I have this little nightlight in the bathroom Poe gave me as a little Mother’s Day Gift. It’s a silver sun with a little blue drop crystal over the light. Pretty. Sparkly. Very me – hence the gift.
I was cleaning up today, and noticed that the crystal was just sort of there – leaning on the light instead of hanging. I took it, figuring maybe a cat brushed too hard against it and broke the metal groove it hung on. It was sitting on the table and Logan saw it, he said, “I don’t want to be sneaky anymore. I know how that broke. Joseph did it.” In other words, we’ve been on him about being sneaky, and he figured he’d get brownie points by ratting out his brother.
I called in Joseph and asked if he knew how it broke. Tears ensue, but he didn’t lie. He wanted to crystal for a necklace. He’s a bit of a horder and collector. Frankly, Logan’s room looks like a monastery room, whereas Joseph’s room looks like he’s already lived two decades, and all the stuff one might collect therein. Logan’s not a collector. Anyway – Joseph has trouble not taking something that’s not his, but he’s been making a lot of progress lately and put it back as best he could, “because it was wrong to take it.”
So. I make jewelry. Did you know that? I don’t sell it or anything, ’cause I don’t think I’m good enough at it, and don’t have the money to buy true good quality findings. But, I do have some stuff on hand that I make for myself. I had Joseph sit there while I fixed the nightlight. And then had him pick some beads and I made him a “manly” necklace.
Basically, I wanted him to know that wanting nice things that strike your eye is fine – it’s HOW you get it that matters.
Did I make a parenting mistake in making him a necklace? I don’t know if I taught the right lesson. That’s not rhetorical – I really want to know.
No! I think is was a great illustration of “if you want something, ask”-it was concrete. Not like a ‘wait til next time’ lesson.
I agree with HM. One of the hardest lessons to teach is “you need to ask first,” because that lesson is usually taught after they DON’T ask for something!
I think this is a great solution. 🙂 I think it is actually teaching two lessons, which is that you should ask first but ALSO to reward honesty when you do something wrong. I was a clumsy kid and always getting into messes with having broken something or other, and I had a really hard time owning up to it (not through any fault of my parents, but every bit of positive reinforcement helps!)