surprised. heh. You probably wouldn’t have been anyway.  But this is my way of attacking my anxiety head on.  Here I am, take me or leave me, with all my flaws.

  • If I’m drinking, I talk.  If I’m nervous, I talk.  Drinking and nervous?  Oh dear.  Also – when I’m nervous I start talking louder and louder.  The problem is – I was (literally) dropped on my head too many times as a child and it effected my hearing.  I actually cannot hear myself talk.  So, while I may be talking louder, I still can’t hear a difference in my head.
  • If I’m passionate or excited about something, I start repeating myself.
  • I’m chubby.
  • I smoke.  Please don’t lecture me, unless you too fought an addiction to meth.  I will only smoke in appointed smoking areas, and I won’t blow smoke in your face.
  • I’m missing two teeth.  This is very very upsetting to me and makes me very self-conscious.  But here’s the story: I did take care of my teeth.  However, genes suck, and I was born without 8 permanent teeth.  So, that means that the permanent teeth weren’t there to push out the baby teeth.  So, the baby teeth just stuck around, until they just couldn’t hold on any more.  My bottom front teeth have been fixed, and I still have two babies that are hangin’ on for dear life in the bottom on both sides.  But on the top, one on each side, couldn’t hold on anymore.  It will take several thousand dollars to fix, and I don’t have that kind of cash, so, they are missing.  Yes, I brush and floss.  I’ve had one cavity in my life.  Just bad genes.  So – I may not smile big, and if I do, it’s because I forgot about my mouth for a minute.
  • I snore.  But you won’t have to worry about that since I’m alone – NO KIDS OR HUSBAND – in my room.  I may hide in my room because of the beautiful beautiful silence, but I digress.
  • I talk with my hands.  I’ll try not to smack you.
  • I’m a notorious clutz.  I’ll try not to drop my drink on you.

That’s me.  In all my glory.  I can’t wait to meet you there.

Comments

  5. I am so jealous….
    As I am not going to Blogher… and i will miss the opportunity to meet you…

    Pendullums last blog post..

  6. Is this where we put our disclaimers? Okay…

    1) I selectively edit my photos online and my ass is much wider than the nonexistent one I suggest. Try not to photograph it.

    2) I get my feelings seriously hurt when people wander away from me while I’m talking, so don’t do that. I might cry.

    3) I talk way too much, so that means if you follow #2 you’ll pretty much be trapped by my side all night. Good luck.

    4) I have no delusions that people will know who I am and yet I know I will be pouting inside when I get the “I’ve never heard of Velveteen Mind” looks all night. Everyone memorize the following response: “Oh, the one with the book!”

    5) I pretend to be busy looking at stuff when I don’t know where to go next. If you see me looking at the wall with great interest, please come talk to me. ASAP.

    Huh, suddenly I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t go to BlogHer. Get it together, man!

  9. Oh, thank God! A place to come clean before we all bumble around trying not to look like the idiots we’re not but all feel we must be. My disclaimer:

    1. I talk a lot, too. (This seems to be a common condition around here.) Sometimes I hear myself babbling on incessantly, but am powerless to stop the madness. I try to quiet down, but it just doesn’t always work. Plus, I have a lot of stories to tell. (See explanation in my blog header.)

    2. I nervous laugh. I just discovered this after listening to myself conduct several interviews on tape. I am somewhat mortified by this discovery. I will try to keep the giggles down to a minimum.

    3. I’m not sure if I qualify as chubby or downright fat in most people’s eyes. According to those Body Mass Index charts, I think I’m obese. Still, that seems a bit excessive to me.

    4. I’m letting my hair grow out because I have this desire to be all flowy and feminine lately. Unfortunately, my hair is usually much cuter shorter. So just indulge me and forgive me if it’s a bad hair day. (Wait, is it humid in SF? The hair will do much better if it’s not humid.)

    5. I hate shoe and clothes shopping. I like to have cute shoes and clothing, but because I hate going out to hunt for it, I may be lacking in that department. Especially the shoes. What can I say? I have wide feet. (I may be getting a pedicure pre-BlogHer to make up for the lack of cute shoes.)

    6. I’m using up my old business cards. They’re very elegant, but rather bland. I’ll try to have more exciting cards next year. Don’t mistake me for boring if you only see my card.

    7. My approach to life is “Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, act like you belong and no one will know the difference.” I’m pretty good at doing that. But the truth is, I often feel like I’m on the margins of things. So I’m going to look for Megan of the Velveteen Mind (the one with the book!) and join her in staring at the wall. Feel free to join us.

    Jennifer/The Word Cellars last blog post..I’ll Never Get It: Thoughts on rejection

  10. Oh, thank God! A place to come clean before we all bumble around trying not to look like the idiots we’re not but all feel we must be. My disclaimer:

    1) I talk a lot, too. (This seems to be a common condition around here.) Sometimes I hear myself babbling on incessantly, but am powerless to stop the madness. I try to quiet down, but it just doesn’t always work. Plus, I have a lot of stories to tell. (See explanation in my blog header.)

    2) I nervous laugh. I just discovered this after listening to myself conduct several interviews on tape. I am somewhat mortified by this discovery. I will try to keep the giggles down to a minimum.

    3) I’m not sure if I qualify as chubby or downright fat in most people’s eyes. According to those Body Mass Index charts, I think I’m obese. Still, that seems a bit excessive to me.

    4) I’m letting my hair grow out because I have this desire to be all flowy and feminine lately. Unfortunately, my hair is usually much cuter shorter. So just indulge me and forgive me if it’s a bad hair day. (Wait, is it humid in SF? The hair will do much better if it’s not humid.)

    5) I hate shoe and clothes shopping. I like to have cute shoes and clothing, but because I hate going out to hunt for it, I may be lacking in that department. Especially the shoes. What can I say? I have wide feet. (I may be getting a pedicure pre-BlogHer to make up for the lack of cute shoes.)

    6) I’m using up my old business cards. They’re very elegant, but rather bland. I’ll try to have more exciting cards next year. Don’t mistake me for boring if you only see my card.

    7) My approach to life is “Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, act like you belong and no one will know the difference.” I’m pretty good at doing that. But the truth is, I often feel like I’m on the margins of things. So I’m going to look for Megan of the Velveteen Mind (the one with the book!) and join her in staring at the wall. Feel free to join us.

    Jennifer / The Word Cellars last blog post..I’ll Never Get It: Thoughts on rejection

  18. I got here from Stimey – I have NEVER met anyone else like me that I am not related to who has basically no adult teeth. So far, all my babies are hanging in though. But I am missing a few all together (no baby ever!) which my parents graciously had installed before I left for college. Not looking forward to the day when more fall out. There…what a fun fact!

    Elaines last blog post..The Pied Piper of Reston

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